June 17, 2010

The New, Goofy Washing Machine.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 9:13 pm

When we bought the House by the Parkway (South), we bought a new washing machine. Truth is, there was nothing wrong with the washing machine at the House By The Parkway (North), but “new” seemed to be the watchword of the day. Being a Laundry Guy, I take a special interest in this particular appliance.

When shopping for the machine,, I checked out the front loaders that people seem to like these days, but I didn’t want one. To me, it seemed like a pain in the ass to load and unload. Besides, the first washing machine we had in the fifties was a front loader, so, for me, there was nothing novel or hip about them. I am a top loader kinda guy.

So, we bought a top loader. Here is a cell phone picture.

Note that it has a window in the lid/door, which permits one to actually watch the clothes being washed. This is a good thing for retired folks. Watching the washing machine beats most television. As you can see from this picture, the controls look pretty straightforward, no? Well, don’t be fooled. This thing has all sorts of bells and whistles on it (Gah!) and, like the telephone and DVR, it comes with a farookin’ manual that requires some serious study.

To give you a feel of how this seemingly benign washing machine looks when it is doing its thing, I took a picture with the lights out in the room Admittedly, it is a shitty picture, but you get the idea that this baby is more than just a knob and a button. It looks more like the control panel on the space shuttle.

Check out all those lights. I keep looking for one that tells me if the landing gear is down.

All the blinding lights are not what makes it goofy. Take a look at the inside of the machine (the tub).

What’s missing?

Yes, there is no agitator. WTF? It’s just a bigass tub. You just toss the clothes into the tub, and put the detergent in the dispenser (NOT on the clothes, for chrissakes – according to the manual) and start her up. Then comes the goofy part. In all my other washing machines, the tub fills with water and, once the tub is filled and the clothes are floating around in soapy water, the cycle (wash, rinse, spin blah blah) starts.

Not so with this goofy machine, which works as follows:

Put clothes in tub.

Add detergent to dispenser.

Press “start”

About a cup or so of water (yes, a cup) squirts on the clothes, and then it the tub spins. WTF?

It stops after about ten seconds or so, then it squirts about another cup of on the clothes, and it spins again!

It does this a few more times before it begins to act like a regular washing machine, but even at that, it does some goofy tub gyrations, presumably owing to the lack of an agitator. I’ll be damned if I can figure out how it manages to get clothes clean, but it does.

Then, there is the new dryer, but that’s a story for another day.

Sometimes it’s not easy being a Laundry Guy.


  1. My mom has one of those. Wait until you wash sheets. They wind up in a huge seamless poof in the middle, it’s great when you first see it.

    Comment by LeeAnn — June 17, 2010 @ 10:14 pm

  2. My Mom has this machine and LOVES it. Just an FYI, however, I think you can take your previously washing machine’s knotted clothes and up it 10 Fold. Other than that, it’s a superb wash.

    Comment by Bou — June 17, 2010 @ 10:55 pm

  3. Laundry Guy…The Juju Woman calls me Dish Boy.

    Comment by Yabu — June 18, 2010 @ 9:10 am

  4. I have one of those! well similar mine does not have the window, so I don’t get to see all the goofy activity. My washing machine has a label that claims “quiet series” I find it ironic that a machine which plays music when it is turned on, and again when laundry is done can belong to the “quiet series”. BTW it makes some weird noises that are also not quiet. another new feature to me is that the washer tells you when it needs to be cleaned! Huh? It never occurred to me that a washing machine needs to be cleaned. Yeah read the manual it’s like page 11.

    Comment by Scott — June 18, 2010 @ 12:20 pm

  5. We have one of the front loading HE machines and love it. Uses a lot less water and the clothes come out drier so they spend less time in the dryer.

    Comment by Mr. Bingley — June 18, 2010 @ 2:10 pm

  6. Womens work,,

    Comment by James Old Guy — June 18, 2010 @ 2:23 pm

  7. Mebbe the holes in the bottom of the sorta-agitator are nozzles for a water jet that does the swirling of the clothes? Running it without clothes would let you peek at the “activity” to find out what’s (not) going on…

    Comment by Dave Merriman — June 18, 2010 @ 9:50 pm

  8. Oh, speaking of funny noises, it spools up like a fan on a jet engine. Sounds like its going to frickin’ LAUNCH sometimes!

    Comment by Bou — June 18, 2010 @ 10:35 pm

  9. I believe that if it ain’t noisy, it ain’t working. C’mon!

    Comment by Mike R. — June 19, 2010 @ 9:32 am

  10. I’ve had one for 3 years…Maytag Bravo. It just recently occurred to me that it’s basically a computer. Why…because it now stops randomly and gives me an Error Code – F1. The manual says call for service. Basically, the control panel is going out…kind of like a Mother Board going out on a PC. Shutting off and starting again has been working so until it finally dies for good I’m not calling the Maytag Man.

    Comment by Big Geek Daddy — August 21, 2010 @ 11:34 pm

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