Good Eats?
I found this food meme over at Elisson’s Place a while ago (Elisson being a food swashbuckler — he’s eaten whale fer Chrissake), and I’ve meaning to get around to it. The meme’s origin is here, and it is called 100 Things You Should Eat Before You Die.
After having examined the list, I would be quite happy to throw the sixes without ever having eaten some of these gems. If I fail to fully or even partially identify some of the items on the list, you can hop over to the previous link for an explanation (and sometimes a picture).
Let’s get started, shall we? I’ve indicated the things I’ve eaten in boldface.
100. Venison
Ate it once in Germany, after lots of beer. I won’t be eating it again.
99. Nettle tea
Sounds thorny to me.
98. Huevos rancheros
I have not tried them, but I know I’d like them, because I like the ingredients.
97. Steak tartare
Raw, ground steak with spices and a raw egg in it. I tried it once in Germany. It felt raw. I damned near gagged. If it were cooked, it would be good.
96. Crocodile
Anyone who has spent more than a week or two around here knows the answer to that question. Of course, crocodile = alligator for purposes of this meme. Blecch.
95. Black pudding
A bowl of clotted blood? Are you shitting me?
94. Cheese fondue
Definitely, when it was cool to have a fondue set. I believe we still have one in basement, which hasn’t seen cheese in decades. I believe it is right next to the Simon Game.
93. Carp.
Fish – no thanks.
92. Borscht
Beet soup. Nope.
91. Baba ghanoush.
Some kind of eggplant thing. I like breaded and fried eggplant and eggplant parmigiana, but I never had this stuff
90. Calamari
Deep fried squid. My friends love the stuff. Tasted in once (I believe I was drunk), and it tasted like fishy sneaker.
89. Pho
What the phock?
88. PB&J sandwich
Probably thousands of them. One of the finest things in life.
87. Aloo gobi
According to Elisson, this is Indian cauliflower and potato curry. Never had it, but I’d give it a shot.
86. Hot dog from a street cart
Absolutely. It was always referred to as lunch/dinner “under the umbrella.†We always referred to the vendors of this culinary delight as “umbrella guys.â€
85. Époisses
Supposedly seriously rotten, stinky cheese. I suppose if you ate that, you might consider eating a turd.
84. Black truffle
Aren’t these the things that pigs find in the ground and cost a zillion dollars per ounce? Anyway, never had one.
83. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
Sho ‘nuf. Had blackberry, blueberry and even dandelion (although I’m not sure that’s a fruit).
82. Steamed pork buns
I don’t know if this has anything to do with bread, or the boobs on a female pig, or neither. In any case, I never ate ‘em.
81. Pistachio ice cream
Green and delicious.
80. Heirloom tomatoes
Having read the description, I believe home-grown Jersey ‘maters fit the bill. Nothing like a Jersey ‘mater.
79. Fresh wild berries
Ate a bunch of unidentified berries as a kid. I guess I’m lucky to be alive.
78. Foie gras
No farookin’ way.
77. Rice and beans
Si!!
76. Brawn, or head cheese
We always called it (phonetically) “stoogarina.†It is perfectly horrible. When I was young, my uncle dared me to try some. I never completely forgave him for that.
75. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
I like hot stuff. I’d probably like this.
74. Dulce de leche
Sounds a bit like caramel pudding. I think I’d like it.
73. Oysters
I sooner eat a ginder.
72. Baklava
I had this somewhere, but I can’t remember where (drunk?), but it was sweet and delicious.
71. Bagna cauda
It contains anchovies, which for me is dispositive. I ain’t eating it.
70. Wasabi peas
I believe Elisson brought these to a blogmeet. I liked ‘em. Great with Shiner Bock.
69. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl
Clam chowder would be great, except for the clams. Blecch. Right up there with oysters. I’d like to break up the sourdough bowel and use it for peanut butter and jelly sammiches.
68. Salted lassi
Apparently it is a yogurt based drink with salt, pepper and spices, mixed up with ice to be frothy. Sounds a bit funky, but I’d give it a shot, because there is no FISH in it.
67. Sauerkraut
Yes! We have a German butcher in town who makes the stuff fresh (to the extent that fermenting cabbage can ever be fresh). What’s a hot dog without kraut? I’ve also tasted it with caraway seeds in it. Excellent.
