December 28, 2009

Max Baucus’s Answering Machine.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 3:42 pm

answering-maching1Following his ethanol-powered speech on the Senate floor about “Healthcare,” Senator Max Baucus, the Distinguished Shitfaced Gentleman from Montana, received numerous phone messages. PRS Operatives have again employed their proprietary technical skills to obtain access to the senator’s answering machine. Here is a sample of what they heard:

Max, Barney Fwank here. Man, that speech sent a tingle down my leg. You weally spoke truth to power. I’d like to invite you over to my place for drinks and whatever. I’ll whip up a gallon or so of cosmos and break out some awesome oils and a new box of poppers. I promise, it will be awesome. Give me a call.

Hi, I saw your speech. My name is Bill, from the local A.A. group. Dude, I think you need to come to a meeting. Call me.

Max, it’s Keith Olbermann. That was a fabulous speech. I’d like to buy a case of whatever it was you drank. It would really jazz up my already-excellent special commentaries. Phone or email will be fine. Good night and good luck.

Mr. Baucus, this is Jack, the bartender. Man, you weren’t kidding when you said after your tenth drink that you were going into the Senate chamber and kick some ass. That was awesome. I have your regular seat saved. Oh, and thanks for the fifty.

Senator, it’s Gino the dry cleaner speaking. I’m sorry, but I can’t get the puke stains off your suits any more. You’re either going to have to get new suits or a new dry cleaner. You can pick up your soiled suits during regular business hours. I have six of them.


  1. The local CBS affiliate actually did a story on this, and even showed a little bit of the YouTube vid. Maybe, hopefully, with any luck at all, voters will finally be tired enough of his jackassery to vote the weasel out of office.

    I understand his laundry service called, too – they’re tired of trying to deal with his yellow skivvies from his constantly pulling out the tail of his shirt and whizzing in his pants…

    Comment by Dave Merriman — December 28, 2009 @ 10:49 pm

  2. Spot on! My mother-in-law graduated from Helena High School with POS (With Peanuts!) and has nothing good to say about him. He showed up at the 50th high school reunion this summer for a brief moment (the memorial) but refused to join the “common folk” lest he be tarred and feathered! My MIL says that he hasn’t lived in Helena for years and, therefore, doesn’t have a real clue about what Montana citizens want for their state. That they continue to vote for this scum and his ilk (like johnny-cat testor) is utterly beyond my comprehension!

    Comment by Lee — December 29, 2009 @ 12:49 am

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