Tonight I took a break from aggravating the shit out of myself over the political swamp and attended the Billiards Club Christmas Party.

Behold Da Cake.

I figure I was born to retire.

The more I think about the incandescent light bulb ban as but one example of the increasing governmental intrusion into everyone’s everyday lives, the angrier I become. I recalled a post I had written two years ago, before the current regime was in office. Now that we have endured three years of crap from The One and his pack of rogues, the post takes on a new meaning. Here it is, as it appeared in December, 2007:

STEEP SLOPE

Now that the federal government is in the business of mandating what kind of light bulbs Americans can use, I can see where this is headed.

2012
100-watt incandescent light bulbs are banned.

2013
Bright colors are banned. Colors are frivolous, and dye manufacturers are well known polluters. Henceforth, all fabrics will be grey.

2014
40-watt incandescent light bulbs are banned.

Candles are banned as a source of dangerous greenhouse gases. Exceptions for use of candles in religious ceremonies will not be granted, for to do so would constitute an impermissible establishment of religion.

Christmas Holiday Winter Festival lights are banned as being a profligate waste of energy. Real Winter Festival trees are banned as wasteful destruction of greenhouse gas reducing flora. Artificial Winter Festival trees are also banned, as the manufacturers of such items are known polluters. State-approved Winter Festival trees, which are grey in color, eighteen inches tall and are manufactured from recycled paper, can be obtained at your local office of the Federal Bureau of Permissible Celebratory Goods (the “FBPCG”).

2015
Separate clothing styles for men and women are banned, as being wasteful and promoting of differences between the sexes. Henceforth all citizens will wear the state-approved grey suit manufactured in China according to U.S. Government specifications, which specifications shall be established by the Federal Bureau of Egalitarian Clothing (the “FBEC”).

Automobile usage will not be permitted without first obtaining a usage permit from the Federal Bureau of Automobile Control (the “FBAC”). Eligibility for issuance of a usage permit will be based solely on the extent to which a citizen’s use of an automobile is in the interest of the state. If it is determined that a citizen is eligible to be assigned an automobile, the type and size of such automobile will be determined by the FBAC, based on family size and distance traveled to and from a citizen’s assigned workplace.

2015
Desserts of any kind are banned as a prime source of obesity. Henceforth all citizens will be assigned a daily permissible caloric limit, which will be strictly enforced by the Federal Bureau of Caloric Control (the “FBCC”). In addition, alcoholic beverages are also banned as being a source of drunkenness and social disharmony. The alcoholic beverage ban will be enforced by a sub-department of the FBCC, known as the U.S. Department of Enforced Sobriety (the “USDES”).

Eating of any animal products is banned as being barbaric and insensitive to our animal neighbors on the planet.

All citizens will henceforth be required to assemble in their respective state-assigned locations for morning exercise. Exceptions will be permitted only upon presentation of a note from a physician from the citizen’s local Federal Health Center.

All firearms will be turned in to the Federal Bureau of Firearms Management (the “FBFM”). After June 1, 2015, firearms in the hands of citizens will be deemed contraband and will subject the violator to criminal sanctions. The FBFM is not authorized to make exceptions to this edict.

2016
All written works and works of artistic expression in any form must be submitted to the Federal Bureau of Properspeak (the “FBP”) to ensure that nothing in any such works offends any citizen, anywhere.

2017
The right and title to all property of any kind, whether real, tangible, or intangible, wherever situated, shall vest in the Federal Government, which, through the Federal Office of Property Distribution (the “FOPD”) shall be equitably distributed to its citizens according to their respective needs.

Fluency in the Spanish language shall be mandatory for all citizens.

JUST SHOOT ME NOW.

Update [2007]: Check this out.

2011 Update: There may be a non-governmental glimmer of hope on the light bulb front.

PRS Operatives managed to catch up with New Jersey “Republican” Congressman Scott Garrett on his way to work.

Congressman Garrett, PRS here. Do you have time for a question or two?

I suppose so, but I am, as I’m sure you know, very busy with important things.

OK, I’ll get right to it. Could you explain to me the reason why you joined with nine other Republican congressmen to vote against the rescinding the ban on the sale of incandescent light bulbs, thereby forcing Americans to light their homes with those compact fluorescent things?

I don’t see a problem with the ban. There is nothing wrong with compact fluorescent light bulbs.

Did you consider that compact fluorescent bulbs don’t come on instantly when cold, that they cause seizures in some people and that they produce sterile light, which many people simply do not like?

Well, they are better for the environment.

Did you consider that they contain mercury, which means that they require special disposal procedures and that when dropped, they can’t be simply swept up and put in the trash, but rather require Hazmat-type procedures to clean up the broken bulb?

Yes, I’m aware of all those things, but I still think that the law banning old-fashioned light bulbs is a good idea.

Do all the light fixtures in your home contain exclusively compact fluorescent light bulbs?

I don’t think the type of light bulbs I use in my home is any of your business.

Do you feel it?

Feel what?

The earth-shaking irony in your last statement.

I don’t know what you mean.

I didn’t think you would.

Well, November 27th came and went. On that day, I wrote a short blog about putting up the Christmas tree, when I should have remembered that on November 27th this blog had its ninth birthday. It’s not so much a cause for celebration as it is for a bit of reflection.

In 2002, blogging was hot stuff. It seemed that damned near everyone who owned a computer started a blog. Nine years later, I wonder if blogging has jumped the shark, particularly for the regular person, non-corporate, no-advertising blogger.

For example, on my sidebar, there are 91 blogs/bloggers listed under “Peeps I’ve Met.” By my count, 48 of them are no longer blogging and 13 of them post only once in a blue moon. Many of them have abandoned their blogs in favor of engaging regularly in Facebookery and Tweetery. That’s fine, but it is a bit sad when people I know who are very creative and can write very well have descended into offerings such as “At the supermarket. Needed toothpaste.”

That’s not to say that this space, of late, has been any more interesting than a Facebook status update of the “Who-Really-Gives-a-Shit” variety. We’ll see what this year brings.

As always, thanks for stopping by.

This has been circulating on the web and via emails (I got mine from Catfish), but some of you non-internet denizens may not have seen it. It is amazing, and it serves to remind me that there is still hope for the country.