Encouraged by New York City’s proposed regulations that would prohibit restaurants from cooking with oils that contain trans fats, Gavin Newsom, the Mayor of San Francisco announced today that he will propose a regulation that would prohibit the sale of meat, poultry and fish in all the city’s restaurants.

When asked by reporters why poultry and fish would be included in the ban, as such foods are often thought to be less deleterious than red meat, Newsom responded, “None of that stuff is good for you. You can get all the protein you need from beans.” He continued, “If it has a face, you can’t eat it here in San Francisco (causing several female reporters to noticeably blush).

Starshine Sequoia, the proprietress of the Hummus Palace, was positively giddy upon hearing the news. “That is so groovy! My astrologer said this year would be far out, and she was right!” In order to kick-start what Ms. Sequoia believes will be a large increase in sales, she announced that every Hummus Palace customer wearing a bandanna “or a really awesome crystal” will receive a ten percent discount.

Jon Corzine, New Jersey’s Governor, was asked if any New Jersey municipalities are considering similar regulations. He stated that he has not heard of any such efforts, but that “We will be instituting a state-wide surcharge of fifty percent on all meat dishes served in restaurants. We believe that New Jersey citizens who can afford to order meat in a restaurant are clearly among the state’s wealthy and, therefore can afford the additional tax.”

Now you don’t.

You may have noticed that this site has been appearing and disappearing (mostly disappearing) over the past two days. Mysterious stuff — way beyond my ken.

Maybe I botched something.

“You know, education, if you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your homework and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don’t, you get stuck in Iraq.”
This is not the first time this rat bastard has pulled this crap. He did it Congress in 1971 before the Senate Foreign Relations Committee:

They told the stories at times they had personally raped, cut off ears, cut off heads, taped wires from portable telephones to human genitals and turned up the power, cut off limbs, blown up bodies, randomly shot at civilians, razed villages in fashion reminiscent of Genghis Khan, shot cattle and dogs for fun, poisoned food stocks, and generally ravaged the countryside of South Vietnam… .

He was at it again last year during an interview with Bob Schieffer on Face the Nation, when he said:

[T]here is no reason, Bob, that young American soldiers need to be going into the homes of Iraqis in the dead of night, terrorizing kids and children, you know, women, breaking sort of the customs of the–of–the historical customs, religious customs.

I agree with the sentiment expressed by the author of The Colossus, a longtime Massachusetts resident, when he states:

John Kerry is a disgrace, and though it may not mean much, should he ever enter a room, I will leave it; should he ever come to my town for a visit, I will not go see him; and should I ever have need of the constituent services of my Senator, I will not call upon him, for I would rather die than endure the shame of ever having to ask this man — this kind of man — for anything. I shall never shake his hand, or extend it to him in help in any way; nor shall I ever be moved to vote for him, or anyone he endorses.

He claims, with a straight face that his latest slander of people serving in the military was merely was a “botched” joke.

It seems to me that John Kerry is his parents’ botched attempt to produce a human being at least worth the sweat from the average GI’s ass.