February 13, 2008

Jimbo and the Original Dubya.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 6:05 pm



Jimbo: Hello?

GW: Hello. Is this Jimbo from PRS?

Jimbo: Yes it is.

GW: Sorry for bothering you, but someone gave me your name as a person I could call to ask some pretty basic questions. The person said that you would give me the straight story.

Jimbo: Who is this?

GW: Sorry again. I forgot that you would not recognize my voice, but I’m quite sure you’ll recognize my name.

Jimbo: OK, who are you? It’s kind of late.

GW: This is George Washington speaking.

Jimbo: Who the hell is this? Eric? Denny? Who?

GW: I told you. I am George Washington. I know you’ve read about me. I was the first president.

Jimbo: Yo, you’ve wasted enough of my time. See ya.

GW: Wait! I can prove it!

Jimbo: Yeah? This oughta be good.

GW: Do you have one of those base station phones?

Jimbo: Yes.

GW: Good. Go unplug the base station, then remove any batteries from the base station and your handset, then place it all in another room.

Jimbo: This is ridiculous. If I do that, I won’t be able to hear you.

GW: Just do it, please.

Jimbo: (Unplugs phone, removes batteries, places unit in t different room)

GW: Can you still hear me?

Jimbo: Holy crap! Have you activated the speaker phone somehow?

GW: Nope. Only you can hear me.

Jimbo: Whoa! I think I need to sit down. (Sits and takes a couple deep breaths). So what is it you want?

GW: Truth is, I have been doing a lot of resting. Time moves much differently here. Anyway, I have just begun to catch up on things, and invariably I run across things about which I have some questions, which are best asked of someone who is alive today.

Jimbo: I don’t know how you came upon me, but I’ll try to help.

GW: OK, let’s right to it.

Jimbo: OK, Mr. President, how can I help you?

GW: Is it true that there is a colored man and a woman running for the presidency?

Jimbo: Well, we don’t say “colored man” any more, Mr. President.

GW: Oh, that’s right. So, a negro man is running for president?

Jimbo: We don’t say “negro” any more either, Mr. President.

GW: Hmmmm. So, a black man is running for president?

Jimbo: “Black” is better, but that too is not the preferred term nowadays, Mr. President.

GW: Good heavens, man! What is the preferred term then?

Jimbo: We either say, “a person of color” or an “African-American,” Mr. President.

GW: I’m I bit confused here, Jimbo. What is the difference between a “colored person” and a “person of color?”

Jimbo: It’s a good question, sir, for which I’m afraid that I don’t have much of an answer.

GW: Now, this African-American man running for President – is he from Africa?

Jimbo: No, Sir. He was born in the United State. Remember that part of the Constitution that requires ….

GW: Of course! I should have remembered. But surely, a slave can’t run for the presidency?

Jimbo: He’s not a slave, Mr. President. We haven’t had slavery here for about 140 years. You probably heard of the Civil War. That was the war that ended slavery.

GW: I do recall hearing about that. I seem to recall it was a North – South thing. What side was Virginia on, Jimbo.

Jimbo: Virginia sided with the South, Mr. President.

GW: Who won?

Jimbo: The North won, Mr. President.

GW: Oh, my. And, now we have a colored …. I mean, African-American man running for the presidency. That’s quite something, isn’t it?

Jimbo: Yes, Mr. President.

GW: I’ll have to percolate on that a while, Jimbo. Obviously, I have a good deal to catch up on. Now, about the woman running for the presidency, as far as I remember, women couldn’t vote, so how could a woman be running for president?

Jimbo: Women have had the right to vote for a long time now, Mr. President.

GW: And, the Constitution allows this? I cannot remember the exact wording.

Jimbo: Yes, Mr. President. The Constitution does not speak in terms of sex in the portion dealing with the qualifications to be president.

GW: Who knew?

Jimbo: Excuse me, Mr. President?

GW: Sorry, just thinking out loud. Now, I have heard that the woman running for president is actually the wife of a former president. Is that really the case?

Jimbo: Yes, sir, it is.

GW: And who is the former president in question?

Jimbo: It is William Jefferson Clinton, sir. He was usually referred to as “Bill” Clinton.

GW: Strange you call a president “Bill.” I can’t imagine John Adams being called “Jack” Adams or Thomas Jefferson being called “Tommy” Jefferson.

Jimbo: Well, we have had a president who was called “Jack,” and we also had one called “Jimmy.”

GW: Things sure have changed. I am not familiar with this “Bill” Clinton. Would you give me a moment so I can bring him up on my screen and learn about him? It won’t take long. We’ve got some pretty fancy stuff here.

Jimbo: No problem, Mr. President.





GW: Oh my God! Please give me another minute or two to read up on his wife.

Jimbo: Yes, Mr. President.





GW: Jesus Christ! People are actually considering making this woman the president?

Jimbo: Yes, Mr. President.

GW: And they know that he will be with her?

Jimbo: Yes, Mr. President.

GW: I think I need to lie down. I’m feeling a bit sick.

Jimbo: Will that be all, Mr. President?

