Jon Corzine, the zillionaire who bought a seat in the U.S. Senate and became bored with it, and then bought the New Jersey Governor’s job. Now that he’s spent a bunch of everyone’s money, he has become bored with the Governor’s job. Obviously he has his sights set on a gig with the hoped-for Clinton-2 Administration.

It wasn’t enough that he traveled to Nevada to campaign for Mrs. Clinton, now he has praised her socialist economic stimulus plan.

Clinton has called for a 90-day moratorium on foreclosures, a five-year freeze on interest rates and a $30 billion fund to help states deal with the consequences of the subprime mortgage crisis. She has also proposed $25 billion in federal energy assistance to help low-income households deal with the record cost of home heating oil.

Of her election year “Bread and Circuses” plan, Corzine said, “It’s not just rhetorical, it’s practical.”

Jackass.

If, heaven forbid, this woman becomes president, I hope she appoints Jon Corzine to be the Ambassador of Bullshitonia – anything to get his grubby hands out of my pockets.

Those of you who have been visiting for a while know that I farookin’ hate clowns. My unassailable and most excellent argument appears here. I am always flattered each time my views are vindicated.

A study conducted in England to determine the décor of hospital children’s wards demonstrated that children between ages four and sixteen universally disliked clowns.

That proves to me that they were very normal kids.

h/t to the Wiseass Jooette for sending me the article. (Not surprisingly, she likes clowns. Must be a Coney Farookin’ Island thing. Go figure.)

No, I am not talking about livestock here, but rather the filthy swine who insist on throwing trash on the street.

During a recent walk, I turned one of my regular corners and saw that litter was strewn in the street ahead of me for at least a half a block. One didn’t need to be Sherlock Holmes to figure out how the litter got there. The trash itself told the story.

Obviously two people had picked up a ‘to go” order at McDonalds. (Two of just about everything were there, but the two large Pepsi cups were the clincher.) In addition to drinking a large soda, each pig also had a Big Mac and fries. Apparently they shared an order of McNuggets (I believe that’s what they’re called). Oh, I almost forgot. Between them, they used three ketchup packets on the fries and, of course, there were also napkins.

When these pigs finished these culinary delights, they simply pitched all the containers, wrappings, napkins, ketchup packets and the bag out of the car window. The wind took care of scattering their roadside deposit so as to cover half a block.

Yo, Jimbo. What oughta be done to assholes who do this?

Good question.

For sure, we can’t give ‘em the death penalty. Hell, nowadays in Jersey you can kill hundreds of people and be guaranteed as a matter of law not to get the juice.

How about fines?

Nah. They don’t work.

How about this? (I’m serious as a heart attack here.)

If convicted of tossing garbage on the street, there will be a mandatory jail sentence. Based on the amount of garbage tossed, the judge would have discretion to impose a jail term of from five to thirty days. But, the judge would also have discretion to suspend the sentence, if the defendant agrees that for each day of the jail sentence to spend a weekend picking up trash in the town, eight hours per day.

So, instead of five days in the slammer, the pig could spend five weekends cleaning up other pigs’ garbage from the street. Instead of thirty days in the slammer, the pig could spend thirty weekends cleaning up the streets. You don’t show up for street cleaning duty, the suspended sentence would be imposed.

Yo, Jimbo. How would the police know who threw the stuff from a car? Each person in the car could say the other guy threw the trash. Have you thought this through?

Another good question. Yes, I have considered this.

Under my rule, the driver, as the person responsible for what goes on in the car, would be legally culpable, and if it could be proven that someone other than the driver tossed the trash, then that person would get nailed as well. I figure that would go a long way toward having drivers keep their pals from tossing shit out the window.

Oh, and one more thing.

The pigs who opt for street cleaning rather than jail would have to clean the streets while wearing a reflective orange vest on which appear the words, “I’M A SLOB.”

I oughta be a judge.

Did you hear the latest newsflash?

Bow Wow has canceled his scheduled January 23rd concert at the Prudential Center in Newark!!

Where shall I go, what shall I do?

I think I shall need Prozac.

Fortunately, there are not too many days when blogging seems to be more of a chore than it is fun.

Unfortunately, this is one of those days.

I don’t need no steeeenkin’ chore.

That’s that.

Please take the time to watch this.

Yes, it’s a cartoon. I found it at The Idiom. I agree with Kid Various when he says, “This should be shown to every 5th grade class in America.” Although it has all the earmarks of having been made in the 50’s, it could still serve as an antidote to the politically correct, nanny-state bilge that is being force fed to too many children these days in the public schools.

