April 30, 2010

An Idle Thought.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 8:05 pm

Dear President Obama,

I think it would be really cool if you would resign as President and take your sorry ass to some shithole like Somalia or maybe even Kenya where you would have a real shot at becoming King, or dictator (You could even design yourself a cool uniform) without bothering with stuff like a Constitution. Yeah, I know. We would end up with Joe Biden as President, which would surely be a bitch, but, on balance, he is just a run-of-the-mill idiot, rather than a socialist ideologue committed to “fundamentally transforming” the country.

We can deal with idiots, but you, sir, scare the dogshit out of me.

Just a guy who think you’re in way, way over your head

April 29, 2010

Amazing Photography.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 9:30 pm

I assume that, by now, you have all seen the photo of Nancy Pelosi that appears on the cover of Capitol File magazine.

I was so impressed with the photographer’s work, I hired him to take my picture. I was very pleased by how it turned out.

Here it is.

April 28, 2010

PSA and Testimonial.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 2:59 pm

I first saw this video at C&S. Although the it sounded a bit nuts to me at the time, I decided to give it a try.

The verdict: It works. Try it.

You’re welcome.

April 27, 2010

Good Intentions.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 9:49 pm

I had intended to write something. No, really I did, but Life 101 kicked in, and that was that.

Not exactly deep thoughts, but ……………… feh!

April 26, 2010

Barack Takes Calls.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 4:26 pm

In an effort to directly compete with Conservative Talk Radio, our Leader President has decided to take calls directly from listeners. PRS has obtained a transcript of the program.

Barack: Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. Barack Obama here, The One, the winner of the 2008 election, President of the United States and Leader of the Free World. I know that my appearing on AM radio to take your calls is indeed an historic first. I cannot take credit for this groundbreaking idea, as it was my Chief of Staff, Rahm Emmanuel, who convinced me that this would be an excellent forum in which to speak directly with my subjects – I mean the citizens — I mean residents of the United States. So, let’s get started, shall we? Our first caller is Dominique from Detroit. Good morning, Dominique. What’s on your mind?

Dominique: I got a question about this healthcare stuff.

Barack: Sure. I’ll be happy to help.

Dominique: Yesterday, I went to a doctor’s office around the corner from where I live and told the receptionist that I wanted to see the doctor. She axed me if I was a patient, and I said that I wasn’t, but I wanted to see the doctor about my sore knee.

Barack: OK, then what happened?

Dominique: Da bitch axed me if I had any kind of insurance, and I told her “no,” and she says, “If you want to see the doctor, you’ll have to either pay in cash or by credit card.” I said, “Yo, bitch, I ain’t payin’ shit. Barack said my healthcare is free. Maybe you ain’t heard.”

Barack: Well, Dominique. I do have some good news for you.

Dominique: Good, ‘cause I wanna go back to that bitch and straighten her smartass out, then see the doctor for my free healthcare.

Barack: Well, it doesn’t exactly work that way, Dominique. Under my healthcare plan, you’ll be able to buy insurance, and …

Dominique: Say what?

Barack: Under the plan, you will be able to buy health insurance.

Dominique: Yo, did you say ”buy?”

Barack: Yes, you will be able to buy affordable coverage, even if you have a pre-existing condition.

Dominique: I ain’t buyin’ shit.

Barack: Well, Dominique, under the law, you have to buy insurance.

Dominique: You must be either be deaf or outta your mind. I said, I ain’t buyin’ shit! I’m just gonna take my ass to the ‘mergency room and get free healthcare.

Barack: But, that’s not the way it works, Dominique.

Dominique: What they gonna do in the ‘mergency room? Throw me out?

Barack: I don’t think they’ll do that.

Dominique: So, like I said. I ain’t buyin’ shit, and I ain’t payin’ for shit. What you gonna do? Throw my ass in jail?

Barack: Well, the law does provide for penalties.

Dominique: You and your law can kiss my ass.


Barack: Ladies and Gentlemen, I have just been called away for a very important meeting, so, unfortunately, we’ll have to leave it there.

Barack: (off mic) Tell Emmanuel to be in my office in two minutes. His ass is mine.

April 24, 2010

Holy Bozo, Batman!

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 11:01 am

We will be driving to Hershey, Pennsylvania today to attend a wedding, to be followed by the reception in a nearby hotel, where the Usual Suspects have booked rooms. Yesterday, I received an email from a friend of mine who went out a day early, and he informed me that, this weekend, the hotel is hosting a clown convention.

Yes, peeps, a farookin’ clown convention.

Good grief!

I hate farookin’ clowns.

This could be a long day.

April 23, 2010

The Way of the Vegetable.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 3:54 pm

“Rutabaga?” What kind of a bullshit name is that?

Oh, like you’re one to make fun of names. Talk about a bullshit name, try saying your name, real fast, three times. Go ahead. Try it! Never mind. I’ll do it for you. ”Squash! Squash! Squash!” Sounds like someone walking through slush, or maybe shit.



Dudes, Arugula here. What’s with all the anger and arguing? That is not The Way of the Vegetable. Maybe you should each take a few cleansing breaths and look deep inside yourselves to find the source of this hostility. I believe if you just try, we can all get along.

Hippie jyerrkoff!

Moonbat douchebag!

Now, where were we?

You were calling me an asshole.

Oh, right, asshole.


April 22, 2010

Fun on Two Wheels?

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 11:54 pm

I don’t think so!

Thanks to Rich for the link

April 21, 2010

Dinner for One.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 7:37 pm

Just because you’re dining alone, doesn’t mean you can’t be civilized.

This would be a Bombay Sapphire Martini, with olives, straight up.

Of course, what’s dinner without some chocolate-peanut butter pie?

One of the distinct advantages of dining alone is that there is no voice saying, “Do you really need that pie?” (Of course, I don’t need it, but it’s peanut butter chocolate PIE, fer Chrissakes!)

Everything between the Martini and dessert was also excellent.

April 19, 2010

Willie Nelson Unglued.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 12:31 pm

Willie says the buildings in the World Trade Center “imploded,” and it ought to be “looked into.” I think all that reefer has finally taken its toll.

via Moonbattery

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