September 22, 2004

At Home with John and Teresa. No. 12

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 8:37 pm

Teresa: “What IS that you are putting our plates, Pierre?”

Pierre: “Those are grits, madam.”

Teresa: “Gricks?”

Pierre: “No, madam; grits.”

Teresa: “Grits? I never heard of them. What are they? Are they French? Anyway, they look awful.”

Pierre: “Grits are a corn-based food substance that is eaten by many commoners in the South. I prepared them without sugar, the way the commoners prefer them.”


Teresa: “If this is food that is eaten by southern commoners, why the hell are you serving it to us?”


Pierre: “Master John asked that I prepare them in advance of your campaign activities in the South, Madam.”

Teresa: “Is that true, MASTER John?”

John: “Yes it is, Muffin. We will be swinging through the southern states in a week or so, and I know that we will be asked to eat grits, so I thought we had better acquaint ourselves with them.”

Teresa: “Oh, is that what you thought? Well, think again, Shit-for-Brains. I have no intention of eating this common slop. Pierre! Pour this shit into the garbage and bring us eggs benedict.”

Pierre: “Of course, madam.”

John: “I’m not hungry now.”

Teresa: “Is this a bit of attitude I’m seeing here? Is Johnny gonna pout because I wouldn’t sign on to eating gricks, or grits, or whatever that swill is called?”


Teresa: “Don’t even think about pulling that whiney bullshit with me, mister. You’ll eat your goddamned eggs benedict, or you’ll be on the floor, wearing a dog collar and eating Kibbles ‘n Bits.”



  1. Teresa: Pour this shit into the garbage and bring us polenta.”

    I just laugh my ass off when foodies from up North make fun of grits.

    Comment by slimedog — September 23, 2004 @ 2:35 pm

  2. ROFL….that is sooo funny!

    Comment by Sheilah — September 23, 2004 @ 6:14 pm

  3. John Kerry Automatic Pencil

    A search for “emergency room” at BlogWise turned up Spanky’s Place. Spanky’s Place, it turns out, is a medical blog I had already linked to… the hot pink & white “Azygos” button below. The first few posts were a link to an interesting story about fra…

    Trackback by I-Tach — September 23, 2004 @ 10:29 pm

  4. Grits is good.

    Comment by aelfheld — September 26, 2004 @ 7:16 pm

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