March 21, 2008

Jimbo’s Deli.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 5:40 pm

Deli Sandwich.jpgIt has been quite some time since Jimbo’s Deli updated its menu of specialty, celebrity-named sandwiches. We offer here an alternate version of the Ted Kennedy and six brand new entries. Without further ado, they are as follows:

The Ted Kennedy 2
A whopping pound of pan-seared sperm whale blubber served with an entire loaf of spongy white bread.

The Spitzer
Five-Diamond, well seasoned young tuna on sourdough bread. (Full payment in advance required)

The McGreevey
Two hot dogs in one soft taco. (Served with special TGIF relish)

The Sharpton
Hog jowls (greasy, like you like ‘em) topped with baloney and served on stale bread.

The McCain
Nothing but a heaping portion of freshly picked lettuce served on thick crusted white bread.

The Jeremiah Wright
Piles of turkey (no Goddamned white meat!) served on cornbread.

The Obama
One slice of black bread and one slice of white bread with nothing inside.


  1. Sheer genius, Jim. Sheer genius.

    Comment by Craig — March 21, 2008 @ 6:53 pm

  2. I don’t suppose I should bother asking if any of these fine delicacies are under rabbinic supervision, though, I must confess, The Spitzer sounds quite delectable, and would eat it either way.


    Comment by Erica — March 21, 2008 @ 6:58 pm

  3. What about the Hillary?

    Comment by Kevin — March 21, 2008 @ 7:26 pm

  4. That’s some funny s**t!

    Comment by Doug Ross — March 21, 2008 @ 7:36 pm

  5. How ’bout “The Corzine”? You get an empty plate for which you pay a monthly fee of $4.99 for life.

    Comment by joated — March 21, 2008 @ 7:49 pm

  6. The Hillary:

    Aged Tuna and Cottage Cheese on Sourdough.

    With a pickle spear on the side.

    Comment by Craig — March 21, 2008 @ 7:51 pm

  7. Oh, and I should mention that the pickle spear does NOT touch the sandwich.

    It just doesn’t.

    Comment by Craig — March 21, 2008 @ 7:52 pm

  8. ROFLMAO. It’s all so perfect.

    Comment by dogette — March 21, 2008 @ 8:20 pm

  9. holy crap hahaha those are some great ideas. Jim, ya gotta update the menu…

    Comment by Mike R. — March 21, 2008 @ 8:29 pm

  10. That is fresh lettuce picked by undocumented immigrants….

    Your hair looks funny on dat bovine Jimbo….

    Comment by Brian "Proud to be a Veteran" — March 21, 2008 @ 8:44 pm

  11. You forgot those on a lite diet who only eat cereal……Spitzer`s original “Prostituties” add Skim milk & they do not snap,cracle & pop , they just lay there & bang!

    Comment by dudley1 — March 21, 2008 @ 10:22 pm

  12. OMG – excellent… especially the McGreevy… ROFLMAO.

    Comment by Teresa — March 22, 2008 @ 12:45 am

  13. WoooWeeee! Solid lunch-time GOLD! I think the Hillary by Craig should be added!

    Comment by JihadGene — March 22, 2008 @ 12:29 pm

  14. Heh. You said “sperm.”

    Comment by Elisson — March 22, 2008 @ 4:15 pm

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