February 10, 2009

Love – Hate Relationships.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 10:54 pm

I think it’s fair to say that anyone who maintains a blog likes to have readers. If not, one might just as well write his silly shit in a notebook and keep it under the bed. I loves da peeps who read this baloney. Having said that, I must say that some of my readers and “friends” are sadistic rat bastards.

Yo, Jimbo. That’s pretty harsh, no?”

No, it’s not, when you consider that I have made no secret of my being scared shitless of alligators. These prehistoric monsters make my goddamned skin crawl.

You would think that people who give up a piece of their time to visit this place would be sensitive to my fears (which, by the way, are completely rational, thankyouverymuch), but nooooooooooo.

Not a week goes by without one of these toids sending me an e-mail that invariably contains a link to a horrible picture or story about goddamned alligators. This sadist, who happens to live in Africa, never misses an opportunity to scare the shit out of me with photos of either a gator or a croc gobbling up some sorry ass animal. Bloggers such as the Wiseass Jooette have even invested her own money to buy my a gift for the sole purpose of torturing me. Same goes for this guy.

Another blogger called me on the phone, real time, laughing her ass off while describing a bigass gator crossing the road in front of her car. Yeah, that’s right. She called me from fifteen hundred miles away just to break my stindeens about a large pre-historic beast crossing the road. WTF? Hell, a few days ago, another blogger posted a farookin’ revolting picture, knowing that I would see it.

Some even invade my own blog to torment me with alligator shit.

The foregoing is just the tip of the proverbial iceberg. Suffice it to say that there are legions of shithooks out there who just can’t wait to send me stuff about alligators, knowing that it will loosen my damned bowels.

The clincher may have come this week from reader Dick, who sent me a clip that I could not bear to watch until the end. ACK!!! Go ahead and watch it, but PLEASE don’t tell me if anyone of those assholes got his head bitten off.

Despite all the abuse, I still appreciate all of youse who stop by — even the rat bastards.

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