November 17, 2005

Ask Hillary.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 8:02 pm

You’ve Got Questions? I’ve got Answers.
Because I’m Very Smart, and You’re … Very Not.

Dear Senator Clinton:

Does Mr. Clinton ever tell you that he misses being President?

Valerie DuFus

Dear Valerie,

Mr. Clinton has never come out and said that to me. However, I think he does miss it, because, on a few occasions, I have seen him standing in front of the mirror with a Federal Express envelope (You know, one of those cardboard things) on his head, and a pair of my black panty hose, with the legs hooked over each of his ears so it looks like a beard, and he recites the Gettysburg Address — No kidding. He doesn’t know I’ve seen him do this, and it is quite amusing.

Dear Hillary,

Do you and Bill ever sing “Paradise by the Dashboard Light” together? It’s the one by Meatloaf. You know what I mean? It’s the one where Bill sings the guy’s part, and you sing the girl’s part? It’s really fun!

Tiffany Bridges

Dear Tiffany,

I’m not much for singing (except in the shower LOL), and I haven’t driven a car for years. I do, however, enjoy a tasty meatloaf now and then. But, don’t ask me for a recipe, because I can’t even boil water. LOL

Dear Senator Clinton:

I remember when you made the joke about “Gandhi” driving a taxicab. It really upset many Indians. Are you concerned that many us of are still upset with you over that remark?

Jitendra Ganjooli

Dear Jitendra,

I really didn’t mean any harm by my joke. Hell, I think Tonto rocks!!!. I absolutely love Indians. I even bought some of that really neat turquoise jewelry they make the last time I was in Arizona. Please forgive me. {{{{Hugs}}}}

Dear Senator Clinton:

My wife Wilma and I are interested in knowing how you really feel about George W. Bush.

Walter Demming

Dear alter,

I ant to thank you and your ife ilma for riting such onderfully interesting question.

Did you notice that I rote the anser to your question ithout using the letter that looks like 2 “V’s” together. ROTFLMAO!!!!!


  1. “Tonto rocks”…. ROFLMAO!!! Thanks I really needed that laugh.

    Comment by Teresa — November 17, 2005 @ 9:56 pm

  2. Jim,

    Clever as always…..

    Comment by armywifetoddlermom — November 18, 2005 @ 9:44 am

  3. {{{{missing Rose Law Firm billing records}}}}

    Comment by dogette — November 18, 2005 @ 12:41 pm

  4. ha brilliant.

    Comment by hoosierboy — November 18, 2005 @ 2:10 pm

  5. Jimbo, she looks good enough to fuck in this picture. Where did you get it? Cat

    Comment by Catfish — November 18, 2005 @ 5:51 pm

  6. I’m amazed at your access to the Clintons, keeps me coming back!

    Comment by Sgt Hook — November 19, 2005 @ 12:02 am

  7. I’ve read this about four times now and it makes me laugh everytime. Cat’s comment traumatized me, though!

    Comment by zonker — November 19, 2005 @ 10:14 am

  8. Hillary…

    … homeslice Jimbo is mining a new vein… and it’s pure gold… behold: Dear Senator Clinton: I was wondering whether you do anything special to prepare for an event that you expect will require you to be particularly sharp, such…

    Trackback by Straight White Guy — November 20, 2005 @ 6:23 pm

  9. Access

    One of my ALL-TIME favorite bloggers, Jim at the Parkway Rest Stop has somehow managed to get exclusive and almost unrestricted access to the Clintons. He keeps this up, we’ll have to start calling him “Scoop.”
    Ask Hillary 1

    Trackback by Sgt Hook - This We'll Defend — November 22, 2005 @ 4:07 pm

  10. “I do, however, enjoy a tasty meatloaf now and then.”

    Does that line make anyone else think of that one scene from the Rocky Horror Picture Show?…

    Comment by Harvey — November 22, 2005 @ 11:20 pm

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