July 26, 2004

Aching Hair Alert. (Updated)

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 8:46 pm

I don’t expect to be writing much, if anything all all, tonight. Rather, I will be trying to survive watching the first night of the Democrat Convention. I have taken prophylactic analgesics for the aching hair that will most certainly result from the experience.

I just listened to Algore, and I have upped my dosage.

Update: Well, I made it.. My impressions:

Algore – I can see him in five years sitting shitfaced on the floor of a bus terminal, wearing a snot-crusted flannel shirt and mumbling something about “votes.”

Jiimah Carter: Would be a wonderful Wal-Mart greeter.

Hillary and Bill – Words fail me. I mean it.

My roots need medical attention.


  1. Jim, before you call the paramedics, try Bombay Sapphire Gin & tonic. It’ll help, I promise! Makes the convention look like Mad TV on The Comedy Channel! (And I’m a liberal from the NorthEast . . . sob).

    Comment by Lynne — July 26, 2004 @ 10:07 pm

  2. James, to compliment Jimah Carter would not it be an appropriate punishment for Martha S. also to be a Wally World greeter—on third shift?

    Comment by Bill — July 27, 2004 @ 3:06 am

  3. Listening to the Dems is enough to give anyone bad hair.

    Comment by Fausta — July 27, 2004 @ 7:43 am

  4. The sight of 15,000 overweight white people dancing off-step to Chuck Berry and Sly and the Family Stone was enough to make me sick. Al Gore, Theresa Heinz, Bill and Hillary, Ben Affleck,Ted Kennedy : Geek, party of six, your table is ready. God bless the gays, Al Jazeera, fat Madeline Albright, the U.N., the French (who have a short memory when it comes to freeing a nation from oppressors)and crooked, Maciavelli-uttering Jim McGreevey. They deserve each other.

    God, please don’t let them play the Beatles. Since Michael Jackson owns the Beatles songs, I promise we’ll get him a new nose if he can keep these fat, overstuffed delegates from hearing the Beatles. Somewhere, Chuck Berry and Sly are crying.

    Comment by cousin gary — July 27, 2004 @ 8:08 am

  5. Jimbo:

    You must STOP denigrating my idol and future employer, Senator Clinton. I thought she looked quite sexy-didn’t you?

    Comment by Joseph — July 27, 2004 @ 8:45 am

  6. With apologies to Sly…

    Sometimes I’m right, but I can be wrong,

    My core beliefs will change before dawn,

    The butcher,the baker,the drummer and then

    If I can get 5 bucks from each of them

    I am everything people

    I’ll get you health care

    Then I’ll drop your taxes

    Then I’ll kiss the Frenchies

    My wife will get you Botox

    Different strokes for different folks

    Comment by cousin gary — July 27, 2004 @ 9:03 am

  7. LOL – okay Jim, you’re a better man than I am (so to speak). I can NOT watch conventions, just can’t do it. But I can come here and in a few short sentences find out everything I missed AND be entertained! What more could I ask for?! Keep up the good work. Sending pain medication your way…

    Comment by Teresa — July 27, 2004 @ 10:00 am

  8. DNC Humor

    Jim posted very brief yet funny impressions of last night’s frivolities. You also must read the comments, where someone started rewriting the lyrics of Everyday People. Just for

    Trackback by Accidental Verbosity — July 27, 2004 @ 11:06 am

  9. the Convention of Democrats is like a special addition of Wonderama for the hopelessly self admiring. There was no one, and I mean no one, who spoke last night that can carry the credentials of self respect, let alone respect for Americans in general. They all deserve each other. Unfortunately, we might have them foisted upon us, whether we like it or not.

    By the way, Dewar’s on the rocks is great for hair pain…

    Comment by gregor — July 27, 2004 @ 12:19 pm

  10. The Best Convention Coverage on the Blogs

    Jim of Parkway Rest Stop has been bravely watching the convention so you don’t have to! Through the haze of pain medication and directly from his recliner he has the best synopsis I’ve seen yet! Day One is here. Day…

    Trackback by Technicalities — July 29, 2004 @ 10:15 am

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