June 29, 2004

New Doings at the Bridal Shop.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 8:44 pm

A couple weeks ago, I wrote about a small bridal shop in town that had a hand-lettered sign in the window that said, “Shoe Only $10.00.” I can only assume that the shopkeeper managed to sell the shoe, or that he or she gave up trying, because yesterday I noticed that the “Shoe” sign had been replaced with a new hand-lettered sign that reads:



I originally thought that the storekeeper might have a stable of men she was offering to sell to brides who were, as they say, “left at the altar,” or women who desire a mate, but are too busy/shy/crazy/homely/slovenly to find one in a more conventional way.

“Kinda tacky,” I thought.

It then dawned on me that I am just not hip to creative weddings, and that the shop might well be selling people to participate in nautical weddings. These days, couples are increasingly choosing exotic sites for weddings, so I’m certain that some of them are opting to get married at sea.

Given that the price of a bridesmate “start” at $119, I assume that for the sale price a bride gets only a run-of-the-mill bridesmate, and that a really salty one goes for considerably more, but I’m just guessing.

Having sorted out the bridesmate thing, I remain perplexed about the idea of selling a “mother.” It is, I think, safe to assume that the $119 figure does not apply to the mother, as there is only one of them for sale, and, as such, the “start” price doesn’t make much sense. I do not know the exact price for the mother, but given that she is part of the ad, I assume that she is also on sale.

It is always sad when a bride’s mother is unable, through death or illness, to see her daughter get married, but I wonder whether a motherless bride would have much interest in buying a mother, even at a sale price.

I truly believe that I scooped the local newspaper on this important story. I’ll keep you posted.


  1. Bridesmates $119? Do they have a circular ad you can send me? Any pictures available? Possibly a webpage?

    Being a professional shopper I’m going to need to SEE the merchandise. But, that is a pretty good price. 😉 How’s their warranty? Return policy?

    Comment by Tammi — June 29, 2004 @ 9:32 pm

  2. Tammi,

    My guess is that for $119 you get a bridesmate in “as is” condition.

    Comment by Jim - Parkway Rest Stop — June 29, 2004 @ 9:45 pm

  3. Um, considering the linguistic challenges apparent here, isn’t it possible that the intention was to sell brides mates (as in husbands)? After all, it *is* (though not for long, I suspect) a BRIDAL shop…


    Comment by Dorsai65 — June 29, 2004 @ 10:45 pm

  4. D,

    Interesting….Husbands for sale. I didn’t think of that. I guess the $119 special might well be Joey Buttafucco.

    Comment by Jim - Parkway Rest Stop — June 29, 2004 @ 10:50 pm

  5. They need to advertise for a proofreader or maybe even an Advertising Manager. I submit that YOU would be great for this part-time (and possibly lucrative) work, especially since you are in the area anyway and have an eye for it.

    Advertise Manger: $10.00

    Advertise Merger: $119

    Prof. Reader: $10.00

    Smartass Dawg in Comments to Parka Fresh Stop WebBlock: .02

    Comment by topdawg — June 30, 2004 @ 7:56 am

  6. Why couldn’t my daughter pick such an interesting shop? But no. I had to spend 2 hrs. at a regular boring bridal shop Saturday while she tried on an endless number of gowns. My only amusement was watching the countless brides-to-be try on white gowns while their numerous toddlers played in front of the mirrors.

    The irony of that seemed to escape them.

    Comment by Rita — June 30, 2004 @ 8:02 am

  7. Rita,

    Good thing you didn’t go there with your daughter. As a mother, you might have ended up with a “Sale” sign around your neck.

    Comment by Jim - Parkway Rest Stop — June 30, 2004 @ 9:16 am

  8. My prediction for next week’s sign:



    ALL SHOE $10

    ALL DRESS $99

    Comment by Lynne — June 30, 2004 @ 11:20 am

  9. Oops, I thought that was the price for a Bride Mate (groom).

    Like I said, a pretty good price, providing I can get a good ROI.

    Comment by Tammi — June 30, 2004 @ 12:29 pm

  10. Y’all are killing me here. ROFLMAO!!! Thanks, it’s just what I needed today.

    Oh, I just thought of something – considering how expensive weddings are (my daughter got married last year), it seems to me you could just stop the entire spending spree in its tracks – just don’t buy the Mate. No Mate, no Wedding, no Expense. Hmmmm – why didn’t I know about this last year!

    Comment by Teresa — June 30, 2004 @ 3:54 pm

  11. I’ve just hit on the solution to the conundrum of the ‘mother’ line: they’re telling everyone that it’s a ‘mother’ of an deal!

    Comment by Dorsai65 — June 30, 2004 @ 9:55 pm

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