66. Root beer float
I probably had one as a kid. Never was big on ice cream sodas. To me, it screws up the soda and screws up the ice cream. Now, a milk shake or a malted milk is something else.
65. Cognac with a fat cigar
Definitely, and it’s gottdamned civilized.
64. Clotted cream tea
Elisson “avoid[s] foods and beverages with names containing the word “clot,’†and I completely agree.
63. Vodka jelly/Jell-O shot
Absolutely. Nothing quite like chewing your booze.
62. Gumbo
Fishy soup. No thanks.
61. Oxtail
I had oxtail soup in Germany on a train. I don’t believe I was drunk at the time, so there’s no explaining why I tried it. I think it was good, but after having thought about it (oxtail!), I haven’t eaten it again.
60. Curried goat
No way.
59. Whole insects
Good grief, no! By the way, to me lobster is just one bigass insecty thing.
58. Phaal
More super hot stuff. I’d give it a go.
57. Goat’s milk
Not interested, thanks.
56. Single malt whisky
Many a time, laddie.
55. Fugu
First of all, it’s farookin’ fish, so no thanks. And, I for damned sure would not eat fish that could kill one’s ass if not properly prepared.
54. Chicken tikka masala
Chicken chunks with a bunch of Indian stuff on them. Depending on where the chunks came from, I’d consider giving it a try.
53. Eel
A favorite of my grandmother. Oy! One time she cut off an eel’s head and skinned the damned thing, and it uncoiled out of the bowel. Ack!
52. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut
Good, but way overrated. Maybe they’re a big deal in states where you can’t find a real donut.
51. Sea urchin
I’d have to be about to die on a life raft before I’d eat one of these.
50. Prickly pear
“If the outer layer is not properly removed, glochids can be ingested causing discomfort of the throat, lips, and tongue as the small spines are easily lodged in the skin.†I don’t think so.
49. Umeboshi
A Japanese pickled plum. I know more than a few Japanese peeps, and I’ve never seen them eat these. I would give them a try. I did try seaweed. Yes, I was drunk. It tasted just like you’d imagine it would. Blecch.
48. Abalone
Fish trying to disguise itself with a name that sounds like baloney. Nothing gets past me.
47. Paneer
I looked at the picture. The green shit in the cheese turns me off.
46. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal
You haven’t had one? I don’t question your judgment, but I do question your patriotism.
45. Spaetzle
Jawohl!
44. Dirty gin martini
Tried it, but I’m a purist when it comes to martinis (gin) – extra dry, up with olives. Lots of things are called “martinis†now, and it’s not worth fighting about, but a real martini is as earlier described.
43. Beer above 8% ABV
I’m sure I had some in Germany. Burrrrrp.
42. Poutine
French fries with gravy and curds on them. Yo, the gravy is OK, but hold the coids!
41. Carob chips
Carob is bullshit, fake chocolate. That is all.
40. S’mores
I can’t believe I’ve never had one, even when daughter was a Girl Scout. What’s not to like?
39. Sweetbreads
Thymus glands. Where do I sign up? Blecch.
38. Kaolin
I believe this would be like eating dirt, and is one of the ingredient Kaopectate, which, I am happy to say I have not had to take in many a year.
37. Currywurst
German Wurst is almost always good, but hold the curry.
36. Durian
“Regarded by some as fragrant, others as overpowering and offensive, the smell evokes reactions from deep appreciation to intense disgust. The odour has led to the fruit’s banishment from certain hotels and public transportation in Southeast Asia.†Ooofah!
35. Frogs’ legs
Sorry, but I believe that peeps who eat these things and say, “they taste like chicken†should eat chicken. Farookin’ frogs? WTF?
34. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
Fried dough. Gotta love it.
33. Haggis
Grew up in a town where the Scottish butcher made and sold this stuff. I can’t imagine being drunk enough to eat it.
32. Fried plantain
They always looked to me like bogus bananas. If it didn’t taste like a banana (which I expect it wouldn’t), I’d be pissed.
31. Chitterlings, or andouillette
No thanks.
30. Gazpacho
I believe that soup should be hot. Period.
