June 2, 2012

Yet More New Rules from Soopernanny Bloomberg.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 2:56 pm

As you by now know, the Beloved Leader of New York City, by regulatory fiat, will outlaw the sales of any sugary beverages by restaurants, sports venues, movie theaters, delis, and street carts in New York City in quantities larger than sixteen ounces. It’s all about obesity, dontcha know. Soopernanny is looking out for you, because he knows best.

PRS Operatives have obtained a draft of future regulations contemplated by His Excellency:

Restaurants

1. Restaurants must cut all food into bite-sized pieces before it is served to the customer. Food served to customers 65-years old, or older, must also be pre-chewed by the restaurant staff.

There are several reasons for the City taking these actions. Soopernanny is mindful of the number of choking deaths resulting from people putting too much food in their mouths at one time and not sufficiently chewing it before swallowing (Older diners often lack the robust dentition necessary for proper chewing). This regulatory action will also serve to reduce the incidence of indigestion for New York’s restaurant customers.

2. Consistent with Rule No. 1 (above), restaurants will no longer be permitted to provide customers with knives. This will prevent diners from cutting themselves with sharp implements, which, can also serve as dangerous weapons. Forks will also not be provided, as pre-cut and/or pre-chewed food can be safely enjoyed with a spoon.

3. Desserts will be permitted, provided that they contain no sugar and are served in a maximum portion size of one cubic inch. Restaurants will be permitted to serve only one portion of dessert per customer, and the restaurant shall not permit the practice of dessert sharing.

Sports Venues

1. The stadium or arena may sell hot dogs, but they shall be no larger than cocktail franks. Under no circumstances shall any customer be permitted to purchase more than two hot dogs at a time.

2. Peanuts can be sold, provided they are contained in a bag made of recycled paper containing no more than six peanuts per bag. Under no circumstances shall any customer be permitted to purchase more than two bags of peanuts at a time.

Note: PRS Operatives will monitor future regulatory developments in the Nanny City across the Hudson River.

10 Comments »

  1. Jeez, he such a super F*cktard! I can’t make up my mind – whether he or nOVomit are the worst of the two cretins. Ah, hell, they both suck and are absolutely incompetent boobs. And, what the hell is wrong with people in NY who vote idiots such as him into office? Oh, that’s right – simply because he’s rich and famous! But, wait…that can’t be…because only the repubic’s in America are the selfish and rich “fat cats”, right?! Oh, jeez, I can’t reconcile it all in my brain anymore. I might as well toodle on down to one of those medical marijuana “joints” in downtown Denver to medicate myself. Fie! on all the idiot leftists/”liberals” running all levels of government in this nation!

    Comment by Lee — June 2, 2012 @ 4:40 pm

  2. Jimbo-You are at the top of your game .Bloomy may hire you to do the regs .Do you think I could pee in one of the cups the nerd is posing with ?

    Comment by john — June 2, 2012 @ 6:10 pm

  3. …. you do realize that you and Denny are the defacto leaders of all us Jawja/Tennessee blodgers now, right?……… and you are doing a fine job…

    Comment by Eric — June 2, 2012 @ 10:31 pm

  4. So – airline peanuts are to make a comeback, in New York! Bloomie’s also big on recycling! A twofer!

    Comment by Charlie — June 3, 2012 @ 11:38 am

  5. Just another reason(1 of 3,749)why I hate NYC with a passion and have no desire to visit or spend any of my hard earned money there. Asshats. The original sheeple. Noo Yawkers just love nanny rules. They couldn’t survive without them.

    Comment by JerseyJerry — June 4, 2012 @ 10:59 am

  6. The Cyberspace wormhole is open again!

    Twice today I have posted on this thread & my efforts left my computer to never be seen by human eyes again. Somewhere in the Universe another civilization has some SciFi wingnuts searching for extra-terrestrial intelligence & received two more incoming messages today.
    The comments probably went like this…Damn! here comes that strange signal again, can`t place where its coming from,it might be a life form…… but it sure as shit is not intelligent! Sigh!

    Comment by dudley1 — June 4, 2012 @ 7:17 pm

  7. I’ve about had my three-term fill of Mayor Dooshberg. Granted, Rudy Giuliani was a tough act to follow, but I think the only thing worse than having Mikey Bloomers as Hizzoner was the travesty that was the catastrophic Dinkins Administration. Our 2013 mayoral hopefuls don’t inspire too much hope for the future either.

    Comment by Erica — June 4, 2012 @ 7:25 pm

  8. Also, @JerseyJerry, your analysis could not be further than the truth.

    Comment by Erica — June 4, 2012 @ 7:41 pm

  9. Jim no need for YOU to be upset, you are from New Jersey not NYC just look on it as a Business Opportunity LOL

    Comment by Dan Kauffman — June 5, 2012 @ 8:10 pm

  10. PS I don’t eat where they serve super sized drinks “I” eat where they have Self-service or Free Refills

    A single 32 oz drink? Hah what a buncha light weights.

    Comment by Dan Kauffman — June 5, 2012 @ 8:12 pm

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