Taxing Times.
I just wrote out my income tax check payable to the order of the U.S. Treasury. I would like to take this opportunity to say:
To all of you who pay no tax and get lots of free stuff from the government; and
To all of you are here illegally and get lots of free stuff from the government; and
To all of you who get paid “under the table†and pay a fraction of the taxes you should be paying according to law (as screwed up as that is); and
To all of you who bought houses you should have damned well known you couldn’t afford; and
To all of you who are getting “stimulus†checks from the U.S. Treasury; and
To all of you who are getting New Jersey property tax rebate checks; and
To all of you who have been on the receiving end of congressional PORK; and
To all those shithead politicians who earned your votes by giving you truckloads of congressional PORK; and
To that insufferable prick Matthew Lesko; and
To all of you who bought that insufferable prick’s books,
YOU’RE WELCOME.
And, to all of you who counted on my voluntary donations, as you have in past years, I apologize that they may be somewhat smaller this year, because the government knows best where my money should go.
Jimbo..now that is what you get for being productive. You need to retire, get your socialable security check and move on down here and fight the alligators and retired NY City drivers
Comment by GUYK — April 14, 2008 @ 8:08 pm
Every once in a while, I feel like I should break left and keep a relatively low profile. Now is one of those times. Since I didn’t exactly ask to receive a stimulus check, and haven’t even gotten one yet, would it be the right thing to do to just send it back?
Trust me, dude…not to sound like a commie, which I most definitely am not, but I know work my ass off and have the gray hairs to prove it, put in long hours, put up with a lot of retarded bullshit…and as thanks for all my trouble, my health insurance premiums go up exactly three weeks to the day after we get our three percent raise.
Sometimes I wonder if, even if I left my job at a Mega Corporation, would things be much different? Obviously I am doing something wrong, but dang, it kind of hurts to be lumped together with the same peeps who sit on their asses and do nothing, when I know, after 10-12 hour days, I am not one of those peeps.
You hear where I’m coming from, right?
Comment by Erica — April 14, 2008 @ 8:48 pm
You can write off donations, right? HA!
Comment by RT — April 14, 2008 @ 8:56 pm
Taxes are the price we pay for civilized society.
Comment by Kevin — April 14, 2008 @ 9:20 pm
My accountant called me Saturday morning to tell me what we owed. I almost threw up. It’s so ugly… its not blog fodder.
Comment by Bou — April 14, 2008 @ 9:21 pm
uh, um, thank you, i guess.
i actually can’t sleep at night i’m so worried they are going to come take away my republican party status as I pay not nearly enough in taxes. rough breaks, dude.
i suggest you divorce your wife just after you adopt a dozen babies. she’s a nice lady jim, she’s beautiful, but she’s a lousy write off. seek qualified counsel, but i think my advice is worth consideration.
Comment by supergurl — April 14, 2008 @ 10:23 pm
Ah… the pain of the IRS check… ****pats Jimbo gently on his farookin’ great hair**** I’m sorry – been there – done that. We were able to finagle things better this year but I have been there in years past when the pain of writing the huge check was terrible.
Comment by Teresa — April 14, 2008 @ 11:42 pm
“To all of you who bought houses you should have damned well known you couldn’t afford”
As this is one of those rare points that you and I agree on, I had to comment!
Do you know the defense people give? Well, I will tell you…. “The brokers made them do it!” It makes me sick, they want people to feel sorry for them.
I still have my house, and do you know why? I’ll tell you why! I only purchased what I could pay for; not a difficult thought process, really! I will admit that sometimes it is hard coming up with that house payment every month, darn difficult at times, but somehow, every month, it gets paid. That certainly would not have happened if I had purchased what the brokers told me I was “approved forâ€, approved for and able to afford are two different worlds, these people should have known that.
Part of my job is foreclosure, I used to hate it, now, bothers me very little, sorry it is the truth. Statistically speaking a majority of the homes foreclosed on over the last year did NOT have adjustable rates, that scam is not the problem, yet. So, the “Evil Brokers” forcing these poor souls into adjustable rate mortgages that they can now not afford is not the “Total Picture”, not by a long shot. I actually had one person threaten to “press charges” (giggle) because the mortgage company didn’t check the stated income on their loan application. They had lied on the application and even that can be blamed on someone other than them!
So, I purchased my little piece of crap, which we fix up bit by bit, when the money is there. I did the right thing and what is the result? My tax dollars are now being spent to pay off THEIR mortgage.
I HATE ELECTION YEAR!
