Being a native of New Jersey, I have learned to live with traffic jams, highway tolls, crowded everything, rude people, bone-crushing taxes, tropical and arctic weather, mobsters, and even a seemingly endless supply of crooked politicians, but this shit is downright intolerable.
Happy the Clown gazed over her red, glittery nose at the multitude of painted-on smiles gathered before her yesterday on the Seaside Heights boardwalk and paused for a moment of seriousness.
“This is your day,” she cried to her fellow clowns. “And there is no other day like it in the world.”
Yes, hundreds of these grotesquely painted, erratically behaving, personal space-invading adults swarmed the Jersey Shore inflicting their dumbshittery on the citizens of New Jersey, and scaring the dogshit out of hundreds of children in the process.
What’s next? A
herd, pod, clutch, bevy, pride, band, troop, pack shit load of alligators prancing down the Seaside Heights Boardwalk?
I’m jus sayin’.