April 11, 2008

Friday — Direct From Cruller to Keyboard.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 9:31 pm

1. Yesterday’s Accident Number 1: I cut my right thumb and index finger opening a bottle of vodka. It was a fancy-schmancy bottle with which I was gifted. (psssst…French). I bled like a farookin’ pig, which, or course, required a couple band-aids and an extra vodka.

2. Yesterday’s Accident Number 2: I smacked my head into the garage door while it was in the process of opening. Usually I open the garage door by pushing the button on the widget in the house and walking out to the garage. This time I forgot to push the in-house widget button, but instead used the keypad near the garage door itself to open the door. Obviously, my internal clock was still thinking in-house widget. And, you wonder why I will never, ever operate a chainsaw? No injuries beyond an “Ouch, Goddammit!” but it did mess up my hair. Believe it or not, Accident Number 1 had nothing to do with Accident Number 2. Really.

3. American Stupid: I saw enough of American Stupid Idol the other night to see the white guy who needs a shave get booted off the island after all the silly emotion-building “right after this break” bullshit. The audience was absolutely crestfallen. We’re farookin’ doomed.

4. Read this shit and tell me why we shouldn’t kick the U.N. out of this country. (h/t Wiseass Jooette)

5. Would you rather drink a gallon of gorilla piss or fly across the country? Close call. More later.

6. I saw an advertisement for an upcoming “reality” show (History Channel? Discovery Channel? Can’t remember), which apparently follows exterminators around while they kill zillions of roaches, rats and other nasty shit. Yo, Peeps! TURN. OFF. THE. TUBE. READ. A. GODDAMNED. BOOK.

7. Some of you Peeps have way too much moving-around shite in your sidebars, causing your page to take too goddamned long to load. That’s my non-geekazoid opinion, anyway.

8. I gather that the “March Madness” thing is over, and I totally missed it. I figure it’s like totally missing the flu.

9. Looks like I’m crapping out before I hit number 10. It’s been a rough week.


  1. Some of you Peeps have way too much moving-around shite in your sidebars…

    Not me – I hate moving stuff… makes my eyes cross. If I’m ever stupid enough to put that crap on my sidebar – it might be for something like saving the life of a soldier – nothing else would be worth the pain of looking at it. heh.

    Comment by Teresa — April 11, 2008 @ 11:02 pm

  2. I think none of my shite moves. Well, not on my sidebar.

    Meanwhile, back to this reality TV stuff. My kids watch some of this… well.. back to… shite. Actually, I find it fascinating that they can learn so much, like how to make a screwdriver or a hockey mask and if they want, they can sit and watch some fool show them how to survive in the desert while using a camel carcas for… well… everything. It was mucho bizarro. They watch some guy do some really nasty jobs.

    But I think the highlight for me, as a mother, with all this reality TV, was when I took one of my kids to ‘take your child to work day’ and on one of my workmate’s cubes is a picture of three meerkats, each being labeled with a name of a co-worker. My then 10 year old leaned over to me and said, “Mom, mom… mooooom, I’ve seen meerkats… mate.”

    Lovely. TIME to turn OFF the TV. Who cares that he knows 10X more things than I EVER knew at his age, the kids needs to spend more time reading. Bah!

    Comment by Bou — April 11, 2008 @ 11:12 pm

  3. Checked your link about the UN. This Truther is a prefessor emeritus at Princeton? We didn’t use our time in town last Saturda in a productive manner.

    Einstein is spinning in his grave.

    On a side note: Driving aroud Princeton last week I noticed many of the streets named for Ivy League Universities and or nearby universities. But there was no Rutgers Drive/Ave/Road to be found. Interestingly, there was street named for Paul Robeson, the first All-Amercan fottball player from Rutgers. I figure they named it after him because of his politics, not his athletics or operatic singing. Robeson was most definitely a Scarlet (as in communist) Knight and made speeches tat Rev. J. Wright would have been proud of.

    Comment by joated — April 12, 2008 @ 7:23 am

  4. Jimbo,
    I don’t like the moving shite on the sidebars either. Or the auto-loading song that comes unexpectedly blaring from my speakers.

    Pretty funny about the garage door. I thought I was the only one who did stuff like that.

    Comment by Jerry — April 12, 2008 @ 8:30 am

  5. hmmm, I can now understand why you do not have a chain saw

    Comment by GUYK — April 12, 2008 @ 9:08 am

  6. In my humble opinion The History Channel and the Discovery Channel are two of the finest channels on television.

    Comment by Kevin — April 12, 2008 @ 11:21 am

  7. I’m with joated. Still fuming over it, as it’s not a Jersey blogmeet unless we whack some douchebag anti-Semite liberal f**kface in the head, or, as you like to say, push them out of a helicopter.

    I cannot think of anything more offensive at the moment than having some professor emeritus suggest that we are responsible for 9/11.

    He probably thinks no Jews showed up to work that day, too. I would go BACK to Jersey just to be able to make him eat dirt.

    Oh, and dude. Sorry you hurt yourself. I’m sure it’s because of all the not nice stuff you say about Brooklyn. I mean, jeez. I never say shit about where you come from.

    Instant karma. Just add vodka. And stir.

    Comment by Erica — April 12, 2008 @ 11:42 am

  8. Kevin —

    No argument from me on the History and Discovery Channels. They probably account for 90% of my television time.


    Comment by Jim — April 12, 2008 @ 12:37 pm

  9. 1) For God’s sake, Jimbo – never, ever run with scissors…
    2) How much damage to the garage door?
    3) Books. This is why they invented books.
    4) I dunno why we ever let the U.N. build here, never mind kicking them out before now.
    5) I’ll take 2X gorilla piss, thank you.
    6) The current crop of ‘reality’ shows are anything but. If Discovery/History/whatever is reduced to duplicating drivel, our culture is doomed.
    7) I have a little shite on my sidebars, but it doesn’t move – I’m with you on that one.
    8) You didn’t miss it; you successfully avoided it. Good for you.
    9) Feh. What’s a list item among friends? 🙂

    Comment by DMerriman — April 12, 2008 @ 3:09 pm

  10. I can’t wait to hear “more later” about the cross-country flight. I’m sure it was quite pleasant.

    Comment by dogette — April 12, 2008 @ 7:32 pm

  11. dude… sorry ’bout your noggin’ and your farookin’ hair.

    sh!t happens.

    If you need some pleasant relief… youtube search “gator hunt”… and watch a couple of ’em. That ought to make you fell better and you won’t see that sh!t on Tv. I don’t care what channel you watch…

    Comment by RedNeck — April 12, 2008 @ 9:30 pm

  12. I’m down on number 7 with you. I have to use the dreaded AOL to visit some blogs, because they lock up on IE and Firefox. Actually, most WordPress blogs, including yours are pretty sketchy in IE. Haven’t figured that one out yet.

    Comment by gregor — April 13, 2008 @ 7:38 pm

  13. “…it did mess up my hair.”

    Not possible.

    Comment by Mr. Bingley — April 14, 2008 @ 7:31 am

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL

Leave a comment

Powered by WordPress