In addition to wishing all who come by here a happy and healthy 2008, I have a few special wishes for some of those who don’t.
I wish the following for these folks:
The producers of reality television programs: I truly hope that in 2008 you find something worthwhile to do with yourselves.
Isamofascists: I hope that you all wake up one day in the coming year and say to yourselves, “Man, this is a really bad idea,” and that you get an education and begin producing something of value to the world.
Spammers: May you all take up an avocation as useful to society as is spamming. Plate spinning might be good. (Yes, I know. They do come around here, but they are cyber zapped before anyone ever sees them.)
Congress People and Senators: May you all wake up one morning and decide that what you need is a real job.
New Jersey Legislators: May you all accept a plea bargain.
John Edwards: May your wife get well, and may you and she stop the Stalinist bullshit and return to your mansion to enjoy spending time with your children.
Barack Obama: May you read a lot, think a lot and mature a lot. At the end of that process, you just might become a Republican.
Ted Kennedy: May you enjoy a swim in a vat of scotch.
Nancy Pelosi: May your plastic surgeon remain alive and his hands nimble.
Bill Clinton: May you come to realize that you will not implode if you talk about something other than yourself for a minute or two.
Hillary Clinton: May you return to the Senate, finish your lackluster service there and then accept a position as a panelist on The View, and may you accept with dignity the reality that even Joy Behar is smarter than you.