Saturday Feh.
I had planned on writing something today. Really.
I woke up with a couple ideas in my cruller, but after reading the news about the looming “Stimulus Package,” I’ve got way too much of a case of the ass to write anything, let alone something even remotely humorous.
Maybe later, maybe tomorrow.
I hear ya Jimbo so here’s a little KIM Jong IL for ya:
It’s 3:00 AM in Washington DC and Nancy Pelosi’s Phone Rings
Meanwhile somewhere very North of the DMZ’s 50 yard line we find Norf Korea’s Great Reader, KIM Jong IL, on the phone and strapped for cash, strugglin’ to cover his day-to-day DickTorial expenses in the DPRK…
PHONE VOICE- (sexy female) Hello and welcome to the voice activated NON-PARTISAN Madame Speaker, Nancy Pelosi Democrat Congressional Stimulus Package Bailout Hot Line. For survey purposes only, state your party affiliation…
KIM- Communist.
VOICE- A California Democrat. Is that correct?
KIM- Okray.
VOICE- Good. Congratulations!You have now reached step two in our three step process for fast cash! Did you back that bitch Hillery Clinton or God’s gift to the people, Barack Obama, in the 2008 Presidential race?
KIM- Obllama.
VOICE- Very good! Now for step three, to complete your request, loudly and clearly tell nonpartisan Nancy, back in Washington DC, just how much money you need.
KIM- (this shit’s too easy) Oh say mayblee…FIVE HUN-DWED MILLYAWN DOLLA’s, U.S!!!
VOICE- Did you say “only” $500,000,000 ?
KIM- Yes I’m did.
VOICE- What kind of pathetic bailout request is that?!!! You love Sarah Palin, don’t you, ya sawed off little Republican puppet!!! We deal in BILLIONS of dollars worth of pork here, ya slanty-eyed punk!
KIM- Don’t get racist with me, Blitch!
VOICE- We are nonpartisan Democrats, incapable of racism, just ask Louis Farrakhan! Ya Jew-loving tramp! Your request is denied…*CLICK*.
KIM- Puck you looong time too!!! (hangs up phone) . Okray General Wang let’s get this “Restart of Norf Korean Aggression Show” back on the road!
WANG- Roger that, Great Reader. Tell me, Great One…what was the 500 million gonna go for?
KIM- Chips and dip.
WANG- Chips & dip, Sir?
KIM- For Souper Bowl Sunday, of clourse!
WANG- Of course, Your Greatness.
Comment by JihadGene — January 31, 2009 @ 5:24 pm
Thanks, Gene. That was great. At least one of us is creative today.
🙂
Comment by Jim — January 31, 2009 @ 5:29 pm
That stimulus package is necessary to get our economy moving again. We need to get people back to work!
Comment by Kevin — January 31, 2009 @ 10:46 pm
Kevin,
Normally you get a big pile of crap AFTER the movement begins. The government has it backwards as usual.
Comment by Mark Reardon — January 31, 2009 @ 11:42 pm
Stimulating the economy is like priming the pump. The government is just trying to get it moving again.
Comment by Kevin — February 1, 2009 @ 1:34 am
We need the stimulus and all the jobs Obama is going to create! I want a new car and a bigger house and the stimulus will give me that.
Comment by dogette — February 1, 2009 @ 7:53 am
Kevin,
the “stimulus package” is nothing but Democrat Pork Barrel spending like never before. If you actually read the bill, which you can by clicking the link below, you’ll see it’s nothing but an orgy of special interest ratholes down which our money, mine and your’s, is being thrown. It has nothing to do with “stimulus”, other than what’s happening in Harry Ried’s shorts and Nancy’s panties…
Get a cup of coffee, it’s quite a read…
http://www.divshare.com/download/6453247-268
Comment by gregor — February 1, 2009 @ 11:04 am
Kevin???????
Are you for real, we need the stimulus package? Goverment stimulus to the loan & credit business is what precipitated the mess we have now for God`s sake.
Actually were we to get Government out of the bailout business & let the markets & private enterprise sort thing`s out , the downturn would be much shorter in duration without saddling the taxpayers of this country with a huge debt.
If you would study American business & economics, you would know it is when tax cuts take place , business & the economy responds. Franklin Roosevelt for all the credit he recieved actually prolonged the depression, it was WW2 which got us out of the depression not what Roosevelt did.
Democratic Liberal Socialism depends on people being subservient to the central government. People who can make their own choices & decisions doom Socialism to the scrap heap. The problem is a Government who has the power to provide with that which you should be doing for yourself will ultimately having you do what the central government demands of you.
This is a lesson from history you will never find in anything a liberal politician tells or sells you.Freedom does not survive in the Liberal Socialist Utopia.
Comment by dudley1 — February 1, 2009 @ 4:59 pm
Lessee… 800 Billion dollars, call it 400 Million people in the U.S. Crap, if they’d just give $2000 to every man, woman, and child, we could ALL have a nice Super Bowl party. Sure as hell “jumpstart” MY economy!
Comment by DMerriman — February 1, 2009 @ 10:13 pm