29. Caviar and blini
Turns out that blini is (are) sort of like oven-baked pancakes. That sounds OK, but dumping a bunch of eggs from an ugly-ass fish all over them? Blecch.
28. Louche absinthe
One of few (and I do mean few) adult beverages I am not particularly fond of. Tastes like licorice.
27. Gjetost, or brunost
Apparently this is some sort of brown cheese. I question the basis of its brownness and hence would not eat it.
26. Roadkill
Not even a peanut butter and jelly sandwich if it was squished by a tire.
25. Baijiu
Chinese booze. I have yet to encounter any form of liquor that I won’t try. Hell, I like slivovitz.
24. Hostess Fruit Pie
They were a staple when I was growing up. Haven’t had one in many years.
23. Snails
I don’t believe that anyone really likes these, but they order them for effect. Eat a goddamned snail? A snail? You gotta be shitting me.
22. Lapsang souchong
Smokey-flavored black tea. Never had it, but I’d try it.
21. Bellini
A very civilized drink.
20. Tom yum
It’s some kind of soup. I checked out the picture (a shrimp with the eyes looking up from the bowl at the diner). No thanks.
19. Eggs Benedict
This is another one I never got around to trying. Maybe it’s because poached eggs always seemed to me to need more cooking.
18. Pocky
â€[A] biscuit stick coated with chocolate,†popular in Japan. Works for me.
17. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant
I would probably find most of the things on the menu to be gross. I’d sooner have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a glass of milk.
16. Kobe beef
I’d order it well done and probably end up in an argument with the cook.
15. Hare
Never had it, nor have I ever eaten tortoise.
14. Goulash
Yep. Very good.
13. Flowers
As noted above, I’ve drunk dandelion wine. Does that count?
12. Horse
Naaaaaaaaaay.
11. Criollo
According to the description, this is more of a style of food in Peru than it is a particular food, but I know I’ve never had food that fits that description.
10. Spam
Yes, in Hawaii, where they eat tons of the stuff. It came in the form of musubi, which is rice on top of Spam, wrapped in seaweed. I could really do without the seaweed.
9. Soft shell crab
Now, these are particularly disgusting. Eat the entire loathsome animal shell and all? Good grief!
8. Rose harissa
Hot sauce. Sounds good, but with rose petals?
7. Catfish
Disgusting. I apologize to my friends south of the Mason-Dixon line, but catfish are farookin’ gross.
6. Mole poblano
Apparently this is a chocolate chili sauce. Never had it, but I have had Swiss chocolate flavored with chili peppers. Sounds goofy, but it’s quite good.
5. Bagel and lox
Love bagels. Pass the cream cheese with chives. Hole the lox!
4. Lobster Thermidor
Lobster, as noted above, reminds me of a large cockroachy thing.
3. Polenta
I’ve had it in a couple excellent Italian restaurants. Very good.
2. Jamaican Blue Mountain Coffee
Never had it, but I’d love to try it. Black, no sugar, of course.
1. Snake
This scores a solid 10 on the disgusting scale.
I can’t imagine that anyone has read this all the way through, but if you did, you should treat yourself to a nice peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Now, that’s good eatin’.
Gator tail is very good Jimbo.
Comment by Catfish — October 7, 2008 @ 7:34 pm
I reckon I have eaten most of this at one time or another..at least once..but I do draw the line on some like Haggis and rotten cheese. Snake ain’t bad if your hungry..tastes a bit like chicken..
Comment by GUYK — October 7, 2008 @ 7:49 pm
Isn’t cheese fondue just an inside-out cheese sammich?
I’ve eaten lizard (does that count toward the croc?), snake, monkey, balut (yes, alcohol was involved), a live gecko (ditto on the alcohol), grubs, and squid beaks (popcorn to the Japanese). Kobe beef is still pretty damn tender, even well-done. Blue Mountain coffee is definitely a keeper, just not worth the $30+/pound.
Try genuine kimchee – think ‘sauerkraut’, but with Mexican spices 🙂
Comment by DMerriman — October 7, 2008 @ 8:59 pm
Crap. Forgot to close the link to the balut.
Comment by DMerriman — October 7, 2008 @ 8:59 pm
The list of things Jim won’t eat is close to my own. Just a few additions:
Steamed pork buns: Yeah, these are pretty good.
Dulce de leche Si! Si!
