From one who is Irish three-hundred-sixty-five days per year, a Happy St. Pat’s Day to to the rest o’ ya..

At the outset, I would like to unequivocally state that this post has nothing to do with tongues. It does have everything to do with musical licks, which are snippets of songs that are: 1. ”Hot” because of their musical complexity and difficulty to play, 2. Memorable because of their innovation or effect they had on music in general at the time they appeared, or 3. Unusual, because one would ordinarily not expect to hear them in a rock and roll tune.

I got to thinking about what Licks have caught my attention over the years. Mind you, I didn’t spend a good deal of time mulling over this list. These just popped into my cruller, so I thought I would share. The categories and picks are mine alone (doubtless many can think of better examples), and they are in no particular order.

Outstanding Bass Guitar Lick: It’s the two or three bar bass lick in the middle of “Call Me Al” by Paul Simon. That is some ass-kickin’ bass playing.

Two Guitar Solo: No question. It’s the two-guitar solo in the Eagles’ “Hotel California”. Gives me chills every time I hear it.

Piano Lick: Probably a zillion that could qualify, but the one that comes to mind is the piano playing at machine gun speed in the beginning of Billy Joel’s “Angry Young Man”.

Ass-Kicking Song Beginning: Is there a better instrumental beginning of tune than the beginning of “China Grove” by the Doobie Brothers? That grabs you by the guts and won’t let go.

Guitar Hook that Runs Through the Entire Tune: It’s Mark Knopfler’s guitar lick in “Money for Nothing”. Honorable mention to Keith Richards’ guitar lick in “The Last Time”.

Drums: It is the very basic four bar “solo” in the Venture’s “Walk Don’t Run”. This is a classic example of a lick that is not notable for its difficulty. On a scale of difficulty from one to ten, this is about a 0.1, but it caught everyone’s attention at the time and was probably responsible for Slingerland, Rogers and Ludwig selling thousands of drum sets.

Guitar Lick with Distortion: Gotta be the guitar lick in the Rolling Stones’ “Satisfaction”. I remember when the record first appeared, no one could figure out exactly what instrument was playing the now-famous guitar part. However, it didn’t take long before music stores were selling “fuzz boxes” like hotcakes.

Outstanding use of a Wah-Wah Pedal: For me, it is the beginning of Isaac Hayes’ “Theme form Shaft”. Every time I hear that, I consider it a Master Lesson in the proper use of a Wah-Wah pedal.

Best Bassoon in a Tune: Small category, this, but ya gotta love the bassoon part in Simon and Garfunkel’s “Feeling Groovy” (a/k/a the “59th Street Bridge Song”) as performed by Harper’s Bazaar. Those four-note licks are absolutely perfect.

Best Recorder: This is another very small category. In fact, the only tune I know of that uses a recorder is the Rolling Stones’ “Ruby Tuesday”. I believe the now-dead Brian Jones played it. No, it is not a flute; it is a recorder.

Best Theremin: This a microscopic category. However, you can hear it played well by Rob Schwimmer in Simon and Garfunkel’s recent live concert recording. of “The Boxer”.

Best Kazoo: No question about it. It’s Denny, the Grouchy Old Cripple’s live version of “Rocky Raccoon”. This has never been recorded, but it damned well should be.

Yep. I did more than my fair share of Life 101 today. It was capped off by a few Bombay Sapphire gin martinis.

‘Nuf said.

I’ve spent the evening on Life 101, and now I’m too fried to write anything.

You might want to frustrate the hell out of yourself amuse yourself with this.

Thanks to my friend and Usual Suspect, Jeff, da Chef a da Future

A new New Jersey Blog has caught my attention. This well-written, right-leaning blog, is a mere three weeks old, and the author already has taken on a clutch of significant political and social issues of national and statewide interest, including the calling out of Newark Mayor Sharpe James on the corruption that runs rampant in the City of Newark.

The author is a conservative black woman, which, of course, drives “progressives” absolutely crazy.

I would like to do what I can to kick-start Chanice’s blog, which I believe has all the right stuff to become a valuable addition to the Blogosphere. However, don’t take my word for it: Head over to New Jersey for Change and see for yourself.nn1

Anyone remember five-and-ten-cent stores? I do.

The first five-and-ten-cent store was built in 1879 by Franklin Woolworth (the items were actually priced and five and ten cents), and later he and his brother Charles established a retail empire of more than one thousand stores.