Love,
You’re Liberal Friend-Michelle
Comment by Michelle — April 15, 2008 @ 1:01 am
The government ALWAYS knows what’s best for us… duh! And why should we voluntarily donate money to what WE want to donate it to when the government can force us, I mean, do it for us? And since they know what’s best for us, they’ll spend it wisely. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
I do love this country… just wish it wasn’t so broken.
Comment by Zooomabooma — April 15, 2008 @ 5:44 am
Amen. And may I add, for all the shithead politicians who support the Alternative Minimum Tax, thanks for punishing me for getting a job AND buying a house we could afford.
Idiots.
Comment by rita — April 15, 2008 @ 6:28 am
I really liked the comment about houses people cannot afford…..When I worked for one of the big evil corporations my boss got promoted. Even though he had added on to his existing huge house & took out a second mortgage & in debt to his eyeballs, he purchased a newer bigger place in a newer trendier subdivision with a bigger mortgage that featured a variable teaser rate.
He rationalized the move as more befitting his upgraded company social status, his ability to manage more debt or so he said when he bought a new boat, two new vehicles & joined a more upscale country club to play Golf with his new associates even though his golf skills would bring snickers at a Putt Putt course.
First he was demoted when our company was acquired by a competitor, was transferred to another city, had to sell his new house at a huge loss where he bought another hotel sized home then was terminated as he did not fit in with the local boys.Lost that house as well.
I really was not too sympathetic as he was sort of a pompous asshat.I doubt he ever learned his lesson about living with in his means.
Comment by dudley1 — April 15, 2008 @ 7:50 am
Jim,
My four rebate-qualified children and I thank you from the bottoms of our hearts for your generous and thoughtful contribution to our family deficit reduction program. When I get my direct deposit during the week of May 16th, I will think warmly of you when I turn it around to finally pay off an evil credit card bill from my mis-spent youth.
Comment by Ken Adams — April 15, 2008 @ 9:35 am
Year after year we had to borrow the money to pay our taxes. The banker would say, “You should be glad, it means that you’re making money.”
Huh?! Where was it? I never saw it. We paid off our place in ten years. By borrowing every year – it’s called an operating loan. By working our butts off. No vacations, No days off. You don’t take your work home with you as a “small farmer”. You are at work 24/7. If you look at the window, and there’s a cow on the road – you get her in. Then you go fix the fence. Even if it is your neighbor’s. Good or bad.
This year I am getting a check for 2007. Why? Because I paid quarterly – both personal & estate taxes. And I apparently overpaid.
Comment by moos — April 15, 2008 @ 9:49 am
“Giving money and power to government is like giving car keys and whiskey to teenage boys.” — P.J. O’Rourke.
Comment by DMerriman — April 15, 2008 @ 10:32 am
We could pave the roads with gold and have champagne instead of tap water if we copuld just end these worthless entitlement programs, pork and welfare for those too lazy to work.
Comment by hammer — April 15, 2008 @ 1:40 pm
Amen!
Comment by oddybobo — April 15, 2008 @ 2:59 pm
I agree. Those who are able to work should do so. There are jobs for those who want to work.
Comment by Kevin — April 15, 2008 @ 7:10 pm
Well I gotta say, this post had suspense that just built and built, and it said everything I want to say BEAUTIFULLY. Not to be critical, Jimbo, but I was surprised (and a little disappointed) to read the bigass “YOU’RE WELCOME” toward the end. I thought you were gonna go ahead and yell . . . well, you know. Something *I* would yell.
Comment by dogette — April 16, 2008 @ 7:10 am
We had extra taken out of our checks each month in hopes of not having to write a HUGE check to the IRS…we still ended up writing a check, but not as large as it could have been.
Our “rebate” will also go to paying off debt.
I’ve been shaking my head for years over the huge houses that people were buying, when they couldn’t even afford to FURNISH the house. Just insane! And then, the crackerbox houses would be built so close to the next that you could stand inbetween them and touch the walls of either house. One match, and that whole subdivision goes up in smoke!
I’ve a friend who bought way too much house, and she’s struggling. She should have bought where I told her to. Then, we’d be neighbors and she’d not be worried about making her house payment every month.
Comment by Nancy — April 16, 2008 @ 2:33 pm
All I can say to that is this:
GOD DAMN right.
I get pissed off when I hear people say, “I am getting a big check from the government!”
They’re so dumb….don’t they know they loaned the government money INTEREST free?
It would be real nice if we could charge the IRS interest for holding onto our money for a year, not to mention the IRS has NO problems in charging interest and fees if your taxes are sent in late.
Go figure…and yet the government has the balls to talk about monopolies.
Sort of an irony isn’t it?
Comment by Braden — April 17, 2008 @ 9:40 pm