Pocky’s are sufficiently edible that it’s hard to explain how they come from Japan. For a while, I had a habit of buying the most disgusting Asian candy possible, and bringing them to Mathematics meetings so that the (left wing) professors would have something to eat. My favorite was this dried fruit that looked like it had been found in a Tucson, Arizona gutter, but there were some stuff that was beyond description. See Bad-Candy.com for more.
Horse: Ate it when I was a kid. At school. Quite the scandal.
Catfish: Oh, man, these are so good, when fresh. The usual way they serve them is covered in corn meal batter, and fried. These are something McDonalds could serve all over the country, but the best would still be fresh in Houston area.
A weird thing, not on the list, that is surprisingly tasty is Sea Cucumbers. Just don’t look at one before they cook it.
Comment by Carl Brannen — October 7, 2008 @ 9:20 pm
What, no ostrich?
Jimbo, borscht is GOOOOOOD. Float a few mushroom-filled pierogies in a warm bowl of borscht and you’ve got a party in your mouth.
I’ve eaten snails once. Sweet breads too. Won’t touch ’em again now that I know better. If you like eating snails, you also probably like chewing on a wad of gum that you found stuck under your desk. Now cover that in boogers and think about it and THAT is the feeling you get while you’re trying to swallow the damned thing whole without rudely up-chucking.
Comment by Mike R. — October 8, 2008 @ 12:38 am
“7. Catfish
Disgusting. I apologize to my friends south of the Mason-Dixon line, but catfish are farookin’ gross”
I will have to say that catfish I have been served NORTH of the Mason Dixon line usually had been gross
and South in a Chain restaraunt, not much better, they barbarians DEEP FRIED the fish, now unless you have had home cooked panfried, or pan fried in a small Mom and Pop cafe, you really have not tasted Catfish the way it should be.
Comment by Dan Kauffman — October 8, 2008 @ 1:17 am
“Tried it, but I’m a purist when it comes to martinis (gin) – extra dry, up with olives. Lots of things are called “martinis†now, and it’s not worth fighting about, but a real martini is as earlier described.”
Ah, Jimbo, it’s a fight worth fighting still.
Comment by Vernunft — October 8, 2008 @ 3:53 am
Gee, of all the people in the Bloggy-Sphere, I was hoping you’d pick this meme up.
Steak Tartare. “If it were cooked, it would be good.”
If it were cooked, it’d be a frakkin’ hamburger.
Paneer. “I looked at the picture. The green shit in the cheese turns me off.”
That green shit’s called “spinach.” It’s not part of the paneer.
Great post! I wonder how many of these things we can get you to try at Eric’s?
Comment by Elisson — October 8, 2008 @ 5:01 am
I read it all the way though…laughed so much my mascara ran down my face (read it yesterday, commenting today). Posts like this more often…please!!
Hairboy…you and me, we need to talk. You are a heimishe guy, drinking Slivowitz and mashke (whisky) and all but, I promise you, lox is really what it is all about…the least fishy of all the fishies, and a bagel with just plain cream cheese WITHOUT lox simply does not cut it. It needs lox. And a few raw onions, too. Mmmmmmmm!! Yummy!!
Friend, I agree with you on 99% of these things, and would troe my own Mama off a roof for a PB&J sammitch (and macaroni & cheese, with the cheese slightly burnt on the edges), but you can’t dismiss a bagel with cream cheese & lox just like that. I will hold your hand and walk you through the Entire Process…lox, like beer, is more proof that Gott loves us and wants us to be happy. I would not lie to you, Hairboy.
Besides, at almost $10/pound it, too, is very Gott-damned civilized. I’m tellin’ ya, you gotta give it a try. Please? I might consider eating something I find equally as disgusting** in exchange if you give it a try. No promises, but we can work out the deets. Please, think about it?
**Mushrooms, ’maters…I won’t do shellfish since it’s against my faith. And, like you point out, it’s also got a cockroachy thing going on.
PS: What Mike R. said, re: “Float a few mushroom-filled pierogies in a warm bowl of borscht and you’ve got a party in your mouth.” That makes me want to vomit my anus up through my mouth, FOREVER!
*runs, screaming*
GAAAAAAAAAAH!!
