Do those 100+ degree temperatures have you down? Do you constantly feel parched? Are you losing your electrolytes as if you were a human colander? Do you crave a no-calorie, delicious drink that is 100% natural and good for your digestive tract?

I thought so.

Your troubles are over. Have yourself a tall drink of this.

Thanks to Barbara for the link.

As you can see, the Logo is up, no thanks to me, the technodummy.

The thanks go to the following people:

Thanks to TJ for her thoughtfulness and originality in getting me a logo for father’s day.

Thanks to Jennifer Johnson and her company onMessage Graphic Design for the design.

A very, very special thank you to Kathy from On the Third Hand. Kathy read my post wherein I vented my frustration at having a logo, but not being able to figure out to get it on the page. She sent me an e-mail and graciously offered her HTML fluency to keep me from pulling out my hair (and great hair it is) and wishing carbuncles on the person who invented HTML. She’s quite a person.

From time to time I receive e-mails asking about Sgt. Steele. I received another one tonight wanting to know whether there would be another installment in the ongoing saga of the law professor with the jump boots and the gott-damned perfect gig line.

I figured that I had better respond to tonight’s e-mail because it came from the person who, two months ago, left me speechless when he told me that his name is also John “Jack” Steele, and that, like the fictional character, he is an adjunct professor of law and a graduate of Georgetown Law School.

I let him know, and I thought I would let you know that the next installment is half on the screen and half in my head. My guess is that the next chapter, which picks up exactly where the previous one left off, is a rainy weekend or two away.

Dismissed!

He’s: (a) Clinton’s former Secretary of Labor, and (b) an aggravating little bastard.

That’s that.

Another Bike Suggestion for Spoons.

If the 400 mph crotch rocket I suggested a couple days ago is too pricey or too hard to handle, this one should be a snap to drive, even with its 320 horsepower Chevy V8 engine. However, if neither of those is acceptable, there is always this.

via Attu Sees All

“The number you have reached has been changed. The new number is …” How many times have you heard that message? It turns out that the voice you (and approximately 22 million other people per day) heard belonged to Jane Barbe. She died yesterday at age 74. Ms. Barbe had been recording messages for phone companies around the country for more than 40 years. Pretty amazing.

I wonder if Ms. Barbe ever met AOL’s “You’ve got mail” guy, maybe at some kind of convention of people who make recorded messages heard by gazillions of people every day.

Link via My So-Called Blog

TJ at Twisty asked herself this question and identified the five living and five deceased celebrities she chose.

One of the five deceased celebrities she chose was “grandma.” She conceded that “grandma” was probably only a celebrity to her, but that she “would love to watch her smoke, slug back a brew and listen to her sassy, colorful commentary about the afterlife.” I would love to have a beer with her too, although I always called her “mom.”

TJ made my heart smile.

Several people, all of whom used to be friends, are parties to a New Jersey lawsuit over the ownership of a $25 million lottery ticket. It seems that the fellow who regularly collected a couple bucks each week from a group of co-workers (these days he is called “defendant”) is being sued by his co-workers who claim that he passed off the winning ticket to a former neighbor (he also is known as “defendant”) and shared the winnings with him.

Not surprisingly, the facts are hotly disputed, and no one’s story seems perfect. However, for what it’s worth, the Lottery’s Deputy Director believes the former neighbor who says he has no relationship with the office pool guy, and he doesn’t know anything about any office lottery pool. A Superior Court judge will have to sort it all out.

The moral of the story is that if you take people’s money for a lottery pool, after you buy the tickets, run – don’t walk – to a photocopy machine, make copies and see that everyone in the pool gets copy of the tickets you bought for the pool. This is particularly true if you also buy your own tickets. Cover your ass, because when $25 million is involved, lawyers are easy to find.

It’s not bad enough that New Jersey has what the DOT considers to be lousy roads, and that it leads the nation in car thefts, now we learn via DynamoBuzz, another Jersey Blogger, that we pay the highest auto insurance premiums in the nation. I have a feeling that these three things go together.

Would somebody please call Tony Soprano to get this straightened out. Oh, I forgot. He’s vacationing with the governor.

It’s a bitch when you’ve written something, and you take a look at the several hundred words on the screen that are supposed to be the finished product, and there’s no denying it. It stinks. I just created such a beast. I tinkered with it for a few minutes and finally came to the conclusion that it was just plain lousy. It seemed like a good idea a few hours ago as it began to take shape in my head. Maybe it was even a great idea, but ideas aren’t worth spit if you cannot bring them to life with words.

I closed the document, and the pop-up message taunted me: “Do you want to save the changes you made to Document 1?” No thanks. A blank screen is far more interesting.

Maybe my literary beer fart was the result of having seen a good bit of a perfectly idiotic television show called “Dog Eat Dog.” Now there’s a real stinker. Buff contestants, stupid stunts and a hostess with a body to kill for and the brains of a piss clam.

I’m sure of it. That damned fool television show turned my brains to shit.

I hope it’s only temporary.