May 16, 2006

Defective Wiring.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 8:25 pm

compass.bmpI believe it is true that some people (perhaps most people) are just not properly wired to do one particular thing or another – and I really do mean “wired” in the sense that their brains are just not configured to perform certain tasks or learn certain things.

For example, I know people who are as tone deaf as a stone.  They cannot tell which of two notes is higher.  Along similar lines, I knew a guy who could play the hell out of the guitar (including things like Santana type licks) but who could not reproduce the notes with his voice.  I have a friend who sometimes reads the mirror image of the hands on a clock, so that instead of saying, “It’s eight o’clock,” he will say, “It’s four o’clock.  I also know a couple people who cannot keep their “lefts” and “rights” straight, no matter how hard they try.

I do believe it is a matter of wiring.

My wiring flaw is that I have absolutely no sense of direction.  As I mentioned once before, I have no sense of where north, south, east, or west is at any given time.  When I was in Austin, I asked, “Which way is north?” and a half dozen fingers pointed in the same direction at the same time.  Obviously, they are properly wired.

I also have previously confessed to the strange malady of knowing how to get from point A (my home, for example) to point B, from point A to point C, and from point A to point D, etc. However, without explicit written-for-morons directions, I am utterly incapable of getting from point B to point C without first going back to point A.  And, of course, once I am lost, I am really schnitzled, because of the north, south, east and west thing.

Those days may be over, because yesterday I bought myself one of these babies.

I tried it this morning, and it worked like a charm. It “tells” you where to turn, and even if you screw up, it finds the next best way. And, the best thing is that I don’t have to worry about things like Mr. Template.

Now, with the help of technology, despite my defective wiring, I can go from point “D” to point “B”, and maybe visit point “C” and head back to point “D”, without ever once having to return to “A”.

It’s downright farookin’ remarkable.

9 Comments »

  1. Jim,

    From my unbiased observations, you’re reading far too much into this directional thing.

    Your inability to find North is probably the result of growing up in NJ.
    It doesn’t frickin matter cuz in NJ, nobody says go north for 1 mile, then turn west, yadda, yadda.
    In Austin, they need to know the general direction. This was important for them to learn when they were young.

    Also, in Tokyo, it’s just like NJ. They don’t even display maps with a North facing up. Nobody gives a shit.

    Comment by Dan — May 17, 2006 @ 12:47 am

  2. Keep us updated on how it works, will you? We’ve been thinking about getting one.

    I can’t find my way around in cities to save my life. Don’t tell me to turn north on XYZ Street, tell me left or right if you expect me to get there.

    Comes from growing up in area with no street signs, I suspect.

    Comment by rita — May 17, 2006 @ 8:58 am

  3. You never did ask me which way was North-ha! I can wash dishes, talk on the phone, and change a diaper with my feet.

    Comment by armywifetoddlermom — May 17, 2006 @ 9:12 am

  4. … I want a video of that, ArmyWife…. I’m calling bullshit…

    Comment by Eric — May 17, 2006 @ 12:38 pm

  5. I don’t know about the dishes, phone-talking, or diaper-changing thing, but I do know that she never did ask me which way “north” was. I assume that the reason for that is, like me, she tends to assume that anything in front of the moving car is “north”.

    Comment by Jim - PRS — May 17, 2006 @ 1:18 pm

  6. I did okay with North/South/East/West in the Chicago area – the roads are mostly straight so it’s pretty easy. (although I still navigated mostly by landmarks and gave directions with landmarks too) Now that I’m here in Massachusetts, I can not for the life of me figure out which direction I’m headed.

    I would swear to you that our house faces North and then realize that the sun is setting in that direction – it MUST be West unless the sun has changed somehow. I’ve been in the car with my husband driving and would swear he was turning the wrong direction – only to find out that he’s going the right way and I don’t know how he knew that!

    I have a huge map book in my car – but I get lost every time I try something new here. Scary. I may end up getting one of those things so I feel a bit better about knowing where I am.

    Comment by Teresa — May 17, 2006 @ 2:42 pm

  7. Nice….my dad is thinking about buying one as well. I’ll be anxious to hear what you think about how well it works.

    Comment by Lisa W. — May 17, 2006 @ 6:25 pm

  8. I love those thingys! And I soooooo need one! I’m like you…North? West? In Florida it was easy. North? Bad. West? Gulf. That was all I needed to know! But up here? Holy Shit. Seems like I’m always lost!!!

    Comment by Tammi — May 18, 2006 @ 9:49 am

  9. You might want to let Marcus know that such marvels exist. He’ll he got three people lost in Austin for an hour and a half ’cause he wasn’t “wired right”. See now, Joe’s got one of them things “built in” his noggin.

    Comment by RedNeck — May 18, 2006 @ 10:22 pm

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