December 30, 2009


Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 9:47 pm

Something is going on.

I spent a couple hours in Lowe’s today, and I really didn’t mind. It used to be that five minutes in Lowe’s was five minutes too many. Could it be a retirement thing?

I used to be able to wear a tee shirt and shorts in the house all winter long, but now I sport a thermal shirt and sweat pants. Could that also be a retirement (getting old) thing? Then again, losing sixty pounds (on purpose) might have something to do with it.

If I find myself watching daytime television, I hope one of you will be kind enough to come to the House by the Parkway and shoot me.

That is all.


  1. I catch you watching daytime tv, I’ll personally kick your ass.

    BTW I noticed that NJ’s 10th congressional district is represented by Donald Payne (in my ass). Why don’t you run as his opposition?? You can’t use the “don’t have the time” excuse now. Come on, you know you want to and you’d have some of the best campaign advisers via this site. I’m sure we could find enough campaign donors. Also, think of the election night party! That alone would be worth it.

    Comment by Dan — December 30, 2009 @ 10:07 pm

  2. Jesus Christ himself couldn’t beat Donald Payne in this Gerrymandered district.


    Comment by Jim — December 30, 2009 @ 10:16 pm

  3. Daytime TV isn’t so bad, as long as you don’t get hooked on the soaps…

    Comment by Dave Merriman — December 30, 2009 @ 11:09 pm

  4. You lost 60 pounds?! Pictures please…

    Comment by Bou — December 30, 2009 @ 11:20 pm

  5. I will stab you.

    Comment by Laura — December 30, 2009 @ 11:28 pm

  6. You’ll be an expert on the “judge” shows within a month and addicted to soaps within three. There is no escape.

    Comment by Ernie Nilsen — December 31, 2009 @ 12:15 am

  7. Considering where you live you could make arrangements with one of the Goodfellas for a Senility Contract 😉

    Comment by Dan Kauffman — December 31, 2009 @ 1:01 am

  8. When my father retired, he became a fan of Days of Our Lives.

    Comment by Kevin — December 31, 2009 @ 2:18 am

  9. I’m never retiring… because I am a Mother and we never get out for good behavior. 🙂

    As for shooting you… I don’t even know you. (And you wouldn’t want me to shoot at you anyway. You’d probably end up with a bullet in your posterior and then where would you be?)

    Comment by Lemon Stand — December 31, 2009 @ 2:58 am

  10. I think you should run for office anyway. Even if you get stomped, so what? You are eminently well-qualified and well-liked and you know we’d all have helpful suggestions and I’ll write your campaign blurbs and make you a website. I’ll let you put a huge ugly sign in my yard. I bet other people would, too. People who, you know, actually live in your state.

    Comment by dogette — December 31, 2009 @ 6:47 am

  11. jim, i want you to be my campaign manager when i run against menendez in 2012.

    Comment by Mr. Bingley — December 31, 2009 @ 8:51 am

  12. You have some funny stuff going on here…

    OK, my Dad retired at… 55? Since then he got a woodshop and took up woodworking. He makes some amazing things that I cherish and everyone loves. He took up Genealogy and has traced my Mom’s family to the Mayflower, his family to the Jamestown Society, and has found scads of family members that took part in the Revolutionary War. The connections to Charlemagne were a dead end. He took up playing the bagpipes (he’s a master), the fiddle, and plays around with the trombone. He became an expert in computer systems and his office could launch the space shuttle. He just became a Master Gardener and my Mom thinks she will find him a future wife there for when she dies. (That whole thing is a daggum funny post in itself.) Dang… there is more… he plays his instruments a Hospice, adopted a section of Highway for clean up and helped build homes for Habitat for Humanity.

    A rolling stone gathers no moss. The world is your oyster, Jimbo… now you get to do what YOU want!

    Comment by Bou — December 31, 2009 @ 12:19 pm

  13. Somehow I can’t connect the word “bagpipes” with “hospice”!

    (and I used to play the ‘pipes, mind you)

    Comment by Mr. Bingley — December 31, 2009 @ 1:49 pm

  14. Spend a little more time at Lowe’s and you’ll be able to avoid the daytime shows—even HGTV.

    Comment by joated — December 31, 2009 @ 7:25 pm

  15. Lowes? OMG,, not the power tool section!!!

    Comment by James Old Guy — December 31, 2009 @ 8:21 pm

  16. I’ve been spending time in a Lowe’s. Not because I’m retired, but because I agreed to help my buddy lay 800 feet of 6″ irrigation pipe in the middle of winter.

    Comment by Carl Brannen — January 1, 2010 @ 12:47 am

  17. That cold bullshit is the weight loss. I hate it, but deal by sweaters and pullovers.
    One note of caution. That powder blue, zippered jump suit that old people wear? That’s the give up suit. People only buy that who want to give up and die.

    Comment by Dick — January 2, 2010 @ 12:24 am

  18. Lowe’s isn’t bad – it’s Home Depot that makes me homicidal.

    Comment by moos — January 6, 2010 @ 6:06 pm

RSS feed for comments on this post.

Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.

Powered by WordPress