December 19, 2008

Snow, Sleet, Slop … Feh!

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 5:43 pm

The weather folks were quite certain that snow was coming our way. I knew they were right, because, with many years of snow experience, one can actually smell impending snow (no kidding), and it smelled like snow.

In anticipation of the promised snow, I picked up a new gas can and some bottles of gookum that has to be mixed with the gas (2-cycle engine oil for you wrench peeps), then filled up the gas can, mixed in the gookum and filled up the Big, Fat, Black Capitalist Car while I was at it. Of course, I never touched the gas pump, for in New Jersey we don’t pump our own gas (Yes!!).

Upon arriving back to the House by the Parkway, I made sure that I filled the calcium chloride ice-melting-stuff bottle/sprinklers, and got two snow shovels out of the garage and positioned one in the front of the house for shoveling the front steps and the other in the back, poised to shovel off the deck.

Damn, I felt very responsible.

About an hour or so into the snowfall, it was clear that these were not snow flurries, but the real deal. I went outside to drag the snowblower from the shed (dragging it across the yard in deep snow is a bummer) to position it in the garage for later use.

Then, I acted like someone who just moved here from Florida.

I thought, “Yo, even though it is snowing like a bastard, I’ll fire up the snowblower and get a jump on the cleanup.” About thirty minutes of snow blowing later, I looked a bit like the abominable snowdoosh, and the driveway and sidewalk looked as if they had never been cleaned. I know that my friend Richmond has to snowblow while the snow is still falling in order to keep from being totally buried, but, hey, that’s Wis-farookin’-consin. I shoulda known better.

So, the then-current game plan was to wait until the snow stops before I head outside to snowblow. Problem is that the heavy snow has now turned into icy rain and freakin’ sleet, which, of course turns everything to slop that is as heavy as concrete. Worse yet, the forecast says that it will turn back into snow later tonight. My game plan is in the dumper.

I hate this shit.

I do, however, have plenty of vodka on hand.

11 Comments »

  1. You are the man! If you were to stop working and buy a nice little condo, wired, so you could play your music right here in Sun City Center, you would be in heaven.

    Just wanted you to know, I just finished washing my golf cart and the car…….great day in the “Sunshine” state 80 degrees now for a couple of beers, would have been hard liquor, but my investments tanked….Oh, I did the washing in my swimsuit…….

    Make a snowman for me……Jer

    Comment by Jerry Ludwig — December 19, 2008 @ 5:54 pm

  2. Ha! The “abominable snowdoosh.” Love it!

    If the shoe fits…

    Comment by Erica — December 19, 2008 @ 6:07 pm

  3. The last sentence is the most important…and the most obvious.

    Comment by joated — December 19, 2008 @ 8:32 pm

  4. Snow? That pretty, sparkly stuff? You hate it?

    We don’t have that in Florida, do we?
    Nope.

    Now that I am unemployed, I can appreciate the winters here even more. All day, sunshine.

    Stay warm, Jimbo 😉

    Comment by Jean — December 19, 2008 @ 8:43 pm

  5. Plenty of Vodka (or other spirits) during this time of year is a MUST. Stay warm, Jimbo!! 🙂

    Comment by Richmond — December 19, 2008 @ 9:27 pm

  6. This brought back memories of life in New Jersey and Connecticut.

    But, hey, it was 72 degrees here today. I’m still wearing the T-shirt and shorts I’ve had on all day.

    I’ve got vodka, too…but I don’t need it for antifreeze.

    Enjoy. And stay warm.

    Comment by Elisson — December 19, 2008 @ 11:37 pm

  7. With sufficient quantities of vodka (or other adult beverage), does the weather outside really matter?

    Comment by DMerriman — December 20, 2008 @ 12:33 am

  8. Snow. Started at about 3pm and it’s now 1am. Looks like it’s about 10 inches.

    My husband will be out with the snow blower in the morning and I will be at my computer wrestling with a recalcitrant office computer… not sure which job is worse. Heh.

    Comment by Teresa — December 20, 2008 @ 1:45 am

  9. Hmmmm, lets analyze this a bit..warm weather, no sleet and snow, flowers blooming in December, semi-crooked politicians, press one for English, and alligators. OR: mostly crooked democrat politicians, press one for English, close to NY City, and snow and ice in December. Seems like a no brainer but people still choose to live in Joisey…go figure

    Comment by GUYK — December 20, 2008 @ 8:45 am

  10. I love the smell of yellow snow in the morning! It smells like victory…or…New Jersey.

    Comment by JihadGene — December 20, 2008 @ 1:39 pm

  11. Sounds like my weekend minus the snowblower. I had to shovel it! Mucho Vodka consumed!

    Comment by Vipergirl — December 22, 2008 @ 10:04 am

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