May 2, 2008

“Going to the Bathroom.”

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 7:37 pm

Think a minute about the idiomatic expressions, “going to the bathroom” and “went to the bathroom.”



Doctor: Are you having difficulty going to the bathroom?

Patient: No, I get there just fine, but once I’m there I can’t seem to shit.


Doctor: So, when you go to the bathroom, what color is it?

Patient: It’s this sickening pink with black trim that was popular in the sixties.


Joe: Jeez, I heard ol’ Ed was at work and he went to the bathroom in his pants.

Pete: Not exactly. He tried to go to the bathroom, but before he could get there he shit in his pants.


Q: Did you go to the bathroom in your pants?

A: I generally go everywhere in my pants.


The baby went to the bathroom in his diaper.

Yo, the kid’s three weeks old. He can walk?


Dammit, the dog went to the bathroom upstairs!

Huh? The bathroom is downstairs.

Conclusion: There simply is no accounting for why I think of this kind of goofy shit.


  1. Jimbo, I’d like to experience how your mind works for about 5 minutes — if I thought I could recover from it!

    Comment by DMerriman — May 2, 2008 @ 8:33 pm

  2. About as stupid sounding as “making love.”

    Oh really?

    Actually, everyone thinks they’ve invented it for the first time.

    Geeze, Jimbo. I worry about you.


    Comment by Joan of Argghh — May 2, 2008 @ 9:03 pm

  3. “Have you had a hard time making stool?”

    “Well, yeah… I’m no wood worker. What’s that got to do with a possible hemorrhoid?”

    Comment by T1G — May 2, 2008 @ 10:28 pm

  4. Passing gas? Breaking wind? Blowing chow? Thanks, Jimbo… now you’ve got me started.

    Comment by T1G — May 2, 2008 @ 10:34 pm

  5. Driving on the Parkway… Parking on the Driveway… ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…

    Comment by Mike R. — May 2, 2008 @ 11:30 pm

  6. Doctor: Are you writing about going to the bathroom on your blog?

    Patient Jimbo: My inner life is a rich and complex tapestry of ideas.

    Comment by dogette — May 3, 2008 @ 9:02 am

  7. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! That is all…

    Comment by Teresa — May 3, 2008 @ 4:26 pm

  8. And now you’ve got ME going too…

    “vacuum cleaner” – by definition, a vacuum can’t be ‘dirty’; the device is an Air Pressure Soil Collection Unit.

    “drive-through window” – I’ve never seen one that was meant to be driven through; when it DOES happen, the owner(s) generally get a little testy.

    “Freeway” – then how come we gotta pay taxes for them?

    “rush hour” – (courtesy of a Mork and Mindy episode) why do they call it ‘rush hour’ when everything moves so slowly?

    George Carlin does a great routine on the matter of ‘taking a shit’ (“Don’t take one of mine – I’ve only got two left, and the weekend is coming up.”)

    Comment by DMerriman — May 3, 2008 @ 6:29 pm

  9. This post was so funny, it made me go to the bathroom.

    In my pants.

    Then I went to the laundry room…to clean the shit outta my pants. ‘Cause I didn’t make it to the bathroom before I went to the bathroom.

    Comment by Elisson — May 5, 2008 @ 5:34 am

  10. Not much makes me laugh, but this shit just cracked me up.

    Comment by That Dude — May 6, 2008 @ 3:42 pm

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