January 10, 2009

Obama’s Morning Joe.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 5:22 pm

We’ve heard much about the role that Joe Biden will play in The One’s administration. Again, PRS Operatives have managed to plant listening devices in the Office of the President-elect.

Here’s what we heard this morning:

B_O: Good morning, Joe. Thanks for stopping by, and thanks for bringing the coffee..

Biden: Hey, Barack. I’m here, just like you asked. How are you today?

B_O: I’m fine, Joe, but it’s “Mr. President-elect,” not Barack. You might as well get used to it.


B_O: Was there something else?

Biden: Sure is, Bara – I mean, Mr. President-elect. I’m here for the regular meetings you said we would be having on, your know, important topics.

B_O: When did I say that?

Biden: During the campaign. Surely you remember.

B_O: I suppose so. So, what’s on your mind?

Biden: Well, I thought I could share my thoughts with you on the Middle East problem. I do have a great deal of experience and expertise in that area. Most important, I think is the current fighting between Hamas and —

B_O: Joe! What the hell is wrong with you?

Biden: Excuse me?

B_O: I specifically told you SKIM MILK with no sugar! This is REGULAR MILK, and it’s loaded with sugar. I ask you again; what the hell is wrong with you?

Biden: Jeez, I’m sorry. I had no idea it was that big a deal. Anyway, back to the Middle East. I think our position with respect to Israel should be ––

B_O: Joe!

Biden: Yes?

B_O: Go and get the right goddamned coffee. Now!

Biden: But what about our meeting?

B_O: We just had it.

Biden: But you promised that we would meet every day, Mr. President-elect.

B_O: And we will. I have you slotted in between 8:00 and 8:02 a.m. Bring the coffee, and be sure to get it right.

Biden: So, that’s it?

B_O: Yeah, that’s it.


B_O: Well, there is one other thing…..

Biden: Great! What is it?

B_O: Next time, remember: SKIM MILK and NO GODDAMNED SUGAR!


  1. Heh. : )

    And yeah – we’re screwed… gah. B.O.’s level of ego and pretension are beyond… Well, beyond. And in D.C.?? That’s saying something…

    Comment by Richmond — January 10, 2009 @ 7:20 pm

  2. Jim, that is a totally believable exchange knowing the Obamonarch’s ego.

    Comment by Dan O — January 10, 2009 @ 8:10 pm

  3. As invisible and unimportant as Joe will be, Mr Biden is only a heartbeat away.

    Comment by Ernie Nilsen — January 10, 2009 @ 8:54 pm

  4. We should be so lucky.

    Comment by DMerriman — January 10, 2009 @ 11:17 pm

  5. BHO is a B hole.

    Comment by JihadGene — January 11, 2009 @ 11:58 am

  6. President-Elect Obama’s

    Secretary – Your Eminence, Vice President-Select Biden for his 8AM meeting

    Obama – Who?

    Secretary – Vice President-Select Biden

    Obama – Damn…that cracker took me serious?!?! Awww shiznit. OK send the cracker ass cracka in.

    Biden – Oh Barack…it is so good to see you again. i’m here for my morning briefing.

    Obama – Nigga…are you trippin? Your briefing will be just that…brief. First off…when you come to see me, you need to step proper. To you, I am “Your Eminence”

    Biden – “Your Eminence”?

    Obama – Are you some deaf ass motherfucker…YES, I am “Your Eminence”

    Biden – I am not sure of what you ask for. Do I have a defined role in this administration?

    Obama – I’m sorry did you say something, “Token”?

    Biden – I’m sorry, sir. I’m not sure I understand.

    Obama – Ok, you want a role? I gotta role for you.

    Biden – Really, your eminence?

    Obama – Yes, this is vital to national security. I want you to call my boy A-Nice and check to make sure if those 22 inch chrome rims with the spinners are in for the Presidential limo. Yeah, that’s right, Joe….The Presidential limo is being featured on “Pimp My Ride” and you are ensuring that the Piece De Resistance is here…yep, those poppin’ ass rims.

    Biden – Oh wow, your Eminence…like my kids say “that shit is killer”. Will I get a chance to ride in it?

    Obama – Hell, no!!! I can’t have your sucka ass crushing my groove!!

    Biden – But sir…..

    Obama – GET OUTTA HERE!!!

    Biden – Yes sir (looking all like Droopy Dog and shit)

    Obama – Oh wait…Joe.

    Biden – Yes sir!

    Obama – Don’t put any of that sweet and low crap in my coffee, it tastes like shit and I can tell when it’s in there. Please don’t fuck up the coffee order like you fucked up in your debate loss to that smokin’ hot MILF. Man, I wonder if I could make her my Secretary of Bootycalls?

    Biden – As your heart desires, Your Eminence.

    Comment by Robbie K. — January 12, 2009 @ 1:12 pm

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