October 10, 2006

Bill Clinton at the Dentist’s Office.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 7:42 pm

One day, Bill Clinton decided to stop by a local dentist, Dr. Sam Jones, for a checkup and cleaning. PRS operatives were nearby.

Dr. Jones: Good morning, sir. I understand that you’re here for a checkup and cleaning.

Clinton: That’s right.

Dr. Jones: OK, let’s get started. (Dr. Jones begins his examination) Hmmmm, have you been brushing regularly, sir?

Clinton: What kind of a question is that? Do you ask republicans that question?

Dr. Jones: I don’t understand. It seems like a perfectly reasonable question for a dentist to ask a patient. I ask many, if not most, of my patients that same question.

Clinton: Well, I think you’re out of line! Who put you up to this? It was that bastard Rove, wasn’t it?

Dr. Jones: No, sir. It’s just that I noticed that there is a stain on some of your teeth.

Clinton: A stain? STAIN? Now I know that someone put you up to this! Bastards! I’m sick and tired of this stuff from right-wing nuts determined to ruin my legacy!

Dr. Jones: I’m sorry, but I don’t understand why you’re so upset?

Clinton: Don’t give me that crap. You’re asking me about a stain. I know a hit-job when I see one. I won’t tolerate it.

Dr. Jones: Excuse me, sir, but you have a stain on your teeth, and I was just trying to determine the source of the stain so that I can properly remove it.

Clinton: Listen to me, mister. So far, I don’t like your attitude, but go ahead.

Dr. Jones: Fine. Have you been smoking cigars?

Clinton: CIGARS?! Oh, you are a wise ass. This is a right-wing setup for damned sure. You’ve got that little smirk on your face and you think you’re so clever.

Dr. Jones: Sir, I do not have a smirk on my face, and I would like you to stop pointing your finger in my face.

Clinton: I can point my finger anywhere I want to. Do you know who I am?

Dr. Jones: Yes, indeed I do.

Clinton: OK, I’m glad to hear that. Now, proceed!

Dr. Jones: Beat it.

Clinton: What did you say?

Dr. Jones: You heard me. Get the hell out of my office.

Clinton: Are you out of your mind? I am former President of the United States!

Dr. Jones: Well, then I suggest that you take your sorry ass to a military base for your dental work. Those poor bastards have to put up with your shit. I don’t!

In the hallway outside the office, Clinton’s Secret Service Detail is high-five’ing and doubling over with laughter.

THE END (I love a happy ending.)


  1. … Clinton is definitely in meltdown mode…..

    Comment by Eric — October 10, 2006 @ 8:43 pm

  2. I so love the PRS reports!

    Comment by jck — October 10, 2006 @ 9:57 pm

  3. Those PRS operatives… always in the right place at the right time… *grin*

    Comment by Teresa — October 10, 2006 @ 10:11 pm

  4. Another Scoop…

    The crack investigative reporters at the Parkway Rest Stop have done it again. You don’t want to miss this scoop. Sgt Hook out.


    Trackback by Sgt Hook - This We'll Defend — October 10, 2006 @ 10:29 pm

  5. I’ve been avoiding all news of late, mostly because every time I read the headlines online I start singing “I’m So Rone-Ree” from the Team America: World Police movie and even though it makes me laugh, it’s getting on everyone’s nerves. But also, there are the Clinton “I Still Have a Lot To Say” headlines. Thanks for keeping me updated in this vital area. I think.

    Comment by dogette — October 11, 2006 @ 8:36 am

  6. Now that the detail have all retired, I can convey a story from a Brother Mason: (one of those secrets)
    His last job for the military was to sweep hotel rooms as part of the E.O.D. team for secret service during the Hill/Bill era. They had taken a lot of crap from them, especially her (Study!, honey! Do you want to end up like these guys? -Hill to her daughter-) Their job was apparently last on the list. The two were on a canpaign swing and were in a hurry. Suddenly the door to the suite cracked open, and the Chief of Security stuck his head in to say they needed to wrap up, as they were on their way up. Everybody, dressed in suits, froze, and the agent observed them handling private body parts making varied contact with unwrapped water glasses, telephones, etc. Big heavy silence. Without so much as a twitch, the agent raised his voice, apparently for those in the hall, and said something like, “Right! Okay! They are almost finished. We’ll be good to go in a minute or two.” and shut the door.
    -All I can say is he has the wall plaques and unit pics to back it all up.-

    Comment by Jim Johnson — October 13, 2006 @ 11:57 am

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