June 22, 2007

Fireworks Crackdown, 2007.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 1:31 am

firecrackers.jpgWell, New Jersey has kicked off yet another Fireworks Crackdown. Since I was kid, it has been unlawful to even possess fireworks in New Jersey. If we were caught with firecrackers, cherry bombs or the like, the local police would confiscate them on the spot, which, of course, meant that the cops’ kids always had the best fireworks.

When one grows up in a state where fireworks, by law, are contraband (i.e. something the mere possession of which is unlawful), it is easy to forget that other states have different rules. So, when Ken, my friend and bodyguard, and I were in Tennessee last October, we could not resist taking a side trip to a fireworks store (I believe it was this one, or one just like it).

I remembered as a boy traveling with my parents by car to Florida seeing grubby looking fireworks stands, but this was different. The experience was much like that of a life-long junkie visiting a Heroin Superstore. We walked around the large, neon-lit, spotless store marveling at the things that one could buy in Tennessee, the mere possession of which in the Garden State could put you in deep shit. There were fireworks of every description, all nicely displayed. It was farookin’ amazing!

At one point, the clerk ambled up to us as we were wide-eyed checking out a “Super Pack,” which included mortars and God knows what else. He fired up a video of the contents of the kit in all their explosive glory. He said, “If you boys are interested in this, you really need to check this out,” at which point, he directed us to the MONDO COLLECTION of fireworks that contained an array of colorfully blasting, banging, flying, poofing, “ooooooh” and “aaahhhhhh” provoking explosive know to man.

I think Ken would have been game to fill up his SUV with a shitload of fireworks, including the MONDO COLLECTION, but out of respect for my desire to not be arrested as a “fireworks smuggler” and thereby jeopardizing Mr. Law License, he didn’t press the issue.

I’d be willing to bet that some Jersey cop’s kid has the MONDO COLLECTION ready to go on the Fourth of July.


  1. Jimbo….

    Two things a boy had to have here in Erie as a teenager…..First, were supplies of fireworks…Silver tubes, Cherry bombs, regular crackers & lady fingers….Second was a pack of Prophylactics to carry around in your wallet in case you ran into a Nymphomaniac to make a man out of you.

    While we used literally carloads of assorted fireworks for all kinds of nefarious deeds……The prophylactics did not fare so well as they slowly moldered away in the recesses of your wallet. Never got to meet that Nymphomaniac every teenager was sure was just around the corner.

    Anyway fireworks sale to non-residents is legal here but not to residents….Strangely Ohio & New York have the same law….sooooo on any given day I90 is full of Pennsylvania People traveling to Ohio & New York & vice versa for the residents of Ohio & New York to Pennsylvania. Where I live it is about a 30 mile trip to either Ohio or New York. My adult son???? has a collection of explosives ready for the Fourth of July which would awe a squad of Al Queda terrorists.

    Comment by dudley1 — June 22, 2007 @ 7:58 am

  2. I too remember fireworks stands all up and down US19 in Florida when I was a kid…It was a better, more innocent time back then.

    On the other hand, the problem with the Prophylactics is this…

    When you buy a box of 12, and then 3 months later you still have 11 of them….It gives you a graphic representation of exactly how much leg you AREN’T getting….:)

    Comment by Dave — June 22, 2007 @ 8:04 am

  3. Here in Virginia, we’re restricted to the type of fireworks we can have. I think it’s nothing that shoots up and goes boom. Of course, that’s widely ignored.

    Several of my neighbors and I used to pool resources and make a Saturday pilgrimage to West Virginia, to the same type of store you describe. We’d return with a carload of shoots-up-and-goes-boom.

    That tradition was ruined when one new neighbor joined the group, and then spent the night drunk with a blowtorch, scaring the shit out of everyone as he staggered around lighting every firework in sight, whether it was ready to go or not.

    Comment by Ted — June 22, 2007 @ 8:30 am

  4. Given the people I knew with said illegal fireworks and their execution of firing said illegal fireworks (years ago), I’m kind of glad we have the law. Seriously, do we need really drunk people in a densely populated area and/or really stupid people with no sense in a densely populated area shooting off things that can cause injury and fire? I mean, look at what the the McGuire did with a flare. Geesh!

    Comment by RT — June 22, 2007 @ 8:44 am

  5. Honestly, it’s like you guys live in another country or something up there in the North. Some sort of screwed up little communist regime with shitty fencing.
    Honestly, I’m surprised y’all put up with that crap. The other day, when I went out and bought a new pistol, it blew Kelly’s mind that I could do it so easily. I didn’t know there was any other way until she explained the laws of Pennsylvania. Disgusting.