Comment by Erica — October 8, 2008 @ 8:24 am
If it’s coated in thick seasoned batter and then deep-fried all to hell I can eat some of it. Catfish being a good example, followed by frog’s legs, which I thought was fried chicken at the time (asking for seconds of the delicious chicken when the chef said OH YOU MEAN ZEE FROG’S LEGS!)
Burp.
Comment by dogette — October 8, 2008 @ 8:28 am
More to add: If I may, a comment in response to something Carl Brannen brought up, re: Sea Cucumber. I once went to a traditional Chinese banquet in a tiny backroom of a filthy restaurant in Chinatown, and this “delicacy†was served.
After it was explained to me that they are found on the bottom of the sea, and are the ocean’s equivalent of slugs that we sometimes see on the pavement, I ended up ordering chicken and broccoli instead. As you might say, “A farookin’ slug!! WTF?â€
Had I not known that it was a sea slug just by looking at it, I would not have eaten it anyways, and would sooner eat one of my own boogers, because it wiggled in a way I found unappealing and, on a scale of revolting from 1-10, would definitely be a gazillion.
I will try to think about sea cucumber, foie gras, and slimy mushroom-filled pierogies floating in a bloodbath of borscht this evening and all day tomorrow as I wishfully suppress my appetite over Yom Kippur.
Comment by Erica — October 8, 2008 @ 8:37 am
Elisson — Yes, it would be a hamburger, but it would be a delicious, well spiced, moist burger — sort of like a mini-meatlof. Delicious. Ever since the discovery of fire, cooking food has been civilized. Oh and the green stuff = spinach. No matter, because I don’t like spinach. It tastes like grass clippings smell.
Wiseass Jooette — Jimbo ain’t eatin’ no lox. To say it’s the “least fishy of the fish” is sort of like saying, “Try monkey shit. It’s the least shitty of the shits.”
Cat: Gator tail? I’m more likely to get hit in the head with a piece of space junk than I am to ever eat alligator meat.
Jimbo
Comment by Jim — October 8, 2008 @ 8:44 am
Gator tail is AWESOME if it’s fresh. And I gotta tell you Jimbo, there is a certain sense of satisfaction knowing that’s one less to bother you.
ESPECIALLY if you’re sittin there watchin’ the others swim around the chanel outside the resturant.
But maybe that’s just my twisted sense of enjoyment……
Comment by Tammi — October 8, 2008 @ 9:17 am
My lord, you really are a yankee, aren’t you? You would have starved to death had you grown up in the south. How could one man’s taste buds be so messed up. At least you like whisky. Otherwise you might need to be dragged off and shot. On the other hand – maybe it’s a good thing you don’t like anything good. That leaves more for me and my sucessfully reformed yankee friend Elisson to eat.
Comment by Dash — October 8, 2008 @ 9:48 am
Thought you’d go for the Croc/gator if for no other reason than revenge. (And it is quite good. So’s rattlesnake and venison if you treat it like beef.)
Sea urchin–tried it–once–yeech, NEVER again, even if I was dying.
Comment by joated — October 8, 2008 @ 9:49 am
I see joated just barely beet me to it, but the RattleSnake… As was said in Apocalypse Now, if you’ll eat that, you’ll never have to prove your bravery to me again…
Comment by RedNeck — October 8, 2008 @ 10:35 am
Jimbo…..you are either too cultured or live next to a landfill in Jersey.
1.Venison, Moose,Elk,Buffalo …….any of them are far superior to domestic beef.
2. Kobe Beef ……Fine & especially when partaking of Shabu Shabu ,A table favorite where the host takes a pot of boiling water & add`s herb`s & spices to it blending a broth to his or her individual taste then has the waiter/waitress bring vegetables & thinly sliced Kobe Beef.Everyone then takes chopstick`s & dip`s the beef or vegetable`s into the pot yelling Shabu! Shabu!cooking it instantly. A particulary fun time ….goes well with copius amounts of Asahi Beer or some fine Saki from a fresh barrel.
3. Fish….. Again, there is indeed something wrong with people from Jersey…….Who eats at all the seafood restaurant`s in Jersey?…..visiting mobster`s from New York? Anyway you are missing out.
