I worked really late. I ate really late. I sat down at the computer really late, and, even then, I had some non-blogging stuff to work on. Know what this is? kkkkkkkkkk kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk kkkkkkkkkkkkkk

Yep. It’ me nodding off at the keyboard.

Maybe later. We’ll see.

“Johnny in the Sky with Diamonds” must be one of the cuts on this album.

Earlier today I began a post, but I put it on hold in order to take a shot at fiddling with my template. For most of you, what I was trying to do (insert a working button over there on the left) would be a no-brainer. However, for me, it is a major, nerve shattering undertaking. Here’s how Jimbo, the techno-illiterate, approaches such things.

First, I created a copy of the current version of Mr. Template. I printed it, and then tucked the electronic copy safely away in a Word File as a cyber-life preserver. I then took the printed version and planned my moves with the care of a battlefield commander, which included trying to figure out what “div” and “div class side” means. Relying on some HTML information gleaned from the web, I carefully created the code that I was certain would produce the desired result. I wrote the Jimbo Code into a separate Word document. I’m thinking, at this point, my shit is clean.

After staring at the code for a while and comparing it with other examples of similar code in Mr. Template, I was satisfied that I had it right. I took a deep breath and copied my HTML masterpiece into the template.

Of course it didn’t work. What I saw on the site was my code all highlighted as if it were a link. No button. Time to regroup.

I fooled with it a bit more and finally got the button to appear, but the button was not clickable. More regrouping.

After a few more tries, I was faced with the obvious signs of my inadequacy, namely that damned symbol for an image that failed to load. I was running out of time, as I had to leave to hang with the Usual Suspects, so I tried deleting everything I had added.

No good. The site still displayed the failed image icon — public proof of my incompetence. Now, completely out of patience (and out of time), I decided to delete the entire template and paste in the copy of Mr. Template that I had saved earlier. I did that, and when I clicked on “view your site,” I got a blank screen. HOLY CRAP!!!!! This was my worst nightmare.

I tried “rebuilding” my main index. Still a white screen. Oh shit.

I then “rebuilt” the entire site. I was on the edge of my seat while everything slowly “rebuilt.” Fortunately, that seemed to get me back to where I was before I started diddling with the template.

I think I know what I may have done wrong, but it will take a day or so for me to have the nerve and the time to screw around again with Mr. Template.

For those of you who make major changes to your sites with the ease of changing socks, I can only quote Bobby Baccala on the Sopranos when he told Uncle Junior, “I am in ‘ore’ of you.”

TL Hines brings us another installment in the Dark Horse Dialogues series, in which he interviews presidential candidates who are, to say the least, long shots. Check out the interview with Darren Karr, a resident of Oregon, the Head of Party X, and candidate for the presidency.

Hmmmm….Oregon…..Maybe Cousin Jack will hop off the Kerry Bandwagon to vote for an Oregonian.

I shamelessly lifted this image from Trying to Grok, where Sarah has proudly displayed it on the right sidebar of her site. I hadn’t seen one of these in years.

The symbol was very popular in World War II, when it was displayed in the window of virtually every home that had a family member in service. Some windows would bear two, three or four stars. The blue star was exchanged for a gold one if a family member died in service (hence, the organization of “Gold Star Mothers”).

Unbeknownst to me, my mother put such a sign in our front window the day I left to report to the Army, and she did not take it down until I returned home for good. I had forgotten that she had put the sign up, and I recall being flooded with emotion when, upon my return, she kissed me on the cheek, walked into the living room and took the sign down.

I like the idea, and I wish that everyone with a family member in service would put up the sign. That way we would more easily know who the people are who are deserving of an extra helping of respect and admiration.

If you…

1. …owned a restaurant, what kind of food would you serve?
Subs, Italian hot dogs, excellent burgers. Seafood and stuff like goose liver are out.

2. …owned a small store, what kind of merchandise would you sell?
Quality booze.

3. …wrote a book, what genre would it be?
It would probably be a half-assed novel about a Drill Sergeant who teaches law. Who knows?

4. …ran a school, what would you teach?
I’d like to teach law. Torts, contracts, business law, and evidence would be fun. Failing that, I would like to teach big money executives to write a simple gott-damned sentence.

5. …recorded an album, what kind of music would be on it?
Songs my dad sang and songs I’ve performed over the years,

Aren’t you glad it wasn’t the Friday TEN?

Technorati has gone mad. It is counting links from this site WTF???

The Blogosphere Ecosystem is equally nuts. It reports that this site has zero links, and it lists PRS somewhere considerably below pond scum.

I’ve got really great hair (and all real teeth, if teeth with crowns count), so I figure it must be something I said.

Yawn.

Velociman has a bit of a case of the ass with the Amish, and we all know that he does not take kindly to being overbilled, which is the kissin’ cousin to being shortchanged.

I don’t know about you, but I sure miss mtpolitics.

Eric, the Straight White Guy, is playing guitar with his friend tonight instead of blogging. Color me envious.

Topdawg is thinking of redecorating. I sort of like it the way it is. In any event, please no more mondo red.

Jen will remain a blonde, if she can find the time.

Wonkette reports on the campaign contributions made by various cast members of the “West Wing.” No surprises there.

Oh, yeah. I went to the dentist today. I need another crown, dammit.

That’s all, y’all.

I like certain German words, sometimes because they are really literal, and other times because they sound, well, funny.

Bagpipe (In honor of St. Pat’s) = Der Dudelsack

Bra = Der Buestenhalter (One wonders why “bra” is masculine [“der”])

Vacuum cleaner = Der Staubsauger (dust sucker – bingo!)

Chewing gum = Der Kaugummi (makes one not want to chew it)

Pork = Das Schweinefleisch (pig meat – Yep, that says it.)

Airplane = Das Flugzeug (flight thing)

Cigarette lighter = Das Feuerzeug (fire thing)

Drum = Das Schlagzeug (beat thing)

Sometimes they fool around the names of people and television programs:

Laurel and Hardy = Dick und Doff (Fat and Stupid)

The Marlo Thomas Television Show, called “That Girl” = “Suess Aber Ein Bisschen Verrueckt” (Sweet but a Little Crazy)

Das ist alles.

Not to worry. There will not be a quiz. We’ll have beer instead.