GW: It is now obvious to me that there is much I have to read up on. Would you mind if I were to get in touch with you from time to time when I have questions?

Jimbo: Absolutely, Mr. President. Any time.

GW: Oh! One more thing before I sign off….

Jimbo: Yes?

GW: It’s about this African-American thing. If a white fellow were born in Africa and came to live in the colonies … I mean the United States, would you call him an African-American?

Jimbo: No, sir. I believe he would be called a white guy.

GW: One thing is for sure, Jimbo.

Jimbo: What’s that, Mr. President?

GW: You folks sure screwed up the language. I don’t know how you manage to talk to one another.

Jimbo: Sometimes it isn’t easy, Mr. President. You will call again, won’t you?

GW: I said I would, and I cannot tell a lie.

Jimbo: Ha!

GW: I thought that might get a rise out of you. Later, Jimbo.


  1. You must write a book. Seriously.
    Genius. Seriously.

    Comment by Jean — February 13, 2008 @ 6:59 pm


    Comment by GUYK — February 13, 2008 @ 7:09 pm

  3. Tremendously enjoyable!!!! Can’t wait until GW calls again…

    Comment by mark c — February 13, 2008 @ 7:18 pm

  4. Hi, yeah…that was me…I gave George, I mean, Mr. President, your name and number, right after I sniffed an entire factory of Sharpieâ„¢ magic markers.

    I also told him what size your cruller was, so you should be expecting a fancy powdered wig, with double-tiered sidecurls, in the mail any day now, as President Washington’s way of saying “Tanks!” They were very big in his day, you know.

    I’d say you’d look like a million bucks, but in reality, you’d probably look more like one buck. Ha. Get it? One buck!

    Comment by Erica — February 13, 2008 @ 7:29 pm

  5. “GW [presumably residing Up There with the Big Guy]: Jesus Christ! People are actually considering making this woman the president?”

    Pure gold. Definitely the funniest thing you’ve written since the adventures of MSgt Jack Steele, who has been absent from the PRS far too long.

    Comment by mike anderson — February 13, 2008 @ 7:58 pm

  6. Great stuff, Jimbo. I was reading today that Nancy Pelosi may endorse Obama. Is it time for a Nancy / Hillary bitch-slap cat-fight?

    Comment by Jerry — February 13, 2008 @ 8:06 pm

  7. Excellent! Good read!

    Comment by hammer — February 13, 2008 @ 9:11 pm

  8. Can’t wait to hear what he has to say when he finishes reading up on the woman and the colored guy. *grin*

    Comment by Teresa — February 13, 2008 @ 9:59 pm

  9. Great stuff! Can’t wait for GW to come back.

    Comment by LeeAnn — February 13, 2008 @ 10:02 pm

  10. Jimbo gets hailed by George Washington. All I get are robocalls. Yes I’m a little hurt.

    Comment by dogette — February 13, 2008 @ 10:32 pm

  11. Hey Jimbo : If GW calls back ask him if Hell ery wins the oval office can she name her hubby VP or Sec of State or any other neat little job he wants . I checked the 25th Amendment ( You’ll have to update GW on that ) and it says nothing about appointed positions just elected ….that would make the Rose Law Firm records look like childs play ..

    Comment by bass — February 13, 2008 @ 11:43 pm

  12. Coming back from school this evening I was listening to the news on the radio. They were talking about the how Obama was leading. Then the announcer ( a Thai) read Hillary’s name as Hillary Rotten Clinton. He quickly changed it to Rodham, but I thought I would laugh my ass off.

    Comment by Gerald — February 14, 2008 @ 10:30 am

  13. GW: You folks sure screwed up the language. I don’t know how you manage to talk to one another.

    Most timely! Most entertainingly truthful! :~}

    Comment by Joyce — February 14, 2008 @ 4:51 pm

  14. … beautiful, Jimbo… absolutely beautiful…. and hey, if I call you up, I will pretend to be Zachary Taylor…..

    Comment by Eric — February 14, 2008 @ 6:43 pm

  15. Brilliant!

    Comment by joated — February 15, 2008 @ 2:14 pm

  16. Priceless!

    Comment by mike r. — February 15, 2008 @ 4:45 pm

  17. Ah my friend Jim…
    To think I recently sat in the chair and hallowed study/library of the ultimate BLOGMEISTER — you, my favorite Bloglodyte! AND was privvy to hearing your ideas on the seminal dialog for the phone call from George. And now…I get to read it!? SWEET! And really funny. You da’ Man! – Stardust.
    PS who is Erika…I like the irreverent way she thinks

    Comment by Stardust Shrink — February 16, 2008 @ 3:35 pm

  18. Holy crap, this is hysterical. That means there is more to come! Yay!

    Funny story… I missed this last week. I hit the ‘Ivan, your Lawn Ornaments have arrived’, but for some reason didn’t see this. My Mom emailed me today and said, “If you’ve not been over to PRS, you need to go and read his conversation with George Washington.” Heh. You made the family email and it had NOTHING to do with alligators! 🙂

    Comment by Bou — February 19, 2008 @ 4:33 pm

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