Death is Not an Option II.
Hey, Gang. It’s time to play “Death is Not an Option†again. Remember, the rules are you must choose one of the options provided, and keep in mind that death is not an option.
Would you rather:
(a) Be Mr. Pelosi; or
(b) Be Mr. Bobbit?
Remember, death is not an option.
(a) Watch a non-stop DVD of an entire year’s worth of Keith Olbermann’s “Special Commentariesâ€; or
(b) Passionately mug it up with Joy Behar?
Remember, death is not an option.
(a) Listen to Yoko Ono’s “Greatest Hits†repeated non-stop for 72 hours; or
(b) Have one of your ears bitten off by a rabid raccoon?
Remember, death is not an option.
(a) Watch Barbra Streisand pole dance naked; or
(b) Pour gasoline on your stindeens and light them on fire?
Remember, death is not an option.
(a) Spend an evening with Bill Maher; or
(b) Have a ten penny nail driven into your forehead?
Remember, death is not an option.
(a) Work as a New York Times reporter; or
(b) Shovel elephant shit at the circus?
Remember, death is not an option.
I choose comatose.
It’s not death!
Comment by Dave Merriman — October 21, 2009 @ 9:28 pm
This game is just cruel. I’m reporting you to … someplace.
Comment by dogette — October 21, 2009 @ 10:34 pm
B for all of them.
And let me add that I find the Streisand ideas wrong on sooooo many levels.
Comment by Mark — October 22, 2009 @ 3:54 am
B on all. But I do feel rather ill. The rabies, you know. So maybe death WILL be an option.
Comment by Laura — October 22, 2009 @ 6:36 am
I don’t have stindeens, so gouging my eyes out has to be the preferred option on BS. It is, anyway, for whatever reason. Make a freight train take a dirt road.
Comment by Joan of Argghh! — October 22, 2009 @ 11:07 am
B all the way ….at least there is still hope things could get better!
Comment by dudley1 — October 22, 2009 @ 2:07 pm
Oy …!
“Listen to Yoko Ono’s “Greatest Hits†repeated non-stop for 72 hours”, this is not forbidden by the Red Cross or something like that? You know, barbaric torture …
Saludos from Brazil!
Comment by Maria Edi — October 22, 2009 @ 2:19 pm
My brain has come to a complete halt reading these. Please reboot.
Comment by Teresa — October 22, 2009 @ 3:33 pm
I’d like to buy a vowel…
Comment by gregor — October 22, 2009 @ 7:12 pm
Would you rather:
(a) Be Mr. Pelosi; I CHOOSE PELOSI because I could stuff a sock in her mouth and lock her in the closet.
(b) Be Mr. Bobbit?
Remember, death is not an option.
(a) Watch a non-stop DVD of an entire year’s worth of Keith Olbermann’s “Special Commentariesâ€; The DVD could be “watched” while I’m handling my email and other stuff.
(b) Passionately mug it up with Joy Behar?
Remember, death is not an option.
(a) Listen to Yoko Ono’s “Greatest Hits†repeated non-stop for 72 hours; I’d listen to Yoyo Nono because I’ve learned how to tune out the unpleasant. I’m mostly successful, too.
(b) Have one of your ears bitten off by a rabid raccoon?
Remember, death is not an option.
(a) Watch Barbra Streisand pole dance naked; I’d take this option and spend the time critiquing her every move, every dimple, and eventually she’d get pissed at me and stomp out of the room.
(b) Pour gasoline on your stindeens and light them on fire?
Remember, death is not an option.
(a) Spend an evening with Bill Maher; I’d spend the evening with Bill Maher. I’d find a cheap woman willing to do anything and watch them go at it. He’d have a mouthful and talk would be unnecessary.
(b) Have a ten penny nail driven into your forehead?
Remember, death is not an option.
(a) Work as a New York Times reporter; or
(b) Shovel elephant shit at the circus? I’d shovel the shit because I love animals and you know what? I love elephants. Plus, I could then train the elephants to stomp out each and every person on this list I never wanted to hear a peep from again. I’m special that way.
Comment by Da Goddess — October 23, 2009 @ 3:14 am
Watch Babs? This is a trick question. Everyone knows that she doesn’t let people (at least normal people) look at her.
Comment by Dan — October 23, 2009 @ 9:35 am
I’m sitting here enjoying a dish of ice cream and you post this? You cruel bastard!
Comment by maxx — October 23, 2009 @ 9:52 pm