Yikes!!!
Excuuuuuuse me while I shit my pants!
As many of you know, I am scared shitless of alligators. So, when I read a story like this about crocodiles (the alligator’s badass cousin), I experience instant and potentially explosive intestinal motility.
It seems that 60-year old Barry Jeffries and his wife were fishing from a canoe in a waterhole in a national park in northern Australia, when an 800+ pound crocodile (like the one pictured above) followed their fishing lines to the canoe and dragged Mr. Jeffries out of the canoe by his arm, capsizing the canoe. The wife swam to shore, but the Mr. Jeffries has not yet been found and is presumed dead.
The suspected killer croc was shot the following day, much to the horror of the environmentalists and even the Jeffries’ family. It also turns out that the Mr. Jeffries and his wife were themselves environmentalists, who in the past wrote to a newspaper objecting to the possible culling of crocs after an attack in another location. In the letter, the Mrs. Jeffries wrote:
“A sensible assessment of the situation is more worthy than the sensational outcry that culling would save human lives. Most Australians never venture into these remote areas, and those who do know that preparation needs to be taken,”
I cannot imagine what kinds of preparations Mrs. Jeffries had in mind. The area where the couple had been fishing requires a four-wheel drive vehicle to get to and is posted as being a place where one can expect to find crocodiles. It seems to me that fishing in that water, under any circumstances, was a bad idea, and fishing from something as easily capsized as a canoe was a very bad idea. But, hey, what do I know. I’m just a guy who can happily live the rest of his life without ever being within a hundred miles of a gator or a croc.
Bonus: For a few hair-raising stories about these Australian crocs, check out this article. Here’s a sample:
“These animals are relics of a prehistoric age. They have no natural enemies except man and they fear nothing. They are known by a variety of names — crocs, lizards, mud geckos, bities, leather handbags — but they are always treated with respect born of fear. Fishermen in the north commonly say that if you fall out of your dinghy in a croc-infested creek, you’ll be back in before getting wet.â€
I’d love to visit Australia some day, but I’ll make damned sure I go where the crocs ain’t
Now THAT is messed up. I hate those damn things anyway even though they do make great handbags and boots.
Comment by Kate — August 18, 2005 @ 9:43 pm
The guy had a bad day. Interesting irony on the whole leave em alone in their natural habitat though.
Speaking of natural habitats, have the black bears made it to, say, the Oranges yet? I wish some of them would make a bee line down to Trenton and clear the town out.
Comment by Dan — August 19, 2005 @ 12:24 am
sounds to me like this guy pulled up a chair and got to know the croc’s inner asshole, eh?
heh heh heh
Comment by mr. helpful — August 19, 2005 @ 12:40 am
No need to fear Jim, you just need to be like this lady & be able to swim faster than whomever you’re with. Same approach works with bears too, though you’ll need to substitute ‘run’ or ‘climb’ for ‘swim’.
Or you could use my 100% effective approach & stay the hell away from places like that. 😉
Comment by rita — August 19, 2005 @ 7:44 am
people forget that crocs and alligators are nothing but left over dinosaurs. like sharks, their existance revolves around eating, stalking and trying to reproduce… wait a minute… that sounds like the typical Amerikan male…
sorry… I’ll go away now.
Comment by gregor — August 19, 2005 @ 9:36 am
The Goddess and I were touring one of the plantations around her native Charleston. All around the grounds were signs warning that the gators had been a little restive lately and people should exercise caution. There must have been fifty signs saying “don’t run from them”. We saw nothing until a log in the water opened its eyes about twenty feet from us. We ran.
Comment by Sluggo — August 19, 2005 @ 11:41 am
I’m scared shitless of bears. Luckily I live in southeast Alaska where we only get the black bears and not the grizzlies.
Comment by Alaska Kim — August 19, 2005 @ 4:26 pm
This sounds like the story of that guy who was killed by a bear in Alaska – guess he really loved them – was an environmentalist the whole bit – and the bear just didn’t care… oh well, we will hope that neither one of these geniuses did any breeding before leaving this world.
Comment by Teresa — August 19, 2005 @ 4:46 pm
That nutcase that got eaten by a bear up here in Katmai had it coming. And his poor girlfriend, I felt sorry for her — she got killed too. You just don’t make friends with wild grizzly bears, it don’t work.
Comment by Alaska Kim — August 19, 2005 @ 4:57 pm
I’ve lived around the bastards for ten years.
I would NEVER swim in the waters down here. These people are just fucking nuts!
Comment by gordon the magnificent — August 19, 2005 @ 9:35 pm
Maybe you need to create the Association for the Prevention of Flushing Crocs and Alligators. I can’t help but think the unwanted pets get sent out into the rivers and find their way to Jersey. If they are anything like the wildlife here, they’ll move in and take over the couch in no time!
Comment by buffy — August 20, 2005 @ 2:28 pm
I lived in Florida for a while and, as an avid outdoorsman, I got to understand gators. Basically, the plan is not to screw with them once they get over about six inches. If they want to swim, just pretend your still eight years old and its “Adult Swim” time.
Oddly enough, some people actually think of them as pets and throw dog food and stuff to them. Then they are amazed when they eat your dog. I know easily a dozen stories about how stupid people ended up getting killed by gators. In general, I figure if you’re stupid enough to get close enough to a true natural born killer, then it’s probably a good thing you can no longer drive.
Sounds to me like the woman was trollling with dog food and then threw her husband at the croc as part of a “cheap and easy Aussie divorce”.
XT
Comment by Xpatriated Texan — August 21, 2005 @ 2:30 pm