    You folks up North really need to seriously think about about a Tea Party or two.
    I’m serious.

    Comment by Dick — June 22, 2007 @ 10:49 am

  6. Hey, don’t even lump them in with us’ns that are truly in the North of the USA. We have fireworks and guns here in NH !

    Comment by bogie — June 22, 2007 @ 12:09 pm

  7. *hangs head and law license in shame* Me and the gang just spent a collective $1500 in those Mondo explosives for the fourth. And there is guaranteed to be at least one more trip to Ohio for more . . . My favorite holiday!

    Comment by oddybobo — June 22, 2007 @ 1:42 pm

  8. I think the law here in MONTANA is that if it isn’t licensed by the NRC, it’s pretty much legal. Couple of years ago, a friend of mine blew over $2K (pun intended!) on all kinds of nifty shoots-up-and-goes-boom/sparkley stuff.


    Comment by DMerriman — June 22, 2007 @ 2:05 pm

  9. You can buy fireworks here in our grocery stores. Hells bells, the boys were just flippin’ through a fireworks catalogue we got in the mail two weeks ago, as if it were the Christmas Toy catalogue. That Saturday they coerced my ever lovin’ husband to take them out and buy fireworks. It may not have even been June yet! So the boyz are ready for the 4th.

    It doesn’t surprise me y’all don’t have fireworks in NJ. They don’t even let y’all pump your own gas. Just sayin’…

    Comment by Bou — June 22, 2007 @ 6:51 pm

  10. Jimbo I don’t like the real loud ones, reminds me of in-coming …. ha ha

    Comment by chef of da future — June 22, 2007 @ 8:31 pm

  11. Me and all of my kids loves fireworks. When my kids were small, we use to ride over the bridge to South Carolina and buy all we wanted. Georgia was a sin. We love to shoot all we had and had fun, now Georgia sells them at Walmart and every other store.

    Comment by Catfish — June 22, 2007 @ 8:51 pm

  12. Ah, yes, Montana. The only three ‘rules’ that I have ever been aware of is:

    1. be mindful of the “city” limits
    2. always have a fire watch.
    3. anything goes


    Comment by everydayjoe — June 22, 2007 @ 10:43 pm

  13. You shoulda gone to the last Helen meet. You could have watched Yabu fire “mortars” up into the sky. And into the trees. And at houses across the Chattahoochee. I think he was working his way up to aiming at people but the cops showed up first. Damn shame…

    Comment by zonker — June 23, 2007 @ 1:06 am

  14. My neighbors in Chicago used to do the illegal runs to Indiana and Wisconsin for fireworks. Then they’d have a big show and the cops would come calling. While I love fireworks – I prefer not to spend the money on them… I’ll just watch everyone else blow them up. *grin*

    Comment by Teresa — June 23, 2007 @ 1:01 pm

  15. Driving down 2-95 today and saw those “Amber Alert/Caution” boards…Must be a slow day. It read: “Fireworks illegal, fine and (whatever the other punishment was aside from confiscation). I laughed.

    Comment by RT — June 23, 2007 @ 7:36 pm

  16. Best set of fireworks I ever heard were three 105’s pounding the shit out of a hilltop.
    Nothing’s matched it since.

    Comment by dick — June 24, 2007 @ 5:36 pm

  17. morons

    Comment by able2read — July 14, 2008 @ 6:51 am

  18. Do what I did with a neighbor whose fireworks would go on hour after hour after hour in the month of July… Videotape them, call the police and get the report, sit and keep logs, take pictures. Any debris that lands on an insured item (roof, driveway, deck, awning, sidewalk, porch, in your pool, etc) is covered by your home’s insurance policy and your neighbor is financially liable for the mess and damage, cleanup and repair. File an insurance claim with your own homeowner’s policy – hire the most expensive restoration company you can find to come and clean up the mess, wash everything and repair any damage. Your insurance company will then go after your neighbor’s insurance company to get their money back. You will be out of pocket for your deductible until your insurance gets their money back at which time they’ll give you your deductible back. Your neighbor’s policy will go up in cost or be canceled & you’ll never have to even speak with the jerk at any time during the process.

    I did this with my neighbor a few years ago and this works perfectly to legally and lawfully hold those accountable for damaging your home, even on the 4th of July (or any day of the year for that matter).

    The total damages his insurance company had to pay for was $5,344.47.

    Anyone can do this in any state and should do it if you have a jerk of a neighbor who feels his “right” to shoot fireworks trumps your right to protect your home, property and family and it does not matter what your local laws are because this is a civil and insurance matter.

    God Bless America!!

    Comment by Tom — July 4, 2009 @ 1:35 pm

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