May 16, 2006

Defective Wiring.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 8:25 pm

compass.bmpI believe it is true that some people (perhaps most people) are just not properly wired to do one particular thing or another – and I really do mean “wired” in the sense that their brains are just not configured to perform certain tasks or learn certain things.

For example, I know people who are as tone deaf as a stone.  They cannot tell which of two notes is higher.  Along similar lines, I knew a guy who could play the hell out of the guitar (including things like Santana type licks) but who could not reproduce the notes with his voice.  I have a friend who sometimes reads the mirror image of the hands on a clock, so that instead of saying, “It’s eight o’clock,” he will say, “It’s four o’clock.  I also know a couple people who cannot keep their “lefts” and “rights” straight, no matter how hard they try.

I do believe it is a matter of wiring.

My wiring flaw is that I have absolutely no sense of direction.  As I mentioned once before, I have no sense of where north, south, east, or west is at any given time.  When I was in Austin, I asked, “Which way is north?” and a half dozen fingers pointed in the same direction at the same time.  Obviously, they are properly wired.

I also have previously confessed to the strange malady of knowing how to get from point A (my home, for example) to point B, from point A to point C, and from point A to point D, etc. However, without explicit written-for-morons directions, I am utterly incapable of getting from point B to point C without first going back to point A.  And, of course, once I am lost, I am really schnitzled, because of the north, south, east and west thing.

Those days may be over, because yesterday I bought myself one of these babies.

I tried it this morning, and it worked like a charm. It “tells” you where to turn, and even if you screw up, it finds the next best way. And, the best thing is that I don’t have to worry about things like Mr. Template.

Now, with the help of technology, despite my defective wiring, I can go from point “D” to point “B”, and maybe visit point “C” and head back to point “D”, without ever once having to return to “A”.

It’s downright farookin’ remarkable.


Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 7:25 pm

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