4. Frog Leg`s …..I`ll give you a little slack here….it took me a few beer`s to gather up the courage to try them,the dirty little secret here is “THEY ARE DELICIOUS” Other then you, The only other objection`s for eating Frog Leg`s come from the Frog`s.
5 & counting….The other food choices you enumerated contained many item`s which are dubious even to a starving man.
Comment by dudley1 — October 8, 2008 @ 11:53 am
Dash,
He’s not merely a yankee, he’s from Jersey. The land of enchantment for sinfully rich and varied cuisine. (and don’t write me off as a Damn Yankee, I spent 5 years cookin’ over the pit at Sonny’s Bar-b-que).
If you live out your life in Jersey there’s just sooo much good stuff that you never need to go exotic to tantilize your taste buds.
Comment by Mark Reardon — October 8, 2008 @ 12:05 pm
Mark, I would never call someone a “damn” yankee. I have too much respect for the word “damn.” Just kidding. Jimbo knows how much I admire him for all he’s been through. He’s a real American. Just because his taste buds and his sense of adventure regarding fine cuisine are a little let’s say… under developed, we southerners still call him brother.
Comment by Dash — October 8, 2008 @ 1:55 pm
Dash,
What a generous, may I dare say Typically generous Southern outreach of brotherhood. More Jersians (and New Yorkers and New Englanders…Bless Their Hearts) should get over their attitudes (Deliverance was NOT a documentary) and visit the South to discover the warmth and intellegence of their brother Americans.
Maybe then Jimbo could get a reasonable state government.
Comment by Mark Reardon — October 8, 2008 @ 2:32 pm
Getting decent catfish outside the south is pretty tough. But as far as how it tastes, I know of some Chinese who consider the (inferior frozen) catfish at “Catfish Corner” to be the best fish available in Seattle. And yes, it’s deep fat fried, just like most American food.
Sea Cucumber looks awful before it is cooked. After cooking, it looks about like a baked potato and has a texture about the same. It’s not bad at all.
Comment by Carl Brannen — October 8, 2008 @ 9:06 pm
You know… I can’t believe this list doesn’t have BARBECUE on it… Pulled pork smothered in sauce… MMmm.mmm.mmmmmmmmmmmmmm…..
By the way Erica – I’m thinking of mushroom-filled pierogies floating in warm borscht!!! MMMm! Yum!
Comment by Mike R. — October 8, 2008 @ 11:09 pm
Jim, there were only 21 items on this list that I have not eaten. Black pudding being one. I have eaten a whole insect, all manner of sea creatures etc. . . you don’t know what you are missing!
Oh, and seaweed? I had some for dinner last night – my favorite snack of all time. 🙂
Comment by oddybobo — October 9, 2008 @ 9:15 am
…. Jimbo, you are such a pussy sometimes…….. I swear……
Comment by Eric — October 9, 2008 @ 8:05 pm
I have lots of genuine friends in the South, and, except for heat and gators, I like everything about the South. Well, everything, except some of the stuff they eat (often after being shot dead). Still, I love heading south, where a born and bred Jersey Guy can get hush puppies, fried green ‘maters, Texas Barbecue (to die for) and biscuits and gravy for breakfast. If you ask for a biscuit and gravy in a Jersey Diner, the waitress would look at you as if you just walked off a space ship, scratch her big hair and bring you a soft biscuit with a side order of brown gravy.
Having said that, my southern friends can’t get a decent Italian meal, or a good slice of pizza, an Italian Hot Dog, a sa-seech, pepper and onion sandwich on a REAL Italian roll, and they damned sure can’t get a Taylor Ham and cheese on a hard roll.
I love youse guys.
Jimbo
Comment by Jim — October 9, 2008 @ 9:05 pm
No haggis or black pudding? They both taste much better than the ingredients would have you believe.
Comment by Mark — October 11, 2008 @ 8:44 am
Jimbo, borscht is GOOOOOOD. Float a few mushroom-filled pierogies in a warm bowl of borscht and you’ve got a party in your mouth.
Mmm…. I’ve got beets in the refrigerator. I should make myself some this weekend.
And I’m not sure what picture you’re looking at, but paneer doesn’t tend to be green. It tends to be creamy or slightly yellow colored. If it’s green, then it has absorbed a sauce or something.
Comment by R — October 16, 2008 @ 12:23 pm