Barack and Michelle – Splitsville!!
Lebanon, Indiana. Barack Obama, having recently disassociated himself from Jeremiah Wright, his pastor for more than twenty years, Obama today announced that he is divorcing his wife, Michelle.
In a hastily-called press conference, Senator Obama stated, “Today I have commenced divorced proceedings against my wife, Michelle. It was a difficult decision, but many of her recent statements about America are divisive and do not represent my views. This is not the woman I have come to know over the past sixteen years. Her unfortunate statements serve only to distract Americans from the issues that are critical today for the future of the United States.â€
Senator Obama refused to answer a virtual barrage of questions from shocked members of the press, stating that he was already late for his next campaign stop, which will be at a local gun club for skeet shooting and prayer.
Good God, what’s next? Fred Phelps leaves congregation at Westboro Baptist Church to minister to and perform wedding ceremonies for gay couples in the Castro District?
Comment by Erica — May 1, 2008 @ 8:15 pm
HEY! I just heard that yore dim-a-crit friends in Joisey were gonna add a two percent tax on fast food..calling it a fat tax
Comment by GUYK — May 1, 2008 @ 8:25 pm
Oh come on,She would never give him permission to divorce. She deserves to be the first affirmative-action first lady.
Comment by ck — May 1, 2008 @ 8:48 pm
He’ll be hitting on Hitlary now.
Comment by Dave S. — May 2, 2008 @ 2:10 pm
Obama also reminded the Lebanon, IN crowd that he was raised by his white mama (a Teamster) who liked to play Patsy Cline and Loretta Lynn records and play scratch-off lottery tickets.
I cannot believe that Bill is in my hometown tonight. I’m glad I’m in Houston this week. Ugggh. They’ll all be gone on Tuesday. Thank God!
Comment by Jerry — May 2, 2008 @ 4:40 pm
Hey, I like to play Patsy Cline and Loretta Lynn records, too, and play scratch-off lottery AND Mega Millions…don’t mean my first-born is anymore qualified to be POTUS than some douchebag noob who’s accomplished little to nothing short of campaigning for president since he’s been in office.
Comment by Erica — May 2, 2008 @ 6:44 pm
Jimbo:
You are so DAMN funny.
Comment by Lee — May 3, 2008 @ 3:27 am
You say “di-vi-siv”
I say “di-vy-siv”
Di-vi-siv, di-vy-siv,
Let’s call the whole thing off.
Comment by dogette — May 3, 2008 @ 9:07 am