I am still afflicted with vacation lag and have yet to regain my blogging groove. Maybe itâ€™s because I have managed to avoid listening to, watching or reading much of any news. While in Florida, I did hear a news blurb about Ted Kennedyâ€™s illness. Iâ€™m feeling compassionate today (probably the lingering effects copious amounts of chocolate vodka over the previous week), so since I have nothing nice to say about Senator Kennedy, I shall say nothing.
I also heard that Hillary gorilla stomped Barack _______ Obamaâ€™s ass in Kentucky but that Barack _______ Obama won rather handily in Oregon. No surprises in either case. Hillary is staying in. Sweet. Iâ€™d love to hear what each has to say about the other in private.
Oh, and lest you think I worry needlessly about alligators, during the week I was in Florida, some sorry ass damned near lost his arm to one of those pre-historic monsters. I believe that people who live near fresh water in Florida are a bit nutso. Case in point. A perfectly normal looking and sounding woman bartender told me, â€œOh yeah, we have one [a farookinâ€™ gator] that lives in the lagoon behind my house. We just crack open the door to check the yard before we go outside. Itâ€™s not a problem.â€ Nutso.
The same bartender told me that, in her neighborhood, wild boars (those ugly bastards with the tusks) are a problem. Wild boars? Nutso.
Oh, and there was a headline in the local paper (I read it in one of those news boxes while doing a ground pound) that said that coyotes are gobbling up peopleâ€™s dogs (presumably small dogs) in Southwest Florida. Nutso.
So, in Florida the peeps deal with alligators, wild boars and dog-eating coyotes. Nutso, nutso, nutso, I tell ya.
Yo, Jimbo. The title of this post is â€œCorporal Wood Sealer,â€ and youâ€™ve written about goofy shit that has nothing to do with corporals or wood sealer. WTF?â€
OK, hereâ€™s what I intended to say about three-hundred and twenty five words ago.
I had no idea that the joy and Macht I experienced as Captain Power Wash would be followed by the frankly pedestrian task of smearing wood sealer on the deck. No one can ever be â€œCaptain Wood Sealer.â€ Itâ€™s just not possible, given the nature of the task. Hell, itâ€™s not even like painting, because with painting, when you are all done, the thing you painted looks different than it did before you painted it. With wood sealer, you canâ€™t appreciate the fruits of your labor until the next rain, and only then can you marvel at the beads of water on the wood. â€œLook Myrtle! Check out them beads! Get the camera!â€
I have nothing else to say at the moment.