I wanna know who was that guy who must have sneaked up on me and knocked me unconscious several hours ago when I sat down in the recliner “for a few minutes” to watch the end of Dateline NBC? As a result I did not find out whether the author who was charged with murdering his wife with a fireplace tool was convicted.

It was a long week.

This morning I awoke to a “serious” discussion on the radio about what President Bush’s dental records did and did not prove about what the man did for a handful of weekends in 1972.

On the way to work, in an effort to avoid the commercials that all stations seemed to be playing as the same time, I switched on NPR (What was I thinking?), where I was treated to a series of callers doing variations on the “Bush lied, people died” theme.

Then, this afternoon, I learned about the Kerry – intern allegation, which will likely knock the President’s teeth and Janet’s tit off the front pages for a while.

As Sarah would say, “It’s just too much to Grok.”

I think we need to take a collective deep breath, get our shit together, and watch our backs, for I fear we have again become sitting ducks or, worse yet, we are in the process of self-destructing.

I’m gonna have a drink.

When I find myself regularly searching through my bookmarks or my archives for a site I referred to previously, it is time to make additions to the blogroll. With that, I would like to welcome the following sites to the ol’ blogroll:

Mostly Cajun, All American and Opinionated. The author, Dale, is an interesting guy and a straight shooter, literally (a regular at a local shooting range) and figuratively. He knows how to pilot a sailboat and drive a tank, which I think is pretty cool. Maybe there are others who enjoy both skills, but I haven’t run into any of them. He also spent some time as a drill sergeant, which means that he has most likely developed the fine art of scaring the dogshit out of raw-croots, and in the process, teaching them the skills they need to stay alive.

Dale blogs from southwest Louisiana, and he is most definitely opinionated. So, all things considered, the title of his blog fits him like a glove. I wonder if he listens to The Radiators (fish head music) and Dr. John, a couple excellent Louisiana exports.

TL Hines. The author is a Montana blogger and has a great site with varied and well-written content. The first installment of his Dark Horse Dialogues (interviews with Dark Horse presidential candidates) was a home run. Good stuff there.

Thoughts From the Middle of Nowhere (Sarpy Sam). You might ask what the heck a Jersey native, who doesn’t know shit from Shinola about cows, doing reading a blog authored by a Montana cattle rancher. The truth is that I have always been impressed with people who know a whole lot about things that I don’t know anything about. And, let me tell you. Cattle ranching and the life of a cattle rancher are things I definitely know nothing about, so for me, the site is a natural. But don’t get the idea that the blog is “All Cows All the Time,” because Sarpy Sam, the author, also has an interesting take on many things that don’t say “moo.”

A few days ago, Two Nervous Dogs asked the following question: “Am I the only person who still feels like it’s 6AM EST on September 11, 2001, and that we’d better watch our backs and stop arguing about trivial shit?”

Today, Two Nervous Dogs provides a bit of doggerel (no pun intended – well, maybe just a bit) that deals with the same issue.

Go read.

Paulie is one of my friends from the Legion Post. He served four years in the Navy as a Tin Can Sailor and then spent the next fifteen years or so in the Army National Guard, retiring as a Sergeant First Class (three stripes up and two down, for the non-Army folks).

He’s one of our volunteer bartenders, but he has difficulty making drinks any more complicated than popping the top on a longneck “Bud” (his favorite libation). Hell, we have to walk him through the steps of making a “scotch and soda.” That’s OK though, because his antics, his rapid fire wisecracks and his boundless sense of humor more than makes up for any difficulty he has making drinks that have more than one ingredient.

Paulie tells great stories, and he becomes very animated in the process. Just last Sunday, he was telling me a story, at his customary machine gun speed, when he said, “So, the guy worked for the government. You know. He worked for that agency that does the mortgages – Fanny Farmer.”

When I said, “Paulie, you horse’s ass. It’s not Fanny Farmer. They make f***ing candy. It’s Fannie Mae,” we all laughed hysterically, Paulie laughing the loudest.

That brought to mind a similar incident that took place a year or so ago. Paulie was criticizing one of the guys who claimed to know what someone (possibly a politician) had planned with regard to a particular issue. Paulie, again at lightening speed, said of the guy, “This guy thinks he’s some kind of mind reader.” Turning to the guy, he said, “How the hell do you know what’s gonna happen? You got ESPN or some shit?” As I recall, that laugh lasted a full five minutes and sent at least one guy to the bathroom.

He’s a great guy. I feel fortunate to be his friend.

Here’s the picture.

Update: Here’s the Bumper Sticker

Bumper Sticker shamlessly lifted from Tasty Manatees.

If I were a one of leaders of the Bad Guys (i.e. the Islamic fundamentalist lunatics whose sole goal in life is to kill as many Americans as possible), I would have already decided to strike America again. But, when?

I would not be inclined to do it now, because the current President will strike back, and he will not run to the United Nations with a bloodied American flag in his hand seeking permission to do so, nor will he wring his hands worrying about with the world might think. No, if I were one of the leaders of the Bad Guys I think I would be inclined to wait and see if the current Commander in Chief is brought down by those are currently suggesting that they would do exactly that.

So, for me (not being a Bad Guy), the issue is this: When we are attacked again, do I want George Bush to be the Commander in Chief, or do I want John Kerry or John Edwards, or any of the other democrats seeking the presidency, to occupy that position?

I’m going with President Bush.

Like others, including Cousin Jack (an Edwards guy), I took the Presidential Match Test. It purports to match one’s position on issues to the positions of the various candidates on the same issues. One can limit the results to one party (presumably this option is for the folks who would vote for Satan over President Bush), or one can see the results for both parties, which means at this stage of the game, including President Bush in the results. Third party candidates will be added later.

Here are my results:

Bush – 100%
Edwards – 69%
Kerry – 64%
Clark – 63%
Dean – 55%
Sharpton – 42%
Kuchinich – 41%

The results didn’t surprise me, with the exception of those for Sharpton and Kuchinich. I believe that I might be able to agree with those two guys on the time of day, but that’s about it.

MR DUX.

MR KNOTT.

OSAR. CM WANGS?

LIB! MR DUX.

FUNEX?

SIFX.

FUNEM?

SIFM.

OKIFMNX.

If no one seems to know what the above means, I’ll provide a clue, or maybe even the answer, later. However, right now, I am sorta beat. Driving to work in heavy freezing rain and sleet and driving home in the dark with even heavier rain (and flooding all over the place from the melting snow) was more than just a little awful. I may decide to chill tonight.

Then again, maybe not. Stay tuned.

Update: Dale, of “mostly cajun, all american, and opinionated,” nailed it. Nice going.

By the way, I recommend that you hop over to Dale’s blog to read his his story about sailing his newly purchased, previously owned sailboat from Clear Lake, Texas to Southwest Louisiana (You many have to scroll a bit). I got a particular kick out of the description of the difficulties he and his buddy encountered in using the “head” on this vessel while it pitched in six-foot seas — Think “Tupperware bowl.”

I also see that Cousin Jack has posted a similar conversation in the Comments. I know the answer, but let’s see if anyone else gets it.