January 23, 2008

The Next Debate.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 7:09 pm

I don’t know about you, but I’m looking forward to the next Democrat Party debate. I figure here’s how it might shake out:

Wolf: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to the 97th Democratic Party Primary Candidates’ Debates, hosted this evening by CNN. I’m Wolf Blitzer, and with us this evening are Senators Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama …

Edwards: Hey, Wolf! What about me?

Wolf: Oh, … right. Sorry. Former Senator John Edwards is also here. Let’s get right to it, shall we? Senator Obama, it has been observed that the fool who currently occupies the White House has damaged the image of the American Presidency, both at home and abroad. Do you feel that you are the best candidate to restore that tarnished image?

Obama: Well, I damned sure would do a better job at it than Fat Ass over there would.

Wolf: Senator Obama, ….. I don’t think ……

Hillary: Oh, you’re talking real tough tonight, asshole. Snort a couple extra lines before the debate, did you?

Wolf: Senators, please!

Obama: Lines? You wanna talk lines? How ‘bout that shit on yo’ face, bitch?

Edwards: Hey, I’m in this debate too.

Wolf: Senators! Maybe we should hear from John Edwards.

Obama: Nobody gives a shit what he has to say.

Hillary: Edwards? He can kiss my ass.

Obama: Nobody wanna kiss THAT ass. You and your punk-ass husband, common criminals, both of you. Your asses should be in stir. And you’re out there talking booshit about me? I oughta smack the shit outtta boaf o’ you!

Hillary: F****** N*****!

Obama: F****** C***!

The candidates had to be separated by Secret Service personnel. The debate was terminated when Mr. Blitzer fainted. Spokespersons for the candidates have refused comment on the likelihood of a 98th debate.


  1. I see that the chocolate vodka and a good night sleep did wonders for you. ROFLMAO!!!

    Comment by Teresa — January 23, 2008 @ 8:09 pm

  2. Once Wolf’s corset was loosened and smelling salts were utilized, little Wolfie was brought back to life.

    Comment by curtis — January 23, 2008 @ 8:25 pm

  3. Gotdamn, Jim, THAT was hilarious! I’m laughing so hard my eyes are watering! Priceless!

    Comment by JerryK — January 23, 2008 @ 8:26 pm

  4. We can only hope…

    Comment by DMerriman — January 23, 2008 @ 9:12 pm


    Comment by GUYK — January 24, 2008 @ 8:25 am

  6. look there is Bill in the crowd giving the finger to the other canidates. Hillary is out but Bill has his eye on a pritty little number going down the hall

    Comment by Charlie — January 24, 2008 @ 8:34 am

  7. Unfortunately for Bill the pretty little number going down the hall was John Edwards.

    Comment by dudley1 — January 24, 2008 @ 9:34 am

  8. I seriously cannot stop laughing. That was the PERFECT way to start the day. Thank you, Jimbo!

    Comment by Agamemnon Jones — January 24, 2008 @ 10:08 am

  9. If only the debates were really like this – talk about must-see TV !

    Comment by Angela — January 24, 2008 @ 11:48 am

  10. hysterical!

    Comment by supergurl — January 24, 2008 @ 2:07 pm

  11. It do take a hoss to drop the C-word now…, and I don’t particularly want a “hometown meeting” ever Thursday night to discuss whether or not that dress makes her ass look fat.

    Comment by RedNeck — January 24, 2008 @ 4:35 pm

  12. I’m waiting for one of them to stomp his or her feet and hold his or her breath until he or she turns blue. They sound like children.

    Comment by RT — January 24, 2008 @ 6:27 pm

  13. I agree that if the debates were indeed like this I might tune in. I do have one complaint about your rendition, however.

    Do you really think the Secret Service would step into this fray?

    I, for one, think the stalwart men and women in the Secret Service, having spent many, many long hours with Senator Clinton, might have to spend some time determining the proper procedures, protocals and what not before they decided how and when to best intercede. Hopefully, by then, it would be too late.

    Comment by joated — January 24, 2008 @ 6:49 pm

  14. Rather than Wolf Blitzer, perhaps this debate should be hosted by a different Wolf, say Warner (let’s go to the video tape ) Wolf !

    Comment by Angie — January 24, 2008 @ 9:27 pm

  15. …. vote Edwards!…

    Comment by Eric — January 25, 2008 @ 7:53 am

  16. Perfect! :}

    Comment by Joyce — January 25, 2008 @ 12:26 pm

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