May 25, 2011

A Dispatch From Gatorland.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 10:57 pm

Well, for just about two weeks, I have been frolicking in the sun (lots of sun), eating calorie bombs and keeping my liver in high gear processing adult beverages. I will be returning to the GAHden state in a day or so, so here is a quick wrap-up:

There were two gorilla-stompin’ storms, which, although thankfully brief, served to remind me that being here during a hurricane would be a real stinkeroo. Otherwise, the weather was terrific.

I did not see any alligators, but that isn’t surprising, given that I avoid all fresh water that isn’t chlorinated and surrounded by a sturdy fence. I did, however, see about a gazillion little shits called “skinks” (pictured above). Can’t fool me: those little bastards are nothing but micro-gators. Hate ‘em.

Oh, and one night a farookin’ BOBCAT walzed through the property. I only saw it for a couple seconds, but I could see that it was as big as a damned dog, but it wasn’t a dog; it was a farookin’ cat! I immediately went to the computer to pull up a picture and then confirmed that bobcats are all over Florida. Yeef! This place is a regular Wild Kingdom, and I sure as shit ain’t Marlin Perkins.

I did manage to avoid much of the news, which is good for my blood pressure, and at the hour when the world was supposed to come to an end, I was in the pool with the Usual Suspects doing cocktails. We all figured that if the world was going to end, we were in a good place, and we’d all go down together.

As we now know, the world didn’t end, but the vacation is coming to an end. Yeah, I know. Yo, Jimbo, you’re retired. Vacation? Vacation from what?

See youse guys soon.


  1. I’m hoisting one in honor of your vacation’s imminent demise. Good to hear you’re having fun.

    Comment by LeeAnn — May 25, 2011 @ 11:47 pm

  2. Micro-gator… I love it. Sounds like you and the Usual Suspects are having the usual wonderful time – how excellent! Now, watch out for those big cats. I think you would look mighty tasty to them. LOL.

    Comment by Teresa — May 26, 2011 @ 2:46 pm

  3. Mmmmmmm… skink. The other White Meat. 🙂

    Comment by Permatourist — May 26, 2011 @ 6:55 pm

  4. wow! That’s a picture of a “training gator”. Tourists start out with those and then slowly work their way up to the real thing.

    You’re on your way, bud!


    Comment by mostly cajun — May 27, 2011 @ 10:38 am

  5. If you love what you’re doing, every day’s a farookin’ vacation! Travel safely home, bro.

    Comment by Elisson — May 27, 2011 @ 4:42 pm

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