February 3, 2006

A New Breed of Cell Phone Idiot.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 9:12 pm

Walkie talkie.jpgI could not help but notice that an ABC poll concerning behaviors that people thought to be particularly rude identified taliking loudly on cell phones in public places as the number one form of rudeness. I was not at all surprised at the results of the poll, and, indeed, I have previously written about Cell Phone Vulgarians.

The poll results reminded me of a new form of Cell Phone Vulgarianism I experienced a few days ago, which I hope is not the beginning of a trend. Here’ the story:

I found myself in a nationally known pharmacy, specifically in the small area that is set aside for people waiting for prescriptions. It is not anything like a separate room. Rather, it consists of about a half dozen chairs situated approximately seven or eight feet from the counter.

The store was extremely busy, and the counter people were doing their best to deal with the onslaught of customers, many of whom had to sort out the confusion resulting from their participation in the governmental prescription plan thing. Suffice it to say that it would have been a stressful place to be, even if everyone in the “waiting area” was quietly waiting. However, that was not the case on the day in question.

Three of the six seats in the “waiting area” were occupied by late-teen-aged dizzball girls. One of them (the Main Dizzball) decided that calling a couple of their friends might be a swell way to pass the time. It would have been bad enough to have to suffer the loud-talking Main Dizzball’s half of the conversation, but we were not so lucky.

The Main Dizzball had one of those Nextel-type walkie-talkie phones, and she proceeded to turn it up to max volume so that her two friends in the store and everyone else within fifty feet of her could hear both sides of their absolutely inane conversation. The Main Dizzball and her two friends were all talking at the same time to the idiot on the other end of the line, who also had a friend with her. It was a regular farookin’ conference call, only with subject matter appropriate for someone with brain damage.

Judging from their smirks and giggles, they were obviously loving the looks that could kill attention they were getting from me and the other poor slobs in the “waiting area”.

I could not help but wonder whether a jury of my peers would convict me if I were to shove her nifty walkie-talkie cell phone up her ass.


  1. You needed a jammer, hmm that might be a nice niche market. 😉

    Comment by Dan Kauffman — February 3, 2006 @ 11:10 pm

  2. I enjoy your blog pretty much on a daily basis. Iagree with pretty much everything you have to say, however, why not just tell these extremely annoyingly rude eejits what you think of them and be done with it? You feel better, everyone else who is being annoyed feels better, and the annoyance, if told in a sufficiently enough manner will get the gist of the comment and leave the premise.

    Thank you, daily, for your wonderful observations.

    Comment by JD — February 4, 2006 @ 2:09 am

  3. Convict you? Hell, they’d give you a medal.

    The most fun thing to do is strike up an equally loud inane conversation with a friend….while mocking the way the teenagers are talking. Nothing a kid that age hates any worse than being aped by us old farts.

    Comment by rita — February 4, 2006 @ 4:58 am

  4. Convict you? Hell, I know people that will pay to watch.

    Comment by Contagion — February 4, 2006 @ 8:25 am

  5. Much as Rita’s idea appeals, I’m afraid it’s too much like being the second person to pee in the swimming pool.

    I do like the idea someone proposed (maybe over at NRO?) of taking notes, maybe even asking Dizzball to repeat a few things to get them right. If she asks what you’re doing, reply “Working up a screenplay about clueless airheads.”

    Or, you could abandon any pretense of manners and just fart loudly.

    Comment by Mike Anderson — February 4, 2006 @ 3:43 pm

  6. You have no idea how much I do not want to hear the stuff I’m forced to overhear nowadays. And 99% of it is people talking about absolute crap. It’s like a constant stream of TV commercials, only none of them have even won a CLIO.

    Comment by dogette — February 4, 2006 @ 3:58 pm

  7. Here’s the problem: she’d probably enjoy you shoving the phone up her ass… and that’s just positive reinforcement so you’re definitely going to need a plan “B”…

    Comment by Lisa W — February 5, 2006 @ 1:10 pm

  8. If you shove the phone up her ass you will just end up placing it closer to her ears.

    Comment by azygos — February 7, 2006 @ 4:59 pm

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