December 28, 2012

Christmas Things I Won’t Miss.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 6:13 pm

Santa Sleigh

Christmas has passed. The rubble has been cleaned up, and the leftovers have been eaten. There is much I will miss about Christmas – the decorations, the family gathering, great food, watching small children anticipate Santa’s arrival, and the general good spirit exhibited by most folks.

There are, however, a few things I will not miss:

1. Commercial jingles sung to the tune of Christmas songs. I sometimes think that the “creative” people at ad agencies often aren’t very. Jingles sung to this song, more than any others, make me want to slam my head against a hard surface.

2. Local Car Dealership Commercials where the Owner of the Dealership wears a Santa hat and SHOUTS about the great Christmas deals he has to offer, even if you have no money and lousy credit. The end of the commercials often feature all the employees of the dealership standing in a mob (wearing Santa hats) and saying “Happy Holidays” in sort-of unison. Yeah, that’ll make me want to drop everything, run out and buy a new car.

3. Any parody of ’Twas the Night Before Christmas, except for this one. (The Wiseass Jooette reminded me of this great oldie.)

4. The Catalog Tsunami. I normally receive way more catalogs than I want, but between Thanksgiving and Christmas, I probably receive twenty pounds of them. Dear Harry and David – Nice stuff, but no thanks – a thousand times, no thanks.

5. Photographs of dogs with fake antlers stuck on their heads. Not funny; not particularly cute, and I’ll bet the dogs hate it too.

Hey, in 362 days, we get to do it all over again.


  1. Is there a worse song than McCartney’s “Having A Wonderful Christmas Time”-just terrible and played constantly .

    Comment by john — December 28, 2012 @ 9:23 pm

  2. I HATE that friggin’ song! It is so damn juvenile and absolutely annoying! I also HATE judy garland’s rendition of “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.” PUKE! She sounds like some old grandma warbling her way through the song – and it is such a damn good song…for which only Karen Carpenter does any justice to.

    Comment by Lee — December 29, 2012 @ 2:41 am

  3. AND, just for the record, the Newtown massacre clearly cast a dark pall over the Christmas celebration. Honestly, I had a difficult time focusing on love, peace and joy and all the radiance of the season – knowing that there were several families in Newtown without their babies. Made me absolutely sick. My sense is that others felt the same…I sensed a melancholy in people. The songs at church on Christmas Eve were a bit subdued. And, rightly so. All this after an absolutely atrocious election in November.

    Comment by Lee — December 29, 2012 @ 2:56 am

  4. The Carol of the Bells is the most repetitive, brain-numbing, annoying, nightmare-inducing piece if ever there was one.

    And don’t get me started on The Little Drummer Boy.

    Comment by Fausta — December 29, 2012 @ 3:06 pm

  5. You left out the agony of a long road trip around the Holidays.

    All radio stations seem to be playing Christmas songs but it is nothing like getting in a groove where you go from one station to the next and hear the same three or four songs hour after hour.

    Comment by Dan Kauffman — January 4, 2013 @ 8:00 am

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