February 26, 2009

Blinking and Texting.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 8:24 pm


A couple nights ago, Barack Obama addressed Congress. Sitting behind him were Vice President Joe Biden and the SPEAKER in the House, Nancy Pelosi. While Ms. Pelosi gave the impression that she was paying close attention to the proclamations from the podium, she was actually texting Hillary Clinton in the audience. This is not the first time they have done this, but this time PRS Operatives managed to intercept the cellular transmissions:

Nancy: Hey Hilly! I c u out there. How was China?

Hillary: Sucked, big time. I’m exhausted. Did u know that u can’t get a decent eggroll in that shithole?

Nancy: LOL Wait… gotta stand and clap.

Hillary: This is soooooooo boring, plus all this getting up and down is killing my piles.

Nancy: Piles? LOL! Barney Frank was complaining about his piles this morning. Said it screwed up his weekend!

Hillary: LOL How can u sit next to that dickhead Biden w/o puking?

Nancy: U have no idea what a douchebag he is. Right now I don’t know if he’s watching me text or staring at my tits.

Hillary: I’m thinking tits.

Nancy: LOL Wait… gotta stand and clap again.

Hillary: Ugh. The Preparation H hasn’t kicked in yet.

Nancy: Speaking of asses, BHO has a really cute one. I think he just shot me a special wiggle.

Hillary: Speaking of asses, BHO can kiss mine. This job sux. 2morrow gotta be on a plane to Madagascar for a tapioca festival or some shit.

Nancy: Don’t know where Madagascar is. LOL!

Hillary: Me either. LOL!

Nancy: Wait… gotta stand a clap again

Hillary: Damn. This shit is killing me, my ass is killing me and I’m friggin beat.

Nancy: Need a little pick-me-up?

Hillary: Pope Catholic?

Nancy: After this shit is over, meet me at Rangel’s office. The guys in his district get him the best shit.

Hillary: Expensive?

Nancy: Who gives a shit? I got a trillion bucks to play with. LOL!!!


  1. OY! This had the dichotomous distinction of being both incredibly sad and profoundly depressing at the same time.

    Comment by Erica — February 26, 2009 @ 8:48 pm

  2. I am a douche. I meant incredibly funny and profoundly depressing.

    Comment by Erica — February 26, 2009 @ 8:49 pm

  3. A trillion bucks to play with. LOL indeed.

    Comment by Suzette — February 26, 2009 @ 9:06 pm

  4. Jimbo, you are SO screwed if you have anything to do with the State Department the next few years…

    Comment by Dave Merriman — February 26, 2009 @ 9:43 pm

  5. Those PRS operatives get all the best stuff. I love it.

    Comment by Teresa — February 27, 2009 @ 12:18 am

  6. I don’t know… but this one may be the best one yet, in my opinion. I think I’ve said that before. Holy crap.

    Comment by Bou — February 27, 2009 @ 12:49 am

  7. ROFLMAO!!!!

    PRS rulz!

    Comment by Mr. Bingley — February 27, 2009 @ 8:58 am

  8. Tapioca Festival in Madagascar, Indonesian variety show.

    Comment by dogette — February 27, 2009 @ 9:07 am

  9. The thought of either of these two hags in a sexual way is enough to make me fall off the wagon or stick my .38 S&W in my pie hole and pull the trigger.

    Comment by Hoot Gibson — February 27, 2009 @ 3:10 pm

  10. You are a talented writer. Could Hollywood be calling?

    Comment by Kevin — February 27, 2009 @ 8:25 pm

  11. I have it on good information your passport has been revoked, and you are moving up the list for re-education. Your still way behind some guy named Vman.

    Comment by James Old GUy — February 27, 2009 @ 9:40 pm

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