November 13, 2007

Bloggers Unite!

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 8:02 pm

strike-mess.jpgThe screenwriters have been on strike for a couple weeks, and now it appears that some news writers may also strike. Hell, even the Broadway stagehands have walked off the job, thereby screwing the peeps, especially tourists, who bought show tickets months ago and flew the family into New York to see “Jersey Boys.”

I thinking that maybe bloggers ought to consider going on strike too. After all, we write stuff, don’t we?

Here are some suggested demands (A strike isn’t worth beans without demands):

1. Hours. The hours are terrible. Many bloggers write into the wee hours of the morning, often after having worked all day and dealt with a full plate of Life 101. Some write early in the morning or in small bits at permitted times during the day. This saps our spirit and our creativity. We should demand regular and civilized hours!

2. Working Conditions. Have you ever seen photos of the squalor in which some bloggers write? Empty soda/beer cans, fast food, candy and snack wrappers, papers strewn all over the place and overloaded ash trays. Bloggers are hassled by pets, spouses and kids. You know damned well what I mean. “When are you going to get away from that damned computer? Blah blah blah.” We should demand a clean and tidy place to blog, free from disturbances of any kind.

3. More Recognition. Face it. Ninety percent of the people in the United States don’t know what a blog is and don’t care to know what a blog is. Of the ten percent who know what a blog is, 90% don’t read or give two shits about blogs. We could all be “contendas.” We should demand recognition and respect, dammit (Think Fredo in “Godfather II”).

4. Spam. Who among us hasn’t been tortured from time to time by the dreaded, lower-than-pond-scum spammer? Why should we tolerate this? We have our goddamned rights. It’s time we should demand that spammers be summarily executed.

5. Compensation. The pay really stinks. In fact, it stinks so bad that illegal immigrants want no part of the gig. We should demand a regular infusion of a bunch of moolah as compensation for our daily pearls of wisdom.

I know you’re thinking, ”Yo, Jimbo, I agree that we ought to demand all these things, but to whom should we make our demands?”

DUH!! I can’t believe you’d have to ask. Obviously, George Bush. He’s responsible for hurricanes, hiccups, carbuncles, war, traffic jams, airplane crashes, body odor, famine, pestilence, death, destruction and most forms of tooth decay.


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