June 23, 2008

More Hawaii: The Good, The Not-So-Good, The Bad and the Ugly.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 9:13 pm

The Good. Hawaiian beer. The local brews on Kauai and Kona are, quite simply, excellent. On Kauai, the Keoki Brewery and Waimea Brewery offer up suds that will properly quench a rain-forest thirst, and while on the Big Island one should not miss the Kona Brewing Company’s Fire Rock Pale Ale and the Longboard Lager. I tried to drink enough to pick out a fave, but I couldn’t decide, so I left some for youse guys.

The Not-So-Good. Street signs. For the approximately 8,000 people who actually speak Hawaiian and the thousands more Islanders who are accustomed to seeing the various repetitive combination of mostly vowels, street signs post no problem. However, for us mainlanders, trying to read street signs from a fast-moving car is a bitch.

”Yo, Jimbo. What was the name of that street we just passed?”

“Damned if I know. I saw a bunch of O’s, U’s and A’s. We better turn around.”

The Bad. Hawaiian popcorn. I’m prepared to admit that the bag I got could have been an outlier, but all I can say is that an unpopped kernel busted one of my teeth (could have been a crown, I’m not sure). Fortunately, it didn’t result in any pain while on the Islands, but I will be in the dentist’s chair tomorrow in order to assess the dental and financial damage.

The Ugly. Ass-Kicking Cold. Since yesterday, I have been sporting a gorilla-stompin’, coughing, hacking and wheezing cold. My guess is that it came from spending all that time in multiple planes surrounded by dipshits who think coughing and sneezing while not covering their pieholes is OK. I feel and look like Fido’s ass at the moment, and as soon as I post this turd I will seek the world of horizontal.



  1. I think it’s just being on planes period – especially for extended periods while having your usual schedule thrown out the window. Does bad things to the metabolism it does.

    But… you had a terrific time while you were there that rocks!

    Hope the nasty cold passes soon. Get some of those zinc lozenges. I hear they help.

    Comment by Teresa — June 23, 2008 @ 9:18 pm

  2. I’ve heard Hawaiian described as the only language with 21 vowels and 5 consonants.

    Comment by DMerriman — June 23, 2008 @ 9:20 pm

  3. Longboard is damn good. Hawaii is great. Any luck locating Hoffa lately?

    Comment by Cappy — June 23, 2008 @ 9:39 pm

  4. Hawaiian Street Signs. I could never remember the names of any streets (or towns). I just knew it began with a K.

    Comment by Jerry — June 23, 2008 @ 10:02 pm

  5. Could there be some sort of air quality differance between NJ and Hawaii? I didn’t think so, has to be the airplane peoples.

    Comment by james old guy — June 24, 2008 @ 9:00 am

  6. I recently did some traveling and had the same thing happen, Jimbo. Bad cold right when I got back. It’s definitely from the planes and the assholes — hundreds and hundreds of them — who weren’t taught to cover their noses and mouths in public when they sneeze or cough.


    Hope you feel better.

    Comment by dogette — June 24, 2008 @ 4:11 pm

  7. Bird Flu, Jimbo?

    Comment by sinister linda — June 24, 2008 @ 4:14 pm

  8. Airplane people. That has to be it. That is why they need alligators on airplanes. To get rid of the nasty airplane people so innocents, like you, will be safe from wayward germs.

    Comment by aithne — June 24, 2008 @ 6:47 pm

  9. Presently have an abscessed fang. I feel you man. My wife says my face looks like one of the “whos” in the damned cartoon grinch that stole Christmas. I feel like I’ve got a tire iron and an air pump plugged in some where and look, in the mirror like a chipmunk with a nail stuck in his pie hole. Penicillin my ass. I want some sleepy pills. At least you didn’t see no gators…

    Comment by RedNeck — June 24, 2008 @ 9:33 pm

  10. I lived in Hawaii for three years. Gorgeous place, beautiful beaches, worst local food ever.
    Don’t get me started on the rest of it….

    As for the tooth? Vodka.
    The cold? Vodka?
    Sun came up this morning? Vodka.
    You see where I’m going with this.

    Comment by LeeAnn — June 25, 2008 @ 11:52 am

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