February 18, 2009

The Black Sphere.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 9:13 pm

Are you reading The Black Sphere? You should be.

Kevin Jackson, the proprietor of the site says:

Due to the death of my mother when I was 5, I was raised by my grandparents who were staunch Democrats. I recall as a child watching Reagan give a speech in his unsuccessful run for the presidency. After Reagan finished, I said to my grandparents, “Why are we Democrats, when what we believe is what that guy [Reagan] just said?” Thus was the birth of The Black Sphere.

I am just a poor kid, who was fortunate enough to have been exposed to what the world has to offer, and I was raised to be an optimist. My grandparents instilled in me a “no excuses mentality” and work ethic. That is my definition of America.

Go read.

February 17, 2009

Seen on this Morning’s Groundpound.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 9:03 pm

(Clicking makes it bigger — damned if I know why.)

It is a rather fancy-schmancy streetlight pole that was knocked over. (Don’t be distracted by the shadow running horizontally across the bottom of the picture.)

All the ice on the street is gone, so I can only assume that someone had a few cocktails before doing the ka-boom with the pole.

Sure, there is more important news in the world today, but this is about all I can handle without my cruller exploding.

February 16, 2009

Hillary’s Answering Machine.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 6:46 pm

answering-machingPRS Operatives have again outdone themselves. They’ve managed to install a listening device on the telephone answering machine of our new Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton.

Let’s see who is calling Mrs. Clinton these days shall we?

Hillary? Rahm here. Listen, the boss has an urgent assignment for you. There is a plumbing convention in Macedonia you need to attend. You know, show the flag, and press the flesh – that kind of shit. He needs you to leave within the next two hours. Don’t come to Andrews; I’m sending over someone with your ticket. The boss thought it would be good for you to fly commercial coach. It will make a good impression on the base. He said it would be OK for you to expense the cab fare.

Hillary, this is Oprah. Yeah, the Oprah. This is the third time I’ve called to invite you to come on my show, and you have not returned my previous calls. Who the hell do you think you are? Don’t think I don’t know what your problem is. It’s because I’m black, right? I’m takin’ this shit up with Barack.

HILLY!! Pearl here! Called to say Hey! I’m in Rome! The second the voting was over in the House, I slammed my gabel and headed for the door. Tomorrow I’m gonna meet with the Pope! Is that hot shit, or what? Know what I’m doing now? I mean right freakin’ now? I’m playing “Hide the Pepperoni” with a twenty-something named Carlo, who sings opera. Yeah, right now, as I speak! Ooooooh, Carlo …. Give mama that High C one more time. Gotta go, Hilly. Oooooooh ….

Mrs. Clinton, this is Margaret Benton from Jay Leno’s office. Mr. Leno has been very busy and was unable to return your many calls asking why your appearance on the show was canceled in favor of a guy who dances barefoot on broken glass. In order to save you the time of making any more calls, I shall be blunt with you. The fact is, Mrs. Clinton, nobody gives a shit about you these days. Please don’t bother Mr. Leno any more.

Mrs. Clinton, this is Vinnie, the Pizza Guy from Washington D.C. You still owe me $17,566.00 for pizzas I delivered last fall. I’ve been getting the runaround for months now, and I want you to know that I plan to turn this over for collection, if you get my drift.

Hey, deadbeat bitch! This is Albie Kneecaps DiFrancesco. I’m one a Vinnie’s partners, and it’s not very nice to stiff Vinnie and Albie. Vinnie told you what? Seventeen-eighteen tousand? Well, guess what, Grande Culo. He forgot the vig. The total is now forty-tree tousand. We want da money in 48 hours. Cash. I don’t plan on callin’ again. Freakin’ putana.

February 15, 2009

Sunday Morning Groundpound.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 10:40 am

It’s nice to have the place to one’s self.

February 14, 2009

Wayback Machine.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 10:04 pm

I am haunted by a recurring nightmare in which I am a guy in Munich back in, say, 1934, who can see into the future.

In my nightmare, there is a new leader who has taken the nation by storm. He promises us Hope and Change by bringing the nation back from the doldrums and economic chaos following the defeat in World War I and the Treaty of Versailles. The Volk are mesmerized by this new leader’s charismatic speeches. They’re convinced of his almost superhuman powers and great wisdom, because he attracts huge crowds and he’s managed to get the trains to run on time.

The problem is that, in my nightmare, despite all the adulation heaped on the guy, I know how it will all turn out in the end, and no one will listen.

Which is why I don’t sleep much.

Saturday Blahs.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 3:00 pm

There’s an excellent chance that I won’t be writing anything today, other than this sentence.

February 13, 2009

Meet My Piece of Shit Senator.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 7:33 pm

Yes, that would be Frank Lautenberg, the cadaverous jerk. At least he gets points for honesty. He will vote for the Stimulus Bill Shit Sandwich even though he admits that he hasn’t read it. As for the other Piece of Shit, he’ll vote for it too, as sure as day becomes night, even though there is no way he read it either.

Look, I know the reality is that legislators often vote on bills they haven’t read, but given the huge price tag of this Bill, its massive scope and the long range effects this legislative time bomb will have, this is one they ought to have damned well read.

My contempt for these two knows no bounds.

February 12, 2009


Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 11:25 pm

Tonight I attended a county-wide American Legion meeting. Those in attendance included Caucasian and African-American men and women veterans, including one female Navy Captain on active duty. The subjects on the agenda were various programs to help veterans and children.

There was no discussion of politics, because politics doesn’t matter when one is in a room full of genuine patriots.

It was a refreshing break.

February 11, 2009

Where’s Hillary?

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 9:38 pm

The other night, during The One’s bullshitfest press conference, he gave shout outs to a couple members of his administration. One name notably absent was “Hillary Clinton.” The One has given the high-visibility foreign assignments to “czars” and pals — even Joe the Maroon Biden (a self-proclaimed foreign policy expert). Perhaps Hillary will be sent to negotiate a peace treaty with The Duchy of Grand Fenwick.

Obama has a history of throwing people under the bus, but in Hillary’s case it seems she’s been relegated to the back of the bus.

Cracks me up to see that Bill and Hillary were outfoxed by our Chicago Politician-in-Chief.

Warning: Your Head May Explode.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 7:53 pm

Wrong, you despicable mutt. Some of us care, and we care a lot. I fervently hope that New Yorkers care enough to boot your ass out of office when your term expires.

You’ll have to find a real job, which would be a first for you.

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