This is New Jersey, for Chrissake, the most densely populated state in the union. It’s highly industrialized, the home of the pharmaceutical industry, and the place where the people have a hard edge and take no bullshit. It’s the home of the “real” Tony Sopranos of the world.

So, what’s all this stuff about farookin’ GOATS?

Well, it turns out that the state is actively encouraging New Jersey’s farmers (yeah, we actually have some of them) to raise goats in order to satisfy the increasing demand for goat meat. This demand has been fueled by the influx of immigrants form places such as Greece, Mexico, Puerto Rico,, and Jamaica, where goat meat is popular. Asians and Mexicans apparently also like the stuff. Currently most goat meat is imported in from Australia.

The state’s encouragement comes in the form of a $31,000 federal grant to encourage more farmers to raise goats. (Our tax dollars at work!) We even now have a “New Jersey Meat Goat Association,” (How would you like to attend that convention?), which will no doubt figure out creative ways to spend the $31,000 that American citizens were kind enough to pony up for this most important national cause.

I had thought that New Jersey’s slaughterhouses specialized in chopping mob bosses up in bite-sized pieces, but they must also know how to slaughter goats, because Texas (currently the biggest goat meat producing state) and New Jersey together process fifty percent of the nation’s goat meat. The meat retails for approximately $3.50 per pound and, although it is higher in cholesterol than beef, it is less fatty (so they say), which also helps accounts for its reported popularity.

The good news is that goats apparently shit significantly less than cows, and they breed faster. I feel better about this already.

New Jersey goat meat. You really can’t make this shit up.