As a boy, no ten-cent bus ride into Newark was complete without spending at least a half hour in Woolworth’s 5 & 10 on Broad Street. My Granny used to refer to it (and those stores like it) as the “Five and Dime”. It seemed to me back then that there wasn’t anything a person could want that could not be bought in a 5 & 10. Woolworth’s even had a lunch counter that served good and affordable food.**

The “Five and Dime” sold hardware, kitchen and household things like potato mashers, clothespins, clothespin bags and the rope itself to fashion a clothesline and the clothesline pulleys, one of which would be mounted on the house near a window or porch and the other to a “clothesline pole”. One could buy laundry soap, starch, socks, underwear, and even some clothes at the 5 &10. Books and toys were also always for sale.

We even had a Woolworth’s (with a lunch counter) in the town where I now live, but it closed several years ago, to be replaced by a “Dollar Store”. Now we have no less than three “Dollar Stores” in town. A month or so ago, I finally got around to visiting the one that replaced Woolworth’s, thinking that it might be somewhat the same.

It wasn’t.

The merchandize seemed cheesy to me. These independently owned operations seem to be more like a final dumping ground for things manufacturers could not sell to the better-known chain stores. And, there was no lunch counter. I won’t be returning any time soon.

Of course, it is possible that the merchandize in Woolworth’s was cheesier than I remember, but I don’t think so. At least I don’t like to think so.

** It was a segregated lunch counter in a Woolworth store in Greensboro, North Carolina that was the site of the first Sit-In in 1960, which was followed by similar demonstrations across the country. I recall the Woolworth’s in Newark being picketed by people urging shoppers, “Don’t buy at Woolworth’s! Don’t support lunch counter segregation!” Clearly this was part of a larger effort to economically hurt the Woolworth company, because the lunch counter in the Woolworth’s in Newark was not segregated. This was a source of puzzlement for those shoppers who weren’t paying attention to the news.

Today my town had its annual St. Patrick’s Day Parade. It has been held in this town for the past few years, ever since the annual parade in Sharpe James’ Wonderland Newark could not attract a sufficient number of spectators or participants.

It is quite the event in town. A few saloons make a huge killing, including the one directly on the parade route, which removes all the barstools, tables and chairs so that it can pack more celebrants into the joint.

I am partly of Irish heritage, and I am a guy who enjoys a libation or two. However, as in past years, I took a pass on the parade and the post-parade revelry. As I mentioned in an e-mail exchange with a Jersey blogging colleen, I remain of the view that too many rank amateurs come out for events such as St. Pat’s Day parades and often things can get pretty messy. There’s nothing terribly Irish or festive about some guy named Angelo puking on the sidewalk.

So, tomorrow, we will head over to the Post where The Original Bill will have prepared a shitload of corned beef and cabbage. We will eat and drink with the Usual Suspects, which is to say — with “professionals”.

Imagine you’re on stage and some asshole heckler a patron of the establishment hollers, “You’re a shitty guitar player!”

It would be sweet to whip this out.

ViaThe Presurfer

Looks like the BlogSpot sites are cooked at the moment. Been there. Aggravating as hell.

I am sporting a case of brain-fry at the moment, so I thought I would pass along something that my friend Brian, the Air Force Vet, sent to me. I have no idea if it’s a true story (I couldn’t find it on Snopes), but even if isn’t true, it’s pretty funny. Here ’tis:

DEALING WITH TELEMARKETERS

The phone rang as I was sitting down to my evening meal, and as I answered it I was greeted with “Is this Karl Brummer”. Because that didn’t sound anything like my name, I asked who is calling. The telemarketer said he was with The Rubber Band Powered Freezer Company or something like that. Then I asked him if he knew Karl personally and why was he calling this number. I then said, off to the side, “get some pictures of the body at various angles and the blood smears”. I then turned back to the phone and advised the caller that he had entered a murder scene and must stay on the line, because we had already traced this call, and he would be receiving a summons to testify in this murder case.

I questioned the caller at great length as to his name, address, phone number at home, at work, who he worked for, how he knew the dead guy and could he prove where he had been about one hour before he made this call. The telemarketer was getting very concerned and his answers were given in a shaky voice. I then told him we had located his position and the police were entering the building to take him into custody. At that point I heard the phone fall and the scurrying of his running away.

My wife asked me as I returned to our table why I had tears streaming down my face and so help me, I couldn’t tell her for about fifteen minutes. My meal was cold, but it was the best meal in a long, long time.