November 6, 2006

Nancy’s Diary. (Vol. 2)

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 10:26 pm

Pelosi.jpgDear Diary,

Well, this will be the last night I will have to spend in my hidey-hole without a telephone or even e-mail, because tomorrow is ELECTION DAY! I have been so excited thinking about winning tomorrow that I wasn’t able to concentrate on Regis, Oprah or QVC. Some primo herb would have helped, but those guys dragged me out of the house before I could grab my stash. Thank God for the Cristal! LOL!

OMG, it is going to be sooooo cool to be The Speaker in the House. I’ll get to, like, speak whenever I want, and everyone will have to listen to me, especially those stoooooopid republicans, because I’ll have that big gabble that I can use to hit them in their stooooooopid heads if they don’t listen. LOL!

I was thinking about the laws I would pass, but then I got this super idea. The thing is that it is a super seeeeecret idea, but, Dear Diary, I can share it with you.

Here’s my idea. As soon as I become The Speaker in the House, I will expeach that dumbbell Bush AND that grumpy-pants Cheney BOTH AT THE SAME TIME! Boy will they EVER shit a pickle!

And, when they are both kicked out of office, GUESS WHO WILL BE PRESIDENT!!! ROTFLMAO!!! Yeah, it’ll be me, me, me, me.

I’m so excited, I think I might pee in my Roberto Cavalli panties.

If my friend Hilly finds out about my super secret expeachment plan, she’ll shit in her Wonder Woman Underoos. Sucks to be her! LOL!!!!!


  1. Dear God, please, no…

    Comment by DMerriman — November 6, 2006 @ 11:11 pm

  2. both hilarious and terrifying, you have a gift

    Comment by shoe — November 7, 2006 @ 9:13 am

  3. OK, the “hidey-hole” phrase, in proximity to that hysterical photo you’re using. Something about that is *palpably* sneery and I am commenting before I’ve even read the rest. Talk about a grabbing, FUNNY lead. I’m dyin’ here.

    Comment by dogette — November 7, 2006 @ 9:56 am

  4. LOL on the writing.

    EEEEK! on the picture.

    Comment by Harvey — November 7, 2006 @ 10:01 am

  5. Jimbo,

    You soooo almost made me pee my pants

    Comment by armywifetoddlermom — November 7, 2006 @ 6:22 pm

  6. Two heartbeats away from the presidency! Maybe we could get Cheney to waterboard her, or better yet, go for a drive with Ted Kennedy.

    Comment by Denny — November 8, 2006 @ 11:18 pm

  7. That was an interesting read.

    Jimmy Dushku

    Comment by Jimmy Dushku — January 6, 2007 @ 8:42 pm

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