September 16, 2004

At Home with John and Teresa. No. 10

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 8:28 pm

Teresa: “Who is that woman?”

John: “What woman, dear?”

Teresa: “You dopey bastard. Do you see anybody else in this room? The woman on the television; the black woman; the one making some kind of speech.”

John: “You’re kidding, right?”

Teresa: “Are you trying to make an ass of me? If I goddamn knew who she was, I wouldn’t have asked you. All I know is that she has those goofy teeth. She must have been a thumb sucker. Every time I see her on television, I change the station.”

John: “That is Condoleezza Rice.”

Teresa: “Condo-what?”

John: “Condo-leezza…Condoleezza Rice.”

Teresa: “Never heard of her. Why is she on the goddamn television all the time?”

John: “Teresa, she’s the President’s Chief National Security Advisor.”



Teresa: “Well, when we’re elected, I want that job.”

John: “Muffin, I think we have to discuss…..”

Teresa: “There you go again with that ‘I think’ shit. I warned you about that. Pay attention, Groin Puss. I want that goddamned job, and you’ll damned well make it happen.”


Teresa: “Now, get lost. Access Hollywood is coming on.”



  1. Ouch. OUCH!

    Comment by Jack — September 16, 2004 @ 10:17 pm

  2. Jim – I don’t know if you can top Scrotum Face.. but it’s fun to keep reading them anyway!

    : – )

    Comment by Kate — September 17, 2004 @ 7:06 am

  3. Teresa: And while you’re at it, let Fernando shoot you up with another fix of Botox before the cameras get here. I don’t want it to look like I married my father.

    John: But Muffin, Teddy said that too much Botox could lead to dizziness, excessive water retention, and sexual disfunction.

    Teresa: What does that Rummy know ? For a guy who falls asleep at the bar, he should be talking to his rapist nephew. If all else fails, we can get you some Mike Didka pills. Do what I tell you or I’ll make those swift boat veterans look like you’re biggest supporters !

    Comment by cousin gary — September 17, 2004 @ 8:52 am

  4. Cheeseburger…

    … seeing as I’ve been scrubbed of all my linkages… freedom reigns, people.. but, with it, bridge-building must commence… ties that bind must be renewed… so, before Luuka and I head out for today’s adventure, some linky love is in…

    Trackback by Straight White Guy — September 19, 2004 @ 1:27 pm

  5. Love these!! Can Teresa even pronounce three syllable sentences without sounding like a drunk? I shutter to think she may be the first lady…

    Comment by J.R. — September 21, 2004 @ 1:39 am

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