June 18, 2007

Welcome to 1996, Jimbo.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 8:18 pm

I finally got around to buying a DVD Player.

Although finally buying something in 2007 that has been available since 1996 is pretty lame, but it’s not as bad as it sounds. We have a laptop DVD player and another one built in to the upstairs TV, but the built-in DVD player was on the fritz. What makes this a big deal is that I never had a DVD player hooked up to the TV in the room where Mr. Recliner resides. Don’t ask. It’s a long, boring story starring Yours Truly as the Techno-Doofus.

Anyway, a week or so ago when I tried to fire up the VCR (I had one of those, but I hadn’t used it in a couple years) to tape the final episode of the Sopranos for a friend of mine, the damned thing was obviously kaput. As a result, I had to move the TV (and the cabinet housing it) away from the wall to unplug the stuff that married the VCR to the digital cable box and the TV.

While I was behind the TV, I took the time to see what kind of inputs the TV has. I had always thought that because it is a very old TV (Don’t ask. Another long story), it lacked the necessary inputs to permit the hookup of a DVD Player. To my surprise, it looked to me (based on some recently acquired information about DVD Player hookupage) that hooking up a DVD player might not be out of the question. Visions of actually watching DVDs while sitting in Mr. Recliner began to dance in my head.

As it happens, Ken, my friend and bodyguard, was at the House by the Parkway to do me a huge favor (more on that at a later date), so he took a look and confirmed that a DVD player could be hooked up. Seeing as how he was headed out to Best Buy to look at some speakers, I decided to go along to buy TWO DVD Players – one for the upstairs TV and one for the room where Mr. Recliner resides.

I managed to find exactly what I was looking for, namely two DVD Players that do absolutely nothing more than – you guessed it — play DVDs. I don’t want to record TV programs, I don’t want to program the thing to come on and go off at specified times (as if I could if I wanted to), and I don’t want programmable electric asswipes. I wanted two widgets that PLAY DVDs – nothing more. They were on sale for $29.95 each!

Ken, being anal and all, and also knowing that I would wring my hands for months over actually plugging the units in, insisted we return immediately to the House by the Parkway to install them. He managed to do just that on both sets without reading any instructions, but rather by plugging and unplugging wires and pressing a shitload of buttons until it was right. I need to learn how to proceed with such reckless techno-abandon.

So, yesterday, I happily planted my ass in Mr. Recliner and actually watched a DVD, one that the Wiseass Brooklyn Jooette gave me in Kerrville, suggesting at the time that it was something that a Jersey Guy would like. I did — a lot. Perhaps more on that later.

Oh yeah. There is probably one benefit to waiting so long to get around to buying a DVD Player. I’ll bet you couldn’t buy one for $29.95 in 1996.


  1. I may be a Wiseass Brooklyn Jooette, but I am also a (ahem) Generous, Thoughtful Wiseass Brooklyn Jooette (who actually gave it to you in The Stinkbomb Capital of the World, oops, I mean Newark International Airfart, I mean Airport). You know I only have your best interests at heart, Herrboy.

    Comment by Joo-bie Joo-bie Joo — June 18, 2007 @ 8:28 pm

  2. “Programmable electric asswipes” — mweh.

    Comment by dogette — June 18, 2007 @ 9:59 pm

  3. Maybe you could take Ken with you to get a new farookin’ computer? Maybe something that doesn’t have a handcrank?

    Comment by DMerriman — June 18, 2007 @ 10:33 pm

  4. My husband can hook up anything electronic. This means I never have to puzzle my way through schematics or squiggly lines or anything. Heh. While I have no problem figuring out computers… televisions, dvds, and sound systems all take me forever to figure out where the plugs go. Oh I can eventually figure it out – for some reason it takes forever.

    Comment by Teresa — June 18, 2007 @ 11:01 pm

  5. Maybe now you can get rid of the rotary phone.

    Comment by Jerry — June 18, 2007 @ 11:06 pm

  6. Jimbo….

    YeGod…another dinosaur rumbling through the electronic age.I thought I was the only one.
    You went to “BestBuy” for your purchase? Our “BestBuy But Worst Service” is where “AOL” hires their non-help desk personel.

    Anyway, you seem to be farther along the evolution highway to mastery of the electronic age then me……You got any idea where one can get his Abacus repaired?

    Comment by dudley1 — June 19, 2007 @ 7:43 am

  7. Welcome to the Digital Age, my friend.

    Now what you need is TiVo, given that Mr. VCR is defunct. The newer models can record shows and zoop ’em over to your computer via wireless, and you can burn ’em to DVD’s. Or you can just use it to record shows you want to watch at your convenience. TiVo kicks ass.

    Comment by Elisson — June 20, 2007 @ 10:45 am

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