I was tagged by Evil White Guy to participate in this exercise. The deal is that one must write a few stanzas of doggerel based upon the following format.

Turd in a punchbowl,
Have no fear,
Turd in a punchbowl,
Blah, blah, blah…….., etc.

Here goes:

Turd in a punchbowl,
Long and brown,
Turd in a punchbowl,
Spins round and round

Turd in a punchbowl,
From your ass,
Turd in a punchbowl,
Not in the grass

Turd in a punchbowl,
What a bore,
Turd in a punchbowl,
Looks like Al Gore

Turd in a punchbowl,
How about that,
Turd in a punchbowl,
Not in your hat.

Here is the work of Dash and Velociman, both of whom were also hit with the turd splatter.

Now, I am supposed to tag three other bloggers. However, I prefer not to toss this turd in anyone else’s punchbowl who may have better things to do. However, I hereby cordially invite anyone reading this and who feels even a little bit poetic to have at it;

Update: Thanks to V-Man for directing me to ‘Neck’s masterpiece. It’s turd-riffic!!

Update No. 2: Dave from A Different Lemming voluntarily jumps into the punchbowl.

The other day my buddy Dash posted twenty-one pieces of advice. It’s difficult to quarrel with anything in Dash’s list. Reading that list got me to thinking about advice and how I figure that I’ve been on the planet long enough, and I’ve done enough goofy shit interesting things to qualify me to dispense twenty-one bits of advice of my own. I’m thinking that I must be full of shit, good advice because rattling these off was a breeze. With that, I give you:

Jimbo’s Bits of Worldly Advice

1. Avoid stores like Home Depot, for no good will come of shopping in such places.

2. If you receive a cell phone call while in a public place, seek a private place to take the call. If that is impossible, speak softly and be brief (this is not shoot-the-breeze time), lest you become the victim of a justifiable homicide.

3. Life is too short to drink cheap whiskey.

4. Always accept someone else’s offer to drive, unless the person is drunker than you.

5. Meat should be cooked before it is eaten. It has been thus ever since the discovery of fire. “Bloody” is not “cooked.”

6. Sleeping is a monumental waste of time, and, as such, it should be kept to a minimum.

7. If you want to learn to play a musical instrument, don’t practice it, play it.

8. Profanity is a good thing, if you know when and how to use it.

9. Spend time playing music alone. You’ll be your best audience and your harshest critic.

10. Go through each day secure in the knowledge that Jane Fonda is still a piece of shit.

11. Stay away from people who think believe that O.J. did not kill those people, for they are dangerously stupid.

12. There is never an upside to smart-mouthing a cop.

13. There is almost never a good reason to be rude to a waiter or waitress.

14. Homemade spirits should be imbibed only by experienced drinkers and, even then, with a good deal of caution.

15. Don’t badger a musician on stage with requests. If the musician solicits requests, he (she) is almost always being polite; as he really knows what will work in the room. If you insist on hearing only exactly the music you want to hear, go to a saloon with a juke box.

16. It’s damned near impossible to screw up a potato or an onion.

17. If you ever have the good fortune to get the chance to shoot the breeze with Catfish, by all means do it. It’s a richly rewarding experience.

18. If someone asks for a gin and ginger ale, don’t make it for them, but rather suggest that the person seek professional help.

19. If someone not from New Jersey says, “You’re from New Joisey? What Exit? Harharhar,” be kind, smile and pretend that it’s the first time you’ve heard it.

20. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are something to be relished with reckless abandon.

21. For the love of God, don’t watch daytime television. That shit will kill you.

That’s it, for now.

Rick at See What You Share has previously warned us that unwary users of peer to peer (P2P) file sharing software may well be making the contents of their entire C-Drives available for downloading by other users of the software. He has also demonstrated that the pictures of their children that people maintain on their C-Drives may well end up being downloaded to a computer on which there are hundreds of child pornography files.

Rick has now done a Nine-Minute Experiment, the results of which should send shivers down your spine. In short, he created a folder that contained innocuous documents, but which included titles such as:

OIF Iraqi Freedom Deployment Schedule NOT PUBLIC!
Mom & Dad’s Credit Card Info.
Kids – Playday @ School

Take a look at how many people downloaded those files from Rick’s computer in a period of nine minutes! Furthermore, depending on how people have their P2P software configured, these files could be available for the picking every time the user boots up the computer.

It’s downright frightening.

As I noted here, the software producers/licensors could go a long way to minimizing this problem by changing the software defaults to permit the sharing of only music files (as that’s why most people download P2P) and to prominently warn users that changing the default could expose the entire contents of their C-Drives to anyone who has the same P2P software.

So why don’t software producers take these measures? I think it’s fair to assume that such programming changes would be a snap.

In my personal opinion, P2P software producers, many of whom currently find themselves embroiled in copyright infringement actions relating to music file sharing, currently can argue that they are not inducing copyright infringement because their software permits the sharing of all sorts of files which do not in any way implicate the copyright laws. And, as such, they cannot be blamed if users choose to share copyrighted music files with their proiducts.

Indeed, if the producers were to adjust the defaults to permit the sharing of only music files, their “we-know-nothing” argument against the inducement of copyright infringement loses much of its force.

On the other hand, the software producers, by failing to change the defaults and by not prominently warning users of the consequences of the using the default settings, could end up being defendants in tort actions by users for any number of the litany of potential horribles that one can envision based on the results of Rick’s Nine-Minute Experiment.

Finally, the national security implications of the Nine-Minute Experiment are beyond frightening and must be addressed.

YAWN…….

I wonder what the “over and under” is on how many days go by before she makes a wet-hanky appearance on Oprah.

I completed the morning walk, again in lousy weather. As usual, I brought my Muse along, and was waiting for her to deliver the goods. However, today, she must have felt musical because, instead of inspiring me with something to write about, she sang Merle Haggard and Johnny Cash songs in my ear for one hour. I believe she sang “Sunday Morning Coming Down” at least a half-dozen times. Just when I though she was finished singing and was ready to provide me with a bit of literary inspiration, she belted out a couple verses of “I’ve Always Been Crazy” by Waylon Jennings.

So, there you have it – Jimbo on a Sunday morning sidewalk strutting my shit in shitty weather and dealing with a singing Muse. I don’t have much else to say right about now. Please address all complaints to the Singing Muse.

As a result, rather than sitting here staring at the screen, I plan on spending a bit if time sitting in a comfortable chair and reading a book, with pages and all, before I head over to the Post to commiserate with the Usual Suspects. Once there, I will wash down a few Yuengling Porters, have a bit of chow and puff on a CAO Gold Robusto.

I shall return to the House by the Parkway in time to watch Deadwood and, with any luck, I won’t fall asleep in Mr. Recliner.

Sounds like a plan to me.