I’ll be busy this evening, so I will leave you to consider the words of George Will:

Edwards, synthetic candidate of theatrical bitterness on behalf of America’s crushed, groaning majority, says the rich have an “iron-fisted grip” on democracy and a “stranglehold” on the economy. Strangely, these fists have imposed a tax code that makes the top 1 percent of earners pay 39 percent of all income tax revenues, the top 5 percent pay 60 percent, and the bottom 50 percent pay only 3 percent.

Later, Peeps.

I love woids. To me, they’re right up there with music and good whiskey. I am particularly taken with the emergence of new words, or the use of old words, but with new meanings. The information age has brought us both.

I got to thinking about how many computer-related words I know now that either didn’t exist when I was in high school (three years after the invention of fire), or which existed then, but meant something completely different from what they mean now.

So, for shits and giggles, I dashed off a few that came to mind. I have followed each one (in parentheses) with what the word would have meant to me in high school. Or, if it would have been a brand-new word, what I would have thought it meant.

Mind you, I am a techno-doofus, so I can only imagine how many examples of words like those in the following list a serious geek could come up with.

Feel free to do so.

Da List

Hardware (Tools, nails, clotheslines and other stuff you bought at a store with the same name)

geek (A guy who bites the heads off chickens)

mouse (Mickey)

mouse pad (Mickey’s house)

link (A part of a chain)

hyperlink (New word, but it could have meant a particularly nervous piece of a chain)

dot (The thing you put over the letter “i”)

click (It didn’t used to be a verb)

boot (Footwear or a verb meaning “to kick”)

re-boot (New word, but it could have meant to kick something again)

CD (Clive Davis’ initials)

DVD (A mistyped name of a brand of men’s underwear)

internet (New word, but it could have been a brand of hairspray)

web (Something a spider wove)

RAM (An animal or a verb)

DOS (New word, but it could have been the opposite of “DONTS”)

cursor (Someone who used foul language … sort of)

www (New word, but it could have been a Satanic symbol)

http (New word, but I would have thought it to be an obvious typo)

@ (Something seen only in arithmetic problems – “Joe bought three apples @ ten cents each …”)

screenshot (A new word, but it could have been a broken television — black and white, of course)

software (New word, but it could have meant things sold in a hardware store that weren’t hard)

hard drive (The trip from Jersey to Florida)

driver (The person behind the wheel)

c drive (New word, but it could have referred to a trip to California)

crash (Car accident)

blue screen of death (A matinee horror movie)

ROM (Mistyped man’s first name)

html (New word, but it could have been some shitty letters you were stuck with in Scrabble)

troll (A little rubber doll with porcine features and spiky hair)

spam (A meat-like product in a can)

spoof (A new word, but it could have been a special type of goof)

hack (A verb, a taxi, a shitty writer, or a Jersey politician)

firewall (The thing in a car between you and the engine)

security patch (A piece of material sewn over the hole in the seat of your jeans)

e-mail (A new word, but it could have meant European mail)

photoshop (A place where you had film developed)

hibernate (What bears do)

lurk (What shifty-eyed characters do)

dialogue box (New word, but it could have been a talking carton)

window (The glass-covered hole in the wall)

virus (Something that gave you a fever and made you puke)

worm (An annelid, often used as bait)

malware (New word, but it could have been one of Flash Gordon’s enemies)

spyware (New word, but it could have been James Bond’s dinner service)

blackberry (A fruit)

Trojan horse (The thing the soldiers hid in)

diskette (New word, but it could be something thrown in a children’s Olympic event)

Outlook (One’s take on the future)

Apple (A fruit that when eaten daily kept the doctor away)

podcast (New word, but it could have been a thrown thing in which peas grow)

blog (New word, but it could have been the stuff that comes out your nose when you sneeze)

website (New word, but it could have been the location of a spider’s home)

home page (New word, which would have made about as much sense as, say, “distant basket”)

hotlink (Italian sausage)

server (Waiter or waitress)

browser (A guy who reads magazines in the store)

Holy Crap!

Thanks to my friend, Brian the Air Force Vet

My buddy Gregor, a fellow Garden Stater, must have thought I was constipated and needed a bit of bowel loosening, so he sent me this video of a first-class wackadoo and his most unusual pet.

Yeef!

Next time please send me a jar of prune juice, Bro.