October 6, 2008

A Letter to Barney.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 7:50 pm

Dear Congressman Frank:

I will be perfectly frank (no pun intended – well, maybe).

In my opinion, you are thoroughly detestable.

You have the Moxie to say with a straight face that the Fannie Mae mess was entirely the result of George Bush’s “failed policies,” when you were one of the most vocal opponents of increased regulatory control of this social engineering experiment gone bad? (Oh, and let me add that you almost swallow your tongue when you say “policies.” It’s seriously disgusting.).

Furthermore, you took such a position all the while knowing that you had no business voting on legislation affecting Fannie Mae, because of a conflict of interest that arose from your boyfriend’s holding a responsible position at Fannie Mae. For that, at a minimum, you should be removed from the House Financial Services Committee. If I had my way, you would be booted out of the House of Representatives and, better yet, you would do some time in the Graybar Hotel.

Finally, may I say that I hate looking at you? You are as homely as a bag of assholes and not having goddamned teeth only makes things worse. Chrissake, I have to believe you make enough money to spring for some goddamned teeth. You can always take them out, in private, if you catch my drift.

Very truly yours,


P.S. I seem to have neglected mentioning that I think you are an asshole. Sorry for the omission.

P.P.S. Having re-read this, it occurs to me that if you lose your congressional seat, you’re a natural to serve as Governor of New Jersey. You’d win in a landslide.


  1. Oh no. You didn’t.

    “You can always take them out, in private, if you catch my drift.”

    Yes. Yes, you did.

    Hairboy, Hairboy, Hairboy. Thith ith a very hateful potht, and I urge you to look inthide yourthelf and examine jutht where thith vitriol comesth from.

    Oh, right…I forgot. Itsth Buth’s failed polithies.

    Comment by Erica — October 6, 2008 @ 8:01 pm

  2. My asshole doesn’t have teeth either.

    Comment by Charlie — October 6, 2008 @ 8:15 pm

  3. …. Charlie has a point…….

    Comment by Eric — October 6, 2008 @ 8:49 pm

  4. holy shit that was funny

    Comment by Mike R. — October 6, 2008 @ 10:12 pm

  5. Damn straight! This little fairy needs to be tarred and feathered and ridden out of town on a rail. D’ja see today that he is now spouting off that all of this attack on FM and FM is just a bunch of GOP racism at its finest. WHAT.A.PUTZ! Jeez, this boy has been eating too many…well, never mind. He can’t think and he is an absolutely pathetic moron. I will celebrate the day that he gets his huge ass booted out of Congress. Putz!

    Comment by Lee — October 6, 2008 @ 10:45 pm

  6. Jimbo, you were far, far too kind.

    Funny as hell, correct in every detail, but still too kind.

    Comment by DMerriman — October 6, 2008 @ 11:33 pm

  7. I know it’s unfashionable to admit that I watch O’Reilly, but Jimbo, I hope you saw this clip. O’Reilly speaks for me here, only he didn’t cuss like I would have because he was on TV.

    Comment by dogette — October 7, 2008 @ 8:10 am

  8. You could also write the same letter to the other Barney. You know: that great big purple fuck.

    But that might be a distinction without a (meaningful) difference.

    Comment by Elisson — October 7, 2008 @ 11:32 am


    Comment by GUYK — October 8, 2008 @ 11:17 am

  10. Sending Barny to the Greybar Hotel would be like sentencing me to serve a stretch at the Playboy Mansion.

    The asshole would be in heaven! Punish him by putting him in the woman’s unit!

    Comment by nosmo — October 8, 2008 @ 11:36 am

  11. Oh my. I’m still laughing at this one. I especially like the commenter who mentioned “my asshole doesn’t have teeth either”


    Comment by Carmen — October 8, 2008 @ 